What Are Your Struggles Right Now?

I personally have too many to mention, post over.  Just kidding.  I am talking about a struggle or two that happens to be to the forefront right now.

For me, it is keeping out of what I call ‘ the dark place’.  I seem to get there by one, or maybe two roads.  I’ll try to sum them up, but you will see how they overlap and intertwine.

1.  Losing my joy, translated depression or oppression.  Defined as, feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps; a sense of being weighed down in body or mind.

2. Stressed and Overwhelmed, defined as, bury or drown beneath a huge mass, To defeat completely and decisively.

When I am in one, or both, of these places I am ‘not me’.  That is how Brian and I describe it.  I am happy, energetic, vibrant, excited, thankful, joyful, bubbly (sometimes annoyingly so, like after 10:00 pm) When I come out of the dark I just can’t believe how good it feels to feel ‘like me’ again.

I am learning a lot about how and why I get there.  I sometimes get confused because often times it is cyclical, which clearly means hormonal.  I have been praying for discernment and I feel the Lord is slowly opening my eyes to the how/when/why of the whole mess.

I have had two very big to me, victories in the past week.  One night I was tying up lots of loose ends with business, emails, posts and scheduling classes and sales.  I was tired.  (first red flag)  I started to get very panicky and an overwhelmed feeling.  I was able to recognize it and instead pushing through and HAVING to figure it out, I was able to just stop and cast it onto the Lord.  Trusting Him to work it out. I simply let it go.  (very new behavior for me)

By morning, it was abundantly clear I was barking up a few trees I wasn’t supposed to.  I dropped it and peace returned.  It was lovely!  Ahhh, peace.

The other one was just yesterday.  I had started to have my feelings hurt a bit on Sunday over a few things and had begun to withdraw.  By Monday morning I was already feeling pretty sad, unhappy, down in the dumps.  Not necessarily over my hurt feelings, but just withdrawn and sad. 

I was able to recognize the pull of that ‘dark place’ (it really does feel like it is pulling me into it) and cry out to God to ‘keep me as the apple of His eye.’  And that I needed Him to be the ‘lifter of my head’.  I ran to Him, the Rock that is higher than I.

Do you know that I was my happy, bubbly, frisky self all day?!  He did it!  He kept me.  I didn’t have to fight some huge battle all by myself.  I just had to submit to Him, resist the devil (and the darkness) and the devil (and the darkness) had to flee! 

Last night I shared with Brian how I was slipping into the dark place in the morning (a slight look of panic in his eyes, it is just as hard on him as it is me when I am there) and how God had delivered me.  He was a bit surprised because you would have never known I was headed that way by the way the day went.

So thankful for the discernment to see it BEFORE it happens, because, man, when you are in it, so much harder to get out of it.

What about you?  What are your struggles right now?  Are you getting some victory?

He Answers Before We Even Call

The Lord has been doing amazing things in our lives lately.  Okay, He always does, we just don’t always see it, or it might not ‘feel’ amazing. 

For some reason, He is allowing us to really ‘see’ what He is doing.  We are seeing His hand move in ways we have never dreamt of. 

We have watched Him lead and guide us with our family business.  He opens doors we didn’t even think of.  When it is so clearly Him leading, the favor and blessing around it is so amazing.

This Summer there was a particular Antique Show that we had never heard of.  We were approached to be a part of it.  (we didn’t seek it out)  We prayed and kept it before the Lord and just kept walking. There were MANY details that were beyond our reach.  At anytime we were willing to lay it down.  He blew open door after door.  We followed, even though it meant some significant sacrifice on our part.  Just because He leads and provides does not mean that it won’t cost us anything.

We had incredible favor, and I mean incredible!  And, seeing what He is up to now, we see that was stepping stone and preparing for where He is taking us! 

There are some amazing things coming down the road for {re}imagined just for you that only HE could make happen.  We just sit here in awe.  I find myself just saying, ‘really?’  ‘Are you kidding me?’  Just, ‘WOW!’  I love when it is so clearly HIM!

For all those out there who the enemy is lying to right now, telling you ‘her life is all rosy and mine stinks’, let me tell you to stop listening to him, first of all.  And second, never compare a small glimpse of someone else’s life, they still have struggles and live in the same fallen world you do.  Better yet, don’t compare at all and just be thankful for where you are.

While we are experiencing the fun side of all of this, it is a lot of work, takes a lot of sacrifice, and we are definitely feeling the ‘growing pains’.  But, oh, when we put our eyes on Him and are so thankful for what He is doing, well, the things of this world grow strangely dim.

What amazing things is He doing in your life right now?  Or maybe, you are in that dark place before the seed breaks forth??  If you are and are just wanting a little boost in prayer, please email me, I’d be honored to lift a sister to the Lord.  I know of the dark places, they still call my name. 

Shall I do a post or two on the ‘dark places?”

Sending you big hugs!

His Love Never Fails . . .

I have no idea what you might be going through right now, but I do know that His love will never fail you.  I promise you, but don’t take my word for it, take His.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

 Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

 Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:29-39)

Here is one of my favorite songs right now.  I just want to listen to this truth over and over again.

More Healthy “Go-To” Meals for Mama

In my last post I shared a few healthy options for Mama.  Not that you can’t make them for your whole family, but sometimes I need something in the fridge for me!  I need an option when Peanut Butter and Jelly is on the menu.  Don’t get me wrong, the PB & J the children had on fresh baked bread, all gooey and ready to be dipped in milk looked fantastic.  But I know I need to make better choices for me, for my health and for my body.

I am LOVING me some Curry right now.  I found this simple recipe and it is so good.  You can make it is mild or hot as you like.

Ok, so here’s the recipe!

Thai Green Curry (I use the Red Curry)

1.5 lbs boneless skinless chicken breast, diced into bite size pieces (already cooked)

2 carrots, diced

1/2 a large head of green cabbage, shredded

3 cups crimini mushrooms

1 can coconut milk

1/2 cup chicken stock

1 tablespoon Thai curry paste (if you are using red paste, start with 1/2 a tablespoon and add more later if you want it spicier – this stuff has a kick! If you use the green paste, I actually use 3 to 3 1/2 tablespoons because it’s much milder and we like the extra kick – experiment and find the amount that works for you!)

1-2 splashes of fish sauce or more to taste

1-2 splashes of coconut aminos or more to taste (you could use soy sauce)

Cilantro

In a large soup pot add the coconut milk and curry paste, mix until blended and bring to a boil. Turn down to low and simmer for 5 minutes. While the coconut milk and curry are simmering, dice up your chicken and chop your veggies. Add the chicken, carrots, chicken broth, fish sauce, and coconut aminos to the coconut milk curry – mix well and simmer for another 10 minutes. Add the cabbage and mushrooms and cook for another 3-5 minutes or until the cabbage is tender. Top with diced cilantro.

From “Everyday Paleo”

Another quick one I love right now is what I call

Sundried Tomato Turkey Burgers

No real recipe, just take some ground turkey, add in some chopped sundried tomatoes and a couple of spoonfuls of prepared pesto.  (homemade is best)  Mash it all together and make into patties.  I cook them in a cast iron frying pan with a fair amount of Olive oil. (again, coconut oil would be better for you)

I love to have this with sautéed mushrooms.  I just dump in a ton of sliced mushrooms while I am frying the burgers.  They get all tasty from the juices of the burger.  This has enough protein and good fats to keep you satisfied all afternoon.

I feel like I am eating a gourmet meal!  I don’t miss those P B & J when I am eating this!

Let me know if you have any questions.  Next time, two more of my favorite veggie dishes. 

Healthy ‘Go-To’ Meals for Mama

Life is busy, right?  And if I am being honest, making uber healthy meals for the family has dropped a few rungs on the priority list.  Don’t get me wrong, we still eat far, far better than the SAD (Standard American Diet).  Far better.

I have been purposing to make some really healthy meals for me that are quick and easy, because let’s face it, a forty-six year old mama who has had nine children, adrenal exhaustion and various health issue should not be eating Pesto Pasta, Stromboli and homemade Macaroni Cheese.  Correct?  The children’s body can tolerate this far more than my body. 

So, without guilt, I have chosen to do what they tell you to do on the airplane.  You know, ‘put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you put it on your child.’  That’s what I am currently doing

Here we go.  First, I am crazy in love with Chipotle Mayo.  I make my own homemade mayo, you remember, don’t you?  Check out the link.  No excuses.  Then I simply add some chopped, canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce.  YUM!  Add as much or little as you like, they are kind of spicy, but I like it spicy.

A perfect and easy meal for me would be a burger patty (no bun) slathered in homemade chipotle mayo, a side of sweet potato fries (I skip the cinnamon) and roasted green beans.

I roast a whole bunch of green beans, slathered in olive oil and salt and pepper.  That way I have them for other meals.  There is no excuse to not eat your veggies if they are already prepared.

Another quick ground beef meal is ‘Ground Beef Stir-fry’.  I make this up with about 1 1/2 pound organic ground beef and have it for a couple of lunches/dinners during the week.  Super easy, no real recipe. 

Ground Beef Stir-Fry

I brown the ground beef with chopped onion and Olive Oil until done. 

While that is browning I peel/chop any veggies I have on hand.  Red peppers, carrots, celery, broccoli, Napa cabbage, whatever I have and whatever sounds good.

When beef is done, I remove it from the pan and start sautéing the veggies in olive oil.  (I would suggest coconut oil, it is better for you, but I don’t love it)  When they are tender-crisp I put the meat back in and splash with a healthy dose of Coconut Aminos (you could use soy sauce, Tamari or Braggs aminos)

Load up your plate and dig in!

I have a few more recipes I will share this week, Lord willing.  It is amazing how good one feels when they are fueling their bodies with simple, whole foods, like meat and veggies!

What  are your healthy go-to recipes?

Halloween and Christians

No, I am not going to tackle this one all by myself. I suspect it might be one those ‘sacred cows’ that many are afraid to talk about.  But my friend Robin Sampson over at Heart of Wisdom has done a splendid job, so I thought I would share it. 

“Should Christians Observe Halloween?”  It’s a good read and she makes some really good points.

Is ‘Drivenness’ Really Sin?

I believe it is.  We are supposed to be led by the Spirit.  Jesus is our Shepherd.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.  He LEADS me beside still waters . . .

Satan Drives, Our Father leads.

Being highly productive and a real motivated person is a good thing.  Working hard is also a good thing.  Being able to accomplish a lot is certainly a gift.

But, when it is done because of a spirit of drivenness it is wrong.

I could live out two exactly the same looking days.  Perhaps I answer several emails, paint four pieces of furniture, make a yummy dinner, do a full days worth of school with the children and make some bread too. (Okay, that’s a lot)

Now, if I do so from a place of peace and in the strength of the Lord then that is one of those highly productive, wonderfully fun kind of days.

But, if I do it because I feel like if I don’t get all this done I am going to somehow fail, or will never get it done. I’m so behind, I better do this now, or else.  Or feel all rushed and anxious and am totally unwilling to stop no matter what because I have got to get this done!  Pity the fool that gets in my way. This is sin!

One is led by the Lord and peaceful.  The other I am being ‘pushed’ and driven, by fear, lack of trust, control and a host of other possible evil spirits.  Do you see the difference?

I tend to be a highly motivated person, which is a good thing.  But, the downside is, I can easily and frequently step right into drivenness.  Sometimes I am days into it before I realize it.  I only hurt myself, my health and those around me when I do. Our bodies were not meant to live on that kind of adrenaline rush all day every day.

I have to ask myself, way more frequently than I do, ‘am I feeling led to do this or am I feeling driven?’  In a perfect world, if I feel the least bit driven I need to back off and let it go.  I might be off on my discernment sometimes, but I would rather error on the side of perhaps getting one less thing done than participating with the enemy’s plan for me.

His plan is to steal, kill and destroy. He can easily do so if he drives us in the ground with drivenness and fear.  All our energy spent on always pushing, always chasing, always trying to get one more thing done.  And then, once our bodies have reached their max, which it will ladies, trust me, it will, we collapse under complete exhaustion.  Sounds a like a plan of the enemy to me!

I am still learning and growing in the area.  I still go in and out of this way more than I would like to.  My Father is so faithful to always be wooing me back to Him, to His leading.

Lingering Tiredness

For me, when I am more tired than usual I know to check a few ‘spiritual’ issues. I’m not talking about your normal run of just being tired from a busy time in life.  I mean when profound ‘tiredness’ begins to become a way of life.  A heaviness spirit, soul and body.

I believe many, if not all of the symptoms I had with Adrenal Exhaustion were indeed spiritual.  Things like, Fear (stress and anxiety incl.) Drivenness, Performance, Perfectionism, and others, were a huge part of making me sick.

I want to share with you what the Lord has been showing me lately.  You see, when I ‘take the wheel’ and drive this thing called life, it is more than I can bear.  More than I was made to bear.  I step into Drivenness and begin to feel driven to get things done.  I feel almost pushed.  The fretting begins and it doesn’t take long before EVERYTHING is overwhelming. (fear)

I’m afraid things aren’t going to get done if I don’t do them. (fear)  The things I get accomplished are never enough.  There is always more to do.  My standards are incredibly high, for myself and others.  (perfectionism)

This is just a small sampling of the cycle I can step into.  You can see how one would be tired, can’t you?  I totally believe that we can do ALL that God calls us to do and He will supply the strength.  It can look like a lot, but if it is HIM leading it, He will provide the strength.    I don’t think there is one thing on my plate that I am not supposed to be doing right now, EXCEPT the fretting, driven, fear part. (which, by the way, brings the exhaustion)

When I realize this and repent, yes, repent!  Fear, stress, anxiety, drivenness, and the like, is SIN!  It is NOT okay, no matter what the circumstance.  He would not command us to ‘do not fear’ hundreds of times if it was okay to fear.  When I repent and begin to renew my mind and take those lying thoughts captive, strength begins to return.  As well as the joy!

The Lord seems to be showing me verses that talk about strength.  I’ll share one today.

For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: (Is. 30:15)

I studied out some of the words.

Quietness: to be still, undisturbed, tranquility, inner confidence or peace

Confidence:  trust, true belief in God should be exhibited by implicit trust in Him.   The people of God even in their sinful failure should glorify Him by quiet trust instead of reliance on self stratagems and other powers.  This confident trust would bring divine strength and salvation.

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength . . .

. . . when my mind is calm, undisturbed, not fretting, not trying to figure out how I am going to do it all, not taking thought for tomorrow . . .

and

when my trust is in Him, not my own strength or my ideas of how/what needs done . . .then shall I be strong!

All the crazy thinking makes one weak and tired and overwhelmed.

In understand some of you are deep in the throes of Adrenal Fatigue, this is not meant to ‘solve all your problems’.  I am just trying to give you a picture of what goes on inside the mind of a ‘former Adrenal Fatiguer’  who is still in the process of walking this out.  God did dramatically heal me, but it is a daily choice to take thoughts captive or to begin to believe the lies and walk in them.

I haven’t done an awesome job of labeling my posts over the years, but if you want to read more about my life and Adrenal Fatigue, here is the link from the search button on my blog.  Apparently I have mentioned it a time or two.

 

Just Today

I woke up, tired, sick with a nasty cold.  Sort of ‘joyless’ for lack of a better word.  This last year has been a blur.  So much wonderful yet so much hurriedness. I am feeling a bit tattered and worn, like an old quilt.  Threadbare in many places.

I need the Lord, His word, His presence.  I picked up the computer instead of my bible, guilt comes when I do this.  I checked on a few of my ‘spiritual encouragement’ blogs.  My heart started to awaken at what I was reading.

I got ‘bounced’ around, in a good way, and could tell the Lord was leading and ministering to my heart each step of the way.

I poured out my heart in the comment section on one of the posts.  Was raw and real.  I cried hot tears as I typed how I had lost my joy and didn’t know how to find it.  How to find my way back home?  I was living in a fog, I felt so confused. 

I have walked in this joy, this peace, for long stretches of times, but somehow I just couldn’t choose joy.  Me and joy, we have sort of a revolving door relationship.  Deep abiding joy is often elusive. 

The more I read the more I cried, but as I cried, things got brighter.  The weight upon my shoulders, it began to lift. 

My mind began to slow. The thoughts, ‘how am I going to do this; I have 5 ‘business’ emails to answer; custom orders piling up; school to plan; school to DO, for crying out loud; so much disarray from this crazy year; our home, the children, they need me, I need them . . . these thoughts, they begin to drift away.  Kind of like the ‘hills melt like wax at the presence of the Lord.’

I breathe in deep, slow and long.  I sense Him.  I exhale.  Peace replaces anxiety.  I breathe in His love.  I exhale the lies, the crazy, the voice of the enemy.  I become surrendered to Him and His plan.

Suddenly my plans, my questioning, my worries, they simply drift away.  The corners of my mouth begin to turn upwards.  The tears cease.  Joy has returned.

Does He know all that I have to do?  Of course!  Does He expect me to know how I am going to do it all today?  No, He does not.  Will His grace be sufficient each step of the way?  Absolutely!  He only asks me to

“Turn my eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

Sometimes I picture Him waiting, with open arms, for me to realized how far off His plan I am and how buried in my own plans I am. 

I also picture Him pursuing me, even while I am running my own way.  You know . . .

And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left. (Is. 30:21)

(to read the whole beautiful context, click here.  It will likely bless your heart.)

He is right there, every breath is from Him.  All I need to do is breathe and know that He is here.  This inhale, this exhale, it is from Him, He is here.

I can rest in Him knowing that all I need to think about, do and focus on TODAY, is what He has for me TODAY!  Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, just today.  I don’t need to even wonder how I am going to maintain this joy tomorrow.  Just today, my eyes on Him.

One of My Favorite Quotes

Sally Clarkson has been an encouragement in my role as a mama for many, many years.  I recently rediscovered her blog and am encouraged all over again.

There is one quote from Sally that has shaped my life more than any other quote.  It is,

“In the absence of biblical conviction, people will go the way of culture.”

I have been so challenged over the years by this quote. We have been laughed at, ridiculed and questioned by many, including Christians, for our convictions and refusal to go the way of culture in so many areas.  It was the foundation of biblical conviction that has kept us steady.  (that, and my uber-steady husband. )

I now challenge you to examine your life, your heart.  What areas have you ‘gone the way of culture’ due to the lack of biblical conviction?

This is a tough one, isn’t it?

It’s a New Day

I am not quite sure why this song is on my mind today.  I have only heard it maybe three times.  But it is October first, and a Monday, and the beginning of a new school year, and the end of a tremendously busy season (though I don’t think I will be to much less busy) and frankly, I just love the beginning of anything, well, except for the beginning of this nasty cold.

I have so utterly missed sharing my heart here.  So much has been going on and I don’t think my life has ever, ever been so full and my brain cells every been so maxed out.  I mean ever.

It has been an extremely challenging yet beautiful season.  Our ‘family’ business has been a whirlwind and I have hardly been able to keep my head above water.  Actually, quite often I felt like I was drowning.  But the Lord grew and stretched me.  Many old fears I thought were dealt with came up.  Some ‘baggage’ I thought I left behind apparently was still there.

It’s a new day and I am excited to be turning my heart back towards home and these children more than it has been. I know I have not been out of line with what the Lord has put on our plates, but I tell you, as much as I have been thrilled with this ‘business’ and the HUGE blessings that came along.  I am a wife and mama!  I love the limelight, the attention, the accolades, the sales, the women I get to deal with on a regular basis, the ministry opportunities, but I was made to be a wife and mama first.

Wondering what in the world I am talking about?  Below is about a bazillion pictures to give you an idea.  This does not include the classes, the Antique Markets, the ‘picking’, and countless dealings through emails.  This is just a peek at the ‘fun’ I have had.

Okay, I’ll stop.  This is really just a tiny sampling, and I mean tiny, of what I have been up to in the last several months.  Perhaps this explains my absence better than words. 

If you would like to see more of what we have been doing, please feel free to visit our business blog at {re}imagined just for you.  Or, if you prefer, you can follow us on Facebook too, {re}imagined Facebook page.  (sounds all ‘high-techy’ doesn’t it?  My sons handle most of this for me, they help make me ‘legit’)

I have missed you and have loved your emails and your checking in on me.  Thank you!  Hopefully I am back!

Blessings,

Michelle

He Knows My Heart

“You know my heart, and it is because You know my heart that I can trust You”

That is the thought that came to my mind the other day when I was praying and asking God, once again, for a long term prayer request.

You see, I only think I know my heart when I am asking for something and I cry, “Father, You know my heart”, somehow insinuating the my motives are pure, therefore my request should be granted.

So often I feel entitled to my request based on the assumption my motives are pure.  Could it be the One who holds and knows my heart, with all its desires and motives, truly does know that perhaps there is a better way, a deeper work to be done?

Is this the time to, on a deeper level, trust you with all my heart and lean NOT on my own understanding.  To not be wise in my own eyes and rest in You?

Trusting with all my heart—yet trusting Him more.  Often times, it isn’t until looking back in hindsight, that the true motives of the heart become clear.  Until then, I can trust His heart even in my faltering steps of faith. Even when my heart ‘seems’ so spot on, it may not be, but I can trust Him.  Yes, even then, I can trust Him.

“You know my heart, and it is because You know my heart that I can trust You”

Is He Lord AND Savior?

I recently listened to a message on the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  I was quite challenged with this message and the question of whether I have made Him, or allowed Him to actually be LORD over my life, every area.

I think we all sign up for the ‘Savior’ part of the deal, but how do we really feel about the ‘Lord’ part?  If ‘Lord’ means boss, ruler, the one in charge, Master . . . a person who has authority, control, or power over others, chief, ruler, is He indeed ‘LORD’ of our lives?

I don’t know about you, but in several areas of my life I apparently think I can handle this one.  “Thanks, Jesus, but I have this one covered”, seems to be my mindset.  Oh, it wasn’t that obvious, it took some light from the Holy Spirit. 

I have been a wee bit shocked as He has revealed to me areas that I have not submitted to Him.  Things I would rather hold on to, mostly because of a lack of trust in His ability to handle it the way I want Him too.  Ouch.

I challenge you to get quiet before Him and ask Him if there are areas you have not submitted to Him.  You might be surprised at what you see, I sure was.

I love what He is showing me.  I love the refreshing repentance brings.  I love the peace and joy that comes when I am submitted to Him and trust Him for the very things that I have held on to so tightly.  It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders each time. 

If you would like to listen to the message that started this in me several weeks ago, you may do so.  Just a heads up though, the actual service the message is from starts out with  35 minutes of worship that I did not listen to, so I can’t vouch for that part.  I have been so blessed by these messages, but I always fast forward to the teaching, skipping the worship.  (just my opinion)  It’s called, “More Than a Savior”  You do need to download it to fast forward.  I think fast forwarding about 37 minutes is where the message starts.  A simple, but powerful message.

Let me know your thoughts!  Have a blessed day.

Lessons For This Mama

We are in a very unique season in life.  Brian was laid off and now works at home (he has work now, praise God), we have a family business that God is blessing and has the potential to go even further. (that takes vast amounts of my time) We still homeschool, two of our adult children live at home while attending college, and well, life!

I tell you all this to say that the Lord is really stretching our family on many levels.  Selfishness that could remain hidden in the past is now being exposed.  Lack of unity and lack of working as a team and sharing a common goal and purpose just isn’t working any more. 

Don’t get me wrong, there is and always has been some as semblance of the above things, but we are just being stretched and made to grow and choose and live differently.  Not so much for self, but for Christ and what He has for us right now.  Each of us are having to take on new tasks and new responsibilities to make this work.  Oh, and growing and stretching, it hurts, right? LOL

I have been reading a book with my sixteen year old daughter for the summer called, “The Family Daughter” by Sarah L. Bryant.  I’ll hold off a formal review as I can’t seem to get past chapter two without DEEP conviction!

Convictions on so many levels.  I don’t feel condemned or hopeless, but am choosing to recognize that God is showing me these things because He equips me to change and choose differently.  And nothing is ‘lost’ with Him.  I don’t need to look back with deep regret of what ‘could have been’ or ‘should have been’.  I look back and see where we missed it and humble myself before Him trusting Him to bring about the change.  Trusting Him to bring beauty out of ashes.  Trusting that His grace and love covers and redeems and restores.

I will leave you with a small snippet from the book that is convicting ME, even though it is intended for the daughter.  Ugh, I thought this was for her, not me.  Funny, she is light years ahead of me on some of this stuff.

“Our attitude as daughters has a great impact in our home.  If we maintain a cheerful attitude, it will promote a loving and peaceful atmosphere, but if we are discontent and unhappy, it certainly will not be a blessing in our father’s home.  We must strive to consistently radiate the love, peace, and compassion of the Lord Jesus, though circumstances around us change daily.  We, as believers, should trust in the unchanging Rock, and He is our eternal anchor.  (Ps. 61:2)  Because of this refuge, we can maintain serenity and composure through Christ, no matter what vicissitudes may assail us.  This unwavering attitude is a choice we face and a choice we must make. (pg. 39)

I didn’t bother changing the daughter stuff to wife/mama stuff, but you get it, I am sure.  Oh, it goes on and on, trust me.  I am sure this is hitting me right between the eyes as ‘emotions’ have always been a battle for me.  I think even more so with all the hormonal changes going on.  I have found myself giving into my emotions but expect my daughter to some how overcome them.  I have excused them and sometimes just been beaten down by them.  I have had greater victory over the years and even more so in the last couple of years, but I think we are going to another level here, the Lord and I.  How can I teach my daughter to have victory over them if I do not?  How do I teach ‘dying to self’ if I do not?

Trust me when I say this is a small snippet of the goodies I have gotten out of this book.  Victoria and I are enjoying it very much.  Actually, I am reading sections of inspiration to all of the children. 

I will share more conviction in a future post.  This is all I could take .

A Response to “Anonymous”

I received several “Anonymous” comments and I wanted to address one of them here.  This response is not solely for this particular commenter, but likely encompasses all of them.  You can read the posts and comments I am referring to here and here and here

1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

The heart is what God sees. Yes, be respectful in the way you dress (for example) but also respect those who may not be convicted the same way you are. Don't just assume what someone's heart is like based on their appearance.

I know what you are trying to say in your posts, but the line that you said in your first post about this comment saying, "if Jesus walked into any one of the many churches, even in my own city, His first thought might actually be, ‘wow, they are doing so awesome, look at all the hookers and prostitutes here.'" I cringed at this statement. First of all because it is wrong to even say what you THINK Jesus would say, secondly because going off of the verse above (1 Samuel 16:7) God looks at the heart not the outward appearance and thirdly because Jesus LOVED the prostitutes! He did not love their sin, but he LOVED them.
So just think about that. If our God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance, shouldn't we do the same?

Thank you for your response. I agree, that in my zealousness, to presume what Jesus might think is inappropriate. I am firmly convicted to not add anything to the Word of God and would not want be the one to presume to know what “Jesus would say or think”. That was not my intention. Perhaps it was sloppy zealousness.

I am not saying He would say that, nor am I saying that because they dress like prostitutes that they are indeed prostitutes. I was talking about appearances. Nor was I saying that their heart should be judged and that they are not loved, by Him or by us. They need teaching and correction, which is the subject of another post. Who should teach them???!!!  Perhaps us ‘older’ women??? Which, by the way, is sort of what this is!

. . . the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— ⁴ that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)

. . . in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, ¹⁰ but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Tim. 2:8-10)

I think my point is getting missed here. I am simply talking about common sense. It really doesn’t take an Einstein or some deep conviction to dress in an appropriate way. I am absolutely not talking about hair length, ‘dresses only’ or tattoos, etc. I am simply saying that it is not right, for the believer, to dress in such a way that exposes vast amounts of body (and likely causing others to stumble) in the name of fashion or freedom.

I am not judging someone’s heart by the way they dress. I am simply pointing out that immodest dress is inappropriate for the believer and it shouldn’t need some deep conviction to correct it. One look in the mirror and the question, ‘am I presenting myself in a way that represents a pure and holy God?’ is all it really takes.  Or, ‘Lord Jesus, You are LORD of my life, does the way I dress reflect You?’ Yes, that might look different for everyone, but again, skirts that expose upper thighs and tops that expose cleavage seem to cross that line. It is not that hard to figure out.

And absolutely yes, If our God looks at the heart and not the outward appearance, shouldn't we do the same. But here’s the rub. We live in a society that does indeed place high value on appearances and you simply cannot deny that the way one looks, dresses and behaves really does go a long way in expressing what may or may not be in there heart.

Again, I am not judging the person, I am simply pointing out the Truth. If I see someone rob a bank, I am going to tell them that stealing is wrong. If someone (a believer)  is dressed like a ‘hooker’, I think someone should tell them so,  and they actually should want to correct that. Not claim their heart is judged.  And, if one resists the correction, refusing to take it to the Lord and the Word, then yes, perhaps the heart is not exactly in the right place. 

I don’t know how to make it any clearer that just because sin is pointed out does not mean the person’s heart is being ‘judged’ nor the person pointing it out is somehow making some unloving and ungodly judgment of the person’s heart.  My point is really just to get the Church (including MYSELF!!) to stop and evaluate the way we act and dress and live our lives. 

I’ve Been There

So here’s the deal.  In the last two posts I shared some very grievous things that I see in the ‘Church’.  Some felt judged and criticized.  Others encouraged me strongly and thanked me for voicing their concern.

Why is it that when one proclaims the Truth and cries, ‘repent for the kingdom of God is at hand’, in essence, do many assume you to be heartless, cold and judging?

I suppose it never crossed the mind of some that it is from a heart of compassion that my heart cries out.  You see, I have been there.  I have been in that pit and I know the way out. 

I was the young girl wearing the mini-skirt and tank top, eyes all painted and heart looking to be loved.

I was the girl who filled her mind with evil only to have it come back to haunt and wreak havoc years later.

I was the girl, clueless to the holiness of the God I ‘claimed’ to love.

I was the girl who thought I had it all figured out and how dare YOU tell me what to do, what to wear and what to watch.

You see, it’s been a long, long road to wholeness, one I have not finished yet.  If you have read any of my posts you know that I believe in mercy and grace and love and have known each of these on a deep level.  That I am a woman who has been forgiven much, because there was MUCH to be forgiven.

Sometimes we need a gentle arm around us whispering the Truth.  Sometimes we just need a good old fashioned ‘spanking’.  I am pleading with you to examine your heart. Examine your life.  You judge your life and choices with the Word of God.  Don’t wait for HIM to do it, you judge it now.

. . .  Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you  (James 4:4-10) (better to read the whole context, but for space I shrunk it down)

Humble yourself under His mighty hand.  Don’t bristle against correction and stiffen your neck.  He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.  You see, He loves you with a crazy kind of love.  He forgives and restores.  Humble yourself before Him and ask Him if there is any area in need of His correcting and healing.  He is faithful.  Do it with an open heart and walk away changed and new and looking just a wee bit more like Him.  Trust me on this one.

My sons shared this story with me this past week as we have discussed these posts and the topic at hand.  The last line is my heart. 

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.

"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.

"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on

"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"

 

I Knew It Was Coming

I have found that the more you share Truth, the more you will be criticized and accused.  It is natural to defend and deflect when one’s choices come face to face with the Truth.  I understand this full well, it is my tendency too.

The biggest accusation is usually to be labeled as, “judgmental”.  Another is ‘legalistic’.  ‘Harsh’, “lacking ‘grace’” and many others.

I really appreciated what one of the commenters said in a comment on yesterday’s post.

“People have a problem with the Word of God, not me. The Word judges, and we can use it as a guideline.”

I appreciate this so much, because it really is not ‘me’ doing the judging, it is the Word of God.  Just because I spoke it, wrote or proclaimed it doesn’t mean ‘I’ am judging you.

Example:  A friend confides in me that she is having an affair and seems to be okay with it.  When I exhort and challenge her sharing that God’s word says that adultery is a sin and she should really evaluate her choices and repent, I am not ‘judging’ her, it is the Word that is Truth and the Word that judges her choices.  I’m just the messenger.

My definition of me judging her would be to think she is an awful person for doing what she does and because ‘I’ have never done that.  And to think that I am somehow superior to her because of her choices.  That’s sort of a ‘loose’ definition.

It is not ‘judging’ to believe (and share for that matter) that murder is wrong.

It is not ‘judging’ to believe (and share for that matter) that homosexuality is a sin.

It is not ‘judging’ to believe (and share for that matter) that adultery, stealing, lying, cheating . . . is a sin.

And, for the believer, the Christ follower, the set apart and chosen ones, it is not ‘judging’ to exhort and challenge them with the Truth that dressing immodestly, putting evil things before their eyes and living like the world is indeed a sin to a believer.

¹³ But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. ¹⁴ And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. ¹⁵ Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. (2 Thess. 3:13-16) Emphasis mine

Counting him as an enemy in my mind would be ‘judging’, but admonishing him as a brother is not.

¹⁴ Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. ¹⁵ See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. (1 Thess. 5:14-15)

²⁴ And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, ²⁵ not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

The following are scriptures (certainly not exhaustive) that go with my post from yesterday.

¹⁵ “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. ¹⁶ So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16)

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ⁹ The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), ¹⁰ finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. ¹¹ And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. ¹³ But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. ¹⁴ Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.” ¹⁵ See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, ¹⁶ redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (Eph. 5:8-16) Emphasis mine

Abstain from every form of evil. (1 Thess. 5:22)

While the Lord has given me a great passion for the Truth, He has not given me a great passion for confrontation and strife.  If you know me, you know my heart is to share the Truth, to encourage others to walk in that Truth.  You know  that I love deeply.  None of my posts, including yesterday’s is ever meant to judge, criticize or condemn a person.  Perhaps condemn their choices, but not them.  I have personally experienced the deep love, mercy and forgiveness of Christ for my wicked choices before knowing Him as well as after. 

My heart is NOT judging you, don’t shoot the messenger, okay?  I have found that when I hear the Truth and my first reaction is offence or feeling ‘judged’ that eventually I see there was actually something there I didn’t want to see at the time and wanted to excuse away.  It happened just last week while listening to a message on the Lordship of Christ.  I thought, come on, this old message.  Been there, done that, this doesn’t apply to me.  It wasn’t too many minutes later that the Lord began to reveal to me the areas that I really have refused His Lordship over.  I repented.

My point in my whole post yesterday was, take the areas that I mentioned and hold them up to the Word of God.  Not me, not my personal choices, but the Word of God. 

That’s all I’m sayin’

I’m So Done With Being a Christian

Perhaps I should clarify. I am so done with being grouped together with those who call themselves a “Christian”.  Allow me to explain.

I believe it is clear in scripture that ‘Christians’ are actually supposed to look different. We are, after all, ‘living epistles read by all men’ (2 Cor. 3:1-3) and we are to “represent’ our Lord.  People are supposed to ‘know us by our fruit’. The changes that are, or at least should be taking place on the inside should show up in our lives and the way we live them.  When the unsaved look at us and our lives, they should see a difference, not feel as though they are looking in a mirror.

I am not at all talking about putting on airs or only outward changes or some legalistic type of living.  If there are no ‘outward’ signs that you are different than the world, it might be beneficial to do some soul searching and find out if we are actually saved.  Praying a prayer and going to church on Sunday does not save us, nor is it evidence of true salvation.  Just sayin’.

I have been astounded in the last week or so to hear and see things that “Christians” find perfectly acceptable.  For instance, apparently “Christians” are reading a book called Fifty Shades of Grey en mass.  It’s porn, ladies! 

How about the Twilight series.  How in the world does one justify reading these and seeing the movies?  I dare you to find one scripture that says it would be okay to fill your mind with such filth.  Perhaps it our ‘freedom in Christ’, right?  'It’s only a movie or a book’, right?  ‘You are being so judgmental, what harm is there in it?’

The movies we “Christians” see.  I personally am ever convicted in this realm, so don’t think I am being all self-righteous here.  I too have seen movies I am ashamed to have seen and have repented. (even recently)  Do we really think that the admonition to think on things lovely, pure, vitreous, good and praise worthy doesn’t include the two hours we are stuffing popcorn in your mouth watching movies with evil spirits represented, adultery, magic, violence and more??  Have nothing to do with the deeds of darkness!  (Eph. 5:11)

Oh, and lest you think you are good girl because at least you don’t see rated R movies (which by the way, do you know how many “Christians’ see rated R movies??) the PG13 movies are not necessarily any better.  Let’s stop judging a movie by its rating and start asking,' ‘would I be comfortable sitting next to Jesus Christ, GOD incarnate, and watch this movie’?  I would challenge all of us, that if we do, we probably have no clue of the holiness of the God we are supposed to be serving.  Tough words, I know.  Again, I am not saying my behavior and choices are exempt here, I’m preaching to myself too.

One more subject that is stuck in my craw.  The way we “Christians” dress.  I will probably dive in deeper in another post, but come on!!!!  This might be harsh, but I had the thought the other day, if Jesus walked into any one of the many churches, even in my own city, His first thought might actually be, ‘wow, they are doing so awesome, look at all the hookers and prostitutes here.’  Thems is fightin’ words, I know.  But in the name of ‘freedom in Christ’ and fashion and harmless fun, do you really think it is okay to dress with skirts mid-thigh??  Cleavage showing??  Tight, form fitting clothes??  Not trying to offend anyone here, but my husband, nor my sons need to see the parts of your body that really should be enjoyed only by your husband!

Do we just throw out the verses that talk about modesty and being discreet because the fashion trend right now is trashy and sexy?  And why is this okay with the husbands and the fathers?  To see young girls with short shorts on with the words ‘delicious’ or ‘hot’ plastered across the back of her shorts.  I am not kidding when I say I have all I can do to not go up and grab her daddy by the collar.

Back to my point of what we ‘look’ like.  I know we aren’t supposed to judge on appearances and it’s ‘the heart that matters’ (insert finger into throat) but, sorry, we live in a very visual world and our behavior is being ‘judged’ by every single person who sees us.  Does our behavior and/or our choices represent the King of kings and Lord of lords?  Would our behavior (which often times represent our heart) get us spit out of the mouth of Jesus?

Revelation 3:15-16

“I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.

I heard recently in a message on this scripture and it was pointed out how when people look at and judge another’s life, Jesus would prefer the Church to either be cold or hot, because then it would be obvious to the unbeliever whether or not you are His.  When you are lukewarm, who can tell? Do we look more like Christ or more like the world?

So, at this point, I am not sure I am thrilled with being lumped into the “Christian” group.  If being a “Christian” means being ‘relevant’ (don’t get me started on this one) and doing what “I” want, acting, thinking, and talking like the ‘world’, I am not sure about being called a “Christian”.  Isn’t being a “Christian” being a ‘Christ follower’ anyway?!!

What really put me over the top this week was reading a review on “Christianity Today’s’ website of Snow White and the Huntsman.  I did not find it ironic at all that a magazine called “Christianity Today” (which apparently represents Christianity of today) found nothing wrong with this movie and in fact found it to be a pretty good movie.  WHAT??!  A magazine/website called “Christianity Today”, one the ‘Christians’ might turn to for a decent review on whether or not they should see this movie, gave it a good review.   Where is the admonition that this movie is FULL (actually rated extreme) in areas like, violence, scary/tense scenes, guns/weapons, disrespectful/bad attitudes.  Or, HEAVY in, alcohol, drugs, blood/gross stuff and sex/nudity to name a few!  How is this okay??  Sounds like a movie to sit and watch with Jesus, doesn’t it?

I guess this speaks volumes to what “Christianity” really is today, doesn’t it?  I am so not done yet with my ‘rant’, but I had to get some of it off my chest, it has been building all week. LOL  Please know that I am not exempting myself from this post.  I have been challenged in all these areas this past week.  I have done some repenting and some real soul searching myself.

AND, I am not ‘judging’ you or condemning you, just challenging you.  I hope to share some companion scripture with this post, just ran out of time.

My Heart Today

O God, thou are my God; early will I seek thee: my soul is so thirsty for You, my flesh longs for You.  I am tired and weary.  Not necessarily in a bad way.  I find even as I am Your vessel, being spent for You, I am tired, a bit weary.

Oh, Lord I have seen Your glory and Your power, I am in awe, that You would use me, us, to display just a bit of it.  Humbled to be Your servant.

As I look around and see all You are doing, and how I often fuss and fight, again, humbled, repentant.  Your loving-kindness is better than life, Lord.  It is better than life! 

Your love and handiwork is all around, woven in every single detail of my life.  As You open my eyes to see I am brought low.  How can this be?  Your loving-kindness overwhelms me.  I’m a fool, so often blind to Your goodness.

My lips shall praise You.  I will bless You while I live.  I will lift up my hands in Your name!  You alone can satisfy.  I shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips.

Oh God, when I think of You on my bed and in the night; the darkness, I remember how You have been my help.  My everything, really.  How do I forget?  Therefore I will hide in the shadow of Your wings and I will rejoice.  My soul follows hard after You.

Oh, the peace, the rest I find snuggled up under the shadow of Your wing.  I am a child, safe in her Papa’s embrace . . . just now, as I was typing, my door opened and in walked my Elijah, my baby.  He came for his morning snuggle.  He climbed on my lap like every other morning and melted right into me.  What a gift.  A perfect picture of what I feel like this morning, sitting in the arms of the One who loves me most . . . Yes, I am bawling

Just sharin’ my heart today.  May you know the Love and ‘care’ of Your Father this day.

On Bended Knee

Behold, the handmaiden of the Lord, be it unto me according to Your word. (Luke 1:38)

I am not sure if all the ‘ details’ of this struggle are Your will, but, these are my circumstance right now—I cannot change my circumstances, I have tried (in vain!)

All I can do is trust You.  Wait upon You.  Oh, I could fight and thrash and fuss and whine about it. (which I have, sadly)  Or, I could rest and trust and wait.

For, YOU,  Maker of the universe knows my name and has formed me for Your very own.  You hold my fragile heart, with all its wild passions and dreams in Your hands.  You love me with a deep and everlasting love. 

Your thoughts towards me are of peace and hope.  You do all things well.  ALL things. (period)  I was created for Your glory, show me how to best represent You in my circumstances.

A love so divine . . . demands my soul, my life, my all.

We all have secret dreams, hidden struggles or difficult circumstances, right?  I purposely didn’t share the specifics of my current ‘struggles’ because they really are irrelevant.  The answer is the same no matter the circumstances, the dreams surrendered, the struggle or pain. 

He loves us. Period

We were created for HIS glory, not our comfort or wants.  Period

There is but one position, on bended knee, bowing before our King, saying, ‘behold, the handmaiden of the Lord, be it unto me according to Your word.’

The enemy may roar, but this is, by far, the safest, most glorious place we could be.

Blessings,

Michelle

Two Years Ago, Today

Today marks the two year anniversary of the Lord healing and delivering me from Severe Adrenal Exhaustion and all its hideous symptoms!

I, once again, awoke with a smile on my face.  And I remember full well how surprised I was.

He has continued to turn my mourning into dancing.

When I read over all the physical aspects of my healing, I stand amazed.  I simply cannot believe where I am in life and the things I am able to do after being so sick for so long.

When I look back over how the Lord orchestrated our every step, I am so humbled and in awe.

It was most definitely a slow fade, lies of the enemy building over the years that I believed.  BUT GOD!

I came across this video last week and was stunned at the power and truth in it.  It is a bit strong, but the message is one of strength.  I weep every time I see it.  I feel like this song/skit could be my testimony, perhaps change out a few of the temptations, but the deliverance that the Lord has done was spot on.  I  believe He does this for all of us, it just might not be as dramatic as some. 

Two years ago today, it was nothing short of dramatic.  This woman is on her knees thanking her Savior! Praise Him with me?