Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Nothing Is Too Hard For Him

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is there anything too difficult for Me?”
Struck by this verse this morning. What have you tucked away as too difficult for the Lord to change? Or wonder if He ever will answer those prayers?
Or, maybe, you feel it is 'your fault' anyway, your poor choices, it's understandable that He would not change things. After all, you deserve what you are getting.
Ladies, He is our MERCIFUL and POWERFUL God and Father!! I dare you to do a search on the mercy of God sometime. You will be overwhelmed with how merciful He is. Nothing, nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing and no one is beyond His reach. His arm is not too short to change your situation. He is merciful and compassionate!
I'm praying for some mighty big things, how about you? I know it might be uncomfortable to share what you are praying for, but let's at least pray together that God would move mountains, heal marriages, save children, heal broken hearts, deliver mightily and quickly. You don't have to name your prayer request, just comment, 'I'm in' and I'll take that as a sign you are praying and believing for big and 'impossible' things, and we will join together in prayer today!!

Monday, October 5, 2015

Sweet Little Gift

I interrupt this 'not supposed to be on the computer in the morning' to bring to you something so very dear and precious. Today is our first day of school this year and this is what I find on my quiet time table this morning. I know, overwhelmed, that's what I am. Overwhelmed.

He is so faithful and His grace covers!

Sunday, October 4, 2015


I don't think I can even begin to put into words what these past two weeks have been like. The Lord has and continues to do a deep work. I had NO idea how badly I needed this time and the things He has done in my heart. I knew something wasn't 'right', but the depth, I did not know. I don't want it to end. I don't want to lose sight of all He has been showing me. I keep it close and keep going over it, not wanting to let it out of my sight. You see, I know me. I have had times like this, but then life goes on and much of it falls by the wayside. I am praying and believing this not be the case. I want to get up from this spot a permanently changed woman! I am trusting He will complete that which He started. I've also put boundaries and safeguards up where needed.
I was reading this scripture today and it SO speaks to where I am and have been. I've been complacent, distracted, lethargic, 'busy' with much, but accomplishing little. Asleep, that's what I've been feel this was a serious wake up call and I do not want to be lulled asleep again! The way I spend my time, my days, my prayer life, my devotional life, all of it, I am living on purpose now. LIVING on purpose. Read this 'warning'. It's no joke, ladies. Our marriages, our children's lives, our own hearts, relationships, this world around us, we have a huge part to play and the enemy wants us 'sleeping' on the job. WAKE UP!!!
Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, And Christ will shine upon you and give you light.
Therefore see that you WALK CAREFULLY [living life with honor, PURPOSE, and COURAGE]
not as the unwise, but as wise [SENSIBLE, INTELLIGENT, DISCERNING PEOPLE]
MAKING THE VERY MOST OF YOUR TIME [on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence], because the days are FILLED WITH EVIL.
Therefore do not be foolish and thoughtless, but understand and firmly grasp what the will of the Lord is. (my emphasis added, sorry)
I just don't know how to read that and not be convicted to my very core! Time is precious and short and fleeting.
Am I being who I was created to be?
Am I making the most of my time?
How much time do I waste on frivolous things while my children's souls are in danger?
Or my marriage and husband?
Or lonely people needing the love of God?
Am I the woman of prayer I desire to be?
Is my heart on fire for God and His Word?
Am I seeking first the kingdom of God or the kingdom of Michelle?
When given a free moment or I am lonely, or afraid or sad, do I turn to God or a way of 'escape'?
There's no guilt and shame being slung here, just some real honest questions I have been asked these past few weeks. When the Holy Spirit comes in with His scalpel, it hurts, for sure, but there is no guilt or shame, just a humbling and softening of the heart and a desire to repent and change. True conviction and repentance is a beautiful and loving thing. I have been LOVED by my Father these past few weeks, trust me.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015


Think of some nagging issues in your husband or marriage. You know, the ones that have been there for years and never seem to change. You have prayed before, maybe you still do. Or maybe you have sort of given up. It just never seems to change. He never seems to change. You've possibly lost hope, even though you hesitate to admit that.
Maybe it is your children, or a particular child. Perhaps finances, a relationship. Something longstanding that you have all but given up in your heart the hope of ever seeing it change.
I'll ask you what I questioned to myself. Do I believe in the power of prayer, or not? Really? Do I? Maybe I really don't. Do I believe God can come in and radically change the situation? Do I even believe He would?
If I am not fervently, unceasingly, consistently crying out to God for my husband and marriage, who is? Am I so foolish to think the enemy pays no attention to a husband or marriage not covered in prayer? Foolish enough to think things will just change on their own?
I am not trying to heap guilt or place a burden on our shoulders that was not meant to be there. I know there is much more to this than just our prayers. Our husband's spiritual well being and our marriages do not depend entirely upon us and how much we pray. BUT, we do have a role to play here.
Our husband's carry a great mantle and responsibility before God as the head of our families. Until recently, it hadn't hit me as to just how great it is. And who is specifically and strategically praying for him? Not a, 'thank you for Brian, bless the work of his hands, yawn, help him to be a good daddy . . . yawn, amen.'
No, fervent, effectual, interceding, heaven storming prayers on his behalf. Praying scripture over his life. Crying out to God for very specific areas of his life.
So, I ask again. If I am not doing this, who is?? Do I really believe in the power of prayer? In the power of God to radically heal and deliver? Enough to stop giving it 'lip-service'? Enough to change my lifestyle and choices so I can pray effectively? Am I living a life of integrity, by living according to my beliefs and convictions? I told you, SOBERING.
Tomorrow starts a new month. And while I am feeling a bit undone and overwhelmed with what God is doing in me. Pruning is never painless, you know. Of all the things He is calling me to or changing, I have got to make this a priority. It's got to start with our husband's and marriages, doesn't it? And lest you think this is just for struggling marriages or jerky husbands, it is not! Our marriage is great and my husband is not a jerk.  I am just deeply convicted that I have NOT been praying for that man in the way I should be. And just because our marriage is great, does NOT mean the enemy is not waiting right around the corner waiting to pounce.
I am thinking of issuing a little (huge??) challenge to you married ladies. Praying everyday for the next month for your husband strategically, fervently and passionately. What do you think? I won't make you report in. I will not necessarily be posting daily about it, but all of us joining hands, so to speak and encouraging one another to pray for our man!! I can post the list of topics in the Power of a Praying Wife book. Also, I know if you search for a list of things to pray for your husband, you will come up with lots of options if you need a springboard. Or, take some time today and make your own list of things you'd like to pray for. Or, just pick a scripture prayer from Ephesians or Colossians and pray it for him for the next month. Don't complicate it.
One more thing. If you are angry and bitter towards your husband, and honestly, he just might be that 'jerk' I mentioned. I ask you to take your heart to God, repent, forgive as Christ forgave you, even though he doesn't deserve it. If nothing else, you will be free. And honestly, I believe our merciful God even honors prayers through gritted teeth. And maybe you could spend the month on your own heart, praying for your heart to be softened even though years of neglect or abuse have hardened it. I don't know, just a suggestion. (my heart aches for you, dear one, in this situation, I know there are many)
Share your thoughts, please.

Friday, September 25, 2015

What I Truly Long For

Here is what I scribbled down on a piece of scrap paper, in no particular order. It took me all of one minute to have this list fall out of me. I had forgotten what my beliefs and desires were.

BE A WOMAN OF PRAYER: yes, I pray and have prayed, but I do not take the time to be the woman of prayer I really desire to be.

PRAY FOR MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN: again, of course I pray for them, but as fervently and unceasingly as I desire?? I think not. I let ‘life’ (and I think you know what I mean by ‘life’) use me, drain me and I give myself to so many urgent things, while the very important things get pushed the side.

KEEPING AND RUNNING MY HOME WELL! This one hit me square in the eyes, as HELLO, my original blog is actually called, She Looketh Well, to what? The ways of her household. Are we doing fine, absolutely, BUT, am I managing and running this home as I once desired and long to do. It is crazy, but one of the things that feeds my soul is scouring out the kitchen sink. I love doing things like this, but am so BUSY. Yes, I scoured the kitchen sink the other day and cleaned out and organized two cabinets. Felt good, felt like I was living who I am.

MODELING GODLY WOMANHOOD TO MY DAUGHTERS, and sons, for that matter: is a mama who is always distracted, always busy, always chasing knowledge, always saying, just a minute, what I want to model. When God showed me this, I was convicted over and over again of all the areas I am NOT modeling what I want to these kids. I am not saying I don’t do lots of really good things, but He is gently showing me the areas that seriously need to be kicked up a notch.

MEDITATE ON THE WORD ‘DAY AND NIGHT’: how I used to study His word like a crazy woman! Yes, I still read His word, yes, I still see and hear Him leading, but I have lost my first ‘true love’ for Him and His word. For several years now it has been dry and forced. He is always and forever ‘there’, but my heart is so full of distractions, the things of this word, the flame is barely a flicker. This is not who I am, but who I have allowed myself to become.

KEEP A CALM AND UNDISTURBED MIND: I was convicted of this YEARS ago. A calm and undisturbed mind is life and health to the flesh. I have allowed the calm and undisturbed to be drained from me. No longer do I sit quietly, not chasing, not doing, not multitasking, not learning something new. No longer do I read books. Creativity is a struggle because I have given so much of my energy and peace away to the things of this world. I used to love to read books. Love to just puts, organizing something, making something in my home pretty, lighting a candle and feeling the breeze. Nope, on a treadmill to nowhere and someone keeps turning the speed up.

I loved this quote.”I have accomplished much, but lived little.” So true of my life these past few years.

BE PRESENT AND ‘AVAILABLE’: I don’t need to say much about this, but I can assure you, I am NOT, NOT, NOT present most of the time. My mind is always on half a dozen things, or checking my phone, or skimming articles as if there were some deadline. I do NOT want my kids to grow up with a picture of their mama, head down on the phone or computer all the time. Oh, I excuse it away, multi-tasking, nobody does it better than me! Or being ‘productive’, not wasting time, making the most of the time. UGH, sure, I was doing all those, but for the WRONG purpose!! I was making the most of my time so I could learn more, do more, be more . . . all except to be more PRESENT for my husband, children.

TRAIN MY CHILDREN ON PURPOSE, not by happenstance or on the defensive. Again, not like I don’t deal with situations and my kids are awesome, sinners, but awesome. But I have lost sight of the great calling to train and disciple them. I deal with things as the come, most of the time, though, shamefully, I let way more go than I probably should. Not in the name of grace, but because it is easier and so much ‘less fun’ than what I am doing in the moment. I don’t purpose to train them like I used to.

There you have it, a bold confession. Letting you peer right into my sinful heart. The really cool thing, as the Lord shows me this, I don’t feel the least bit of condemnation. I know I am a good mama and wife and homemaker, I just think He is taking me up a level, cleaning up much of my sloppiness and neglect. He doesn’t do this because He is mad at me and, man-O-mister, am I such a failure. Nope, He knows who He created me to be, what brings me greatest joy and fulfillment, and He is gently leading me back to who I am. I am so thankful!! So humbled by His mercy. But I do know this will not be easy and will cost a lot. But I am ready. I am sick of the old way. I want out. I want free. I want to live, truly LIVE!! I want to be the true me. I want to live a life of integrity, meaning living a life according to my beliefs and convictions. And girls, there are something that seriously need to go!!

Lord willing, more later. What are your goals and convictions? Are you living them? You don't have to share here if you don't want to, just giving you something to think about. Thanks for 'listening' it was good to get it out.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Tough Questions

Ladies!!! I can hardly contain all the Lord is showing me during this “sabbatical”, if you will. (don’t know what else to call it)

There is no way to share all of it, but I so wish I could. Sweet, sweet conviction each day, actually many times a day. He is showing me things, answering the longings of my heart for a few years now and more! It is not easy and will NOT be easy to make the changes He is calling me too, but, I know He is faithful to complete what He has started, so I take my restless, crazy, get-r-done mind and calm it with this truth. I am the type of person to write it all down and fear I will forget it, not do it, or whatever. Mostly, because that is what has happened in the past. ‘Life’ gets in the way, I lament. But I cannot go around this mountain again. These thoughts and verses hit home.

‘As a dog returns to his vomit . . . ‘

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results’

“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

Sheesh, these alone are enough to make me stand up and take notice. Is there any areas in your life where you are just so sick of? Areas that NEVER seem to change? Relationships? Your marriage?

Areas where you have prayed and prayed and nothing seems to change? Or, maybe, you haven’t even prayed anymore, because, ‘why bother, nothing changes anyway’.

Maybe it’s time to do something different! Maybe you can’t change the situations, but you change you or how you handle it or how you are living.

A few questions the Lord has asked me.

What are my goals, priorities, dreams for my life and family?

What is hindering these from happening?

Does the way I am living really match my beliefs and convictions?

Like an arrow to my heart! He began to show me area after area where I am NOT living up to my beliefs and convictions. I cried out to Him and asked Him what WERE my beliefs and convictions? I couldn’t even think of what they were for a few days. That’s how much distraction and ‘life’ has taken over. I was trying to figure out who I am, but all along I was forgetting who I am. I know that might not make sense, but it does to me. Deep down, I know who I am, but I was not living it! That is not a life of integrity.

Finally, yesterday, in a flood of thoughts, I began to write down what my ‘beliefs, convictions, and desires’ were. I had almost forgotten!! I’ll share next time.

I challenge you to ask yourself the above questions. Be prepared and forewarned.

Monday, September 14, 2015

What Am I Filled Up With?

A few of the verses I have been reading of late and some tough questions I have asked myself.

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful, (Psalm 1:1)

Where do I stand in the path of sinners and sit in the seat of scorners? The Lord has revealed a few areas where I have spent my time with 'sinners and scorners' and I have no influence on them, so why do I stay? I have since changed this.

The wise woman builds her house
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. (Pr. 14:1)

This one stung as He showed me the areas where I was actually tearing down my 'house'. Little areas and behavior that I hadn't even realized the ramifications.

. . . but the prudent man looketh well to his going AND She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

VERY convicting once I thought about it for a nano-second.

. . . My word hath no place in you . . . (John 8:37)

But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

My heart is 'right' with God. I do so love Him and His word. BUT, have I filled my heart and mind up with so much 'stuff' that there is no room, no place for His word in my heart and life? It's not that I don't 'want' to be in His word more, it's just that I am so filled up with other things, there just seems to be no room for Him. They may be very , very good things, but are they if they take the place of Him?

Some of the women I work on nutrition with will tell me, I have no room for the protein I am supposed to eat. I always ask them what they are eating that is taking up the room that protein should rightfully have. We usually find something they are eating instead. Same goes for any healthy food. If you are filled up with junk, or even 'less than optimal' food choices, you will never have room for the good stuff. OR, "I just can't eat in the morning." Really? Try skipping dinner a few nights, I bet you begin to wake up hungry.  I hope you see my analogy. When we are so filled up with other things there is no room for Him. I am reevaluating many 'things' in my life at the moment.
Just some random verses that are speaking to me at the moment.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Return to Him

Do you feel a 'distance' between you and your Father? Feeling a bit 'lost'? Things don't quite seem like they used to? Have you been busy, distracted, chasing and running? Feeling a bit 'spent' and long to hear His voice, sense His presence, see His hand? Yeah, me too.
I have felt this way off and on for a long, long time. I'm not saying like I have strayed from Him and never see His hand or hear His voice, just sort of a longing for more. The last couple of weeks I feel like I have been quietly crying out to Him here and there, knowing my own heart is so prone to wander. Asking Him to 'allure me to wilderness', to 'speak tenderly' to me. To cause my heart to burn with hunger for His word. To make me want to read His word. To pull my grimy hands off this 'world' and open them up to receive from Him. I wondered if He could just reach down and grab my head and turn it towards Him, as it seemed impossible to do on my own.
Can you relate to any of this? Is it just me? I just wanted to encourage you, though He tarry, wait for Him!! Because, ladies, when He 'shows up' (I know He never leaves, it's us how wander, you know what I mean) it's all over but the shouting!!
He is infinitely patient and loving and kind and merciful with us. He hears our cries, He really, really hears them!! Trust that He does. Wait for Him.
A few verses that I just can't stop meditating on. I read them over and over and they just keep washing over me, washing away so much and filling me with so much. Part of me wants to go and add my 'commentary' so you really, really get it. But I will let the Holy Spirit do that.  I challenge you, if you can relate to what I wrote above, see if this ministers to your heart in any way. Isaiah 30:15-26
Much love and prayers for where you are today!! He is faithful, you can rest in Him.
For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. But you would not,
16 And you said, No! We will speed [our own course] on horses! Therefore you will speed [in flight from your enemies]! You said, We will ride upon swift steeds [doing our own way]! Therefore will they who pursue you be swift, [so swift that]
17 One thousand of you will flee at the threat of one of them; at the threat of five you will flee till you are left like a beacon or a flagpole on the top of a mountain, and like a signal on a hill.
18 And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!
19 O people who dwell in Zion at Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you.
20 And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself any more, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher.
21 And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.
22 Then you will defile your carved images overlaid with silver and your molten images plated with gold; you will cast them away as a filthy bloodstained cloth, and you will say to them, Be gone!
23 Then will He give you rain for the seed with which you sow the soil, and bread grain from the produce of the ground, and it will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will feed in large pastures.
24 The oxen likewise and the young donkeys that till the ground will eat savory and salted fodder, which has been winnowed with shovel and with fork.
25 And upon every high mountain and upon every high hill there will be brooks and streams of water in the day of the great slaughter [the day of the Lord], when the towers fall [and all His enemies are destroyed].
26 Moreover, the light of the moon will be like the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, like the light of seven days [concentrated in one], in the day that the Lord binds up the hurt of His people, and heals their wound [inflicted by Him because of their sins].

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Hello Forty-nine!

HELLO EVERYONE!!!! I MISS YOU!!! I hope you enjoy this.
Well, Hello Forty-nine!
Dear, dear Forty-nine. It is so very nice to meet you. I really had no idea you would be here so soon. And if I am being honest, I thought you would feel much older. Years ago I thought of 49 as ‘so old’. You think those things in your 20s and 30s. Can I let you in on one more secret? When I was younger, I was a little bit afraid of you. Even though we are meeting for the very first time today, it feels as if know you.
What you mean to me, ‘Forty-nine’
Becoming ‘Forty-nine’ has been one of the hardest things I have done. You see, it took 48 years to get here, no small feat! You see and experience a lot if 48 years.
There were turbulent and terrifying years during most of the first half of those years. So much confusion and pain. Being lost and alone. Chasing after anything to fill the empty void. Those first two decades left me scarred, broken and honestly, seemingly ruined for life.
Things started to look up. I met and married this amazing man who loved me like no other. We began our life together. I thought to myself, what could possibly be better than this? All my ‘dreams’ have come true. Yes, definitely all ‘pie in the sky’ youth.
But something even more wonderful happened to me. I met Jesus! Oh, might seem small to some or cliché, but let me assure you IT IS NOT! To be known and loved by Him. To know Him! Nothing can compare. He came and washed my heart clean. He healed and continues to heal my broken heart, to mend all the wounds and scars. I am almost positive I would have never met you, Forty-nine, if not for Him. That life, once in a heap, destined for ‘ruined’ status for all of eternity has been redeemed! It is now destined to spend eternity with the King of kings!
Oh, and Forty-nine, you know it didn’t end there, don’t you. While Jesus has walked by my side, there has been so much joy and good, more than anyone deserves, I am sure of it. I have experienced great and deep love and intimacy with this man of mine. Together we have experienced the birth and raising of nine eternal, gifted and amazing children! I know, right, NINE! So you see why I feel so blessed and humbled that I get to meet you. It is a gift, all of it!! And don’t you ever question why I need a nap, just re-read the above paragraph and give a woman a break.
Forty-nine, while there was great and indescribable joy, there has been pain and heartache. You know, though, don’t you? While we are so honored to have nine here, our hearts ached and grieved over the six we have in heaven. The ‘years from hell’, that’s what I call them, those ten years of darkness. When things were turned upside down, we faced devastation and fear. We experienced things it would seem no mortal should. I’m thinking of changing the name, by the way, from ‘years from hell’ to the ‘years He was there’ (YAHWEH-SHAMMAH- The Lord is there) Because He was, you know, He was there, through it all with us.
Oh, Forty-nine, so much in such a short amount of time! There was a time when I was so sick. Sick and in bed, unable to be the wife and mama God created me to be. Talk about terrifying and hopeless. Then, came glorious healing and deliverance. The story is long and beautiful, perhaps another time.
And now, these last few years, becoming even more ‘me’, the ‘me’ He created from the beginning of time. Always imperfect, but growing more and more into His image. These years of learning more and more the value and importance of this time we have here. Learning it’s okay to have fun, to laugh, to be silly. Learning ‘ain’t nobody got time’ for that kind of negativity, those people who the enemy of our soul uses to seek to destroy you with their drama. Learning and discerning his lying voice and walking away from his lies. Learning to LIVE, to really live! Learning that ‘every little thing is going to be alright’.
You see Forty-nine, we, just now are really starting to live! I wouldn’t change a thing. I would not, for a million dollars go back to being ‘young’. Nope, I love you, Forty-nine! You are SO awesome and we are going to get along just fine. I am looking forward to meeting Fifty, though, but only after you and I have given it our ‘all’ together. Only after we love a bunch more people, share what we have learned, cry, laugh and chase those things the Lord has prepared for us.
Welcome, Forty-nine, SO VERY GLAD to meet you!!

Friday, March 27, 2015

I Get to Choose!

So, here's the deal. I get to choose. When the enemy comes in like a flood, with thoughts, frustration, anger, 'just-want-to-choke' that person, (sorry, did I just type that??) I really do get to choose. Yes, the feelings and emotions are strong, the hurt runs deep.

Last night, when I was feeling myself start to go down that road, the thought popped into my mind, "you are above this, you don't need to wrestle down 'here' in the flesh, this is not where you live, this is not your position." I was quickly able to agree and fall sweetly asleep, release the desire to retaliate, make my point, chew the same old cud, over and over.

I wake up this morning, you guessed it, same thoughts, feelings and emotions come flooding back. I remember one of my ALL time favorite verses. (it means so much to me on so many levels)

A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. (Pr. 14:30)

Do I want life and health? Immediately following that thought,

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. (Pr. 4:23)

So, Michelle, keep and guard your heart, above all that you guard, guard YOUR HEART. I get to choose what my heart meditates on, I must choose wisely!

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:1-3)

I (we) are seated with Christ, far above this earthly and fleshly mess we see around us. I must choose. I must guard my heart and thoughts. Getting caught up the 'junk' down here is the worst use of my time and energy. I have things to do, people to love (especially this one in particular, though it almost pains me to say it and I have to stop my eyes from rolling back in my head as I type, but it is true!)

I am here for HIM, for His glory, to further HIS kingdom. It's not about me and my little feelings being hurt, it is about HIM. For I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Gal. 2:20)

Shake it off, ladies!! Don't wrestle around in the much down here, rise above it!! His grace is sufficient!! It is just a temptation from the enemy to waste precious time, destroy your health and ruin your day! No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor. 10:13)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Does the Darkness Surround You?

Reading through Lamentations three, I am reminding of a very long and dark period in my life. So long. About 10 years. And oh, so dark. I remember, vividly reading through Lamentations three at many points during that time. One in particular, I can almost see where I was, what I was wearing and most definitely can feel what I was feeling.

I knew in my heart that God was not ‘causing’ this darkness, these horrendous situations. I knew it was the enemy, circumstances, my sinful choices, other’s sinful choices. I knew God does not ‘cause’ bad in our live. Perhaps He allows, but never causes. Definitely uses the darkness to ultimately bring glory to Him.

I remember weeping as I read. I could literally feel every emotion and description the writer of Lamentations described. The darkness was palpable, I couldn’t escape it. I felt the heavy chains, the hedged in feeling, unable to get free. I knew what the Word said about Him hearing my prayers, but it was as if I could scream at the top of my lungs and it wouldn’t be heard. The attacks from the enemy, the shame, the fear. I wondered if there would EVER be anything different than this hell we were living.

I can relate to verse 18, my strength and my hope is perished. Quite literally, my strength had perished. I am not talking just emotional and spiritual strength, that was long gone. No, physically, all strength was gone. It culminated with a complete collapse. Bedridden, no strength to push through the darkness anymore. I was strong and had pushed long and hard, but physically, it was gone. I had no more. Even walking to the bathroom seemed insurmountable. All hope of ever seeing the light again had vanished, or so it seemed.

The bitterness I felt toward God began to grow. I know, as a good little Christian girl we are not be angry with God or bitter towards Him. And honestly, I didn’t even know that I was at the time. I should have seen it, the thoughts the enemy planted and I grabbed hold of. ‘Why did you let this happen’? ‘I trusted You with this womb! Is this how you reward me?’ ‘How could you let this happen to our family?’ ‘Where are you?!” ‘If you really loved me, You would answer.’ These are not the half of it, I assure you. Oh, I pushed them down, these thoughts, these accusations. I pretended they weren’t there, I hid them instead of repenting of them. I am not saying that God is not big enough to take our fears and doubts and the little girl tantrums, the beating of our fists on His chest as we can’t take the devastation any longer. No, He can. He knows we are but dust and He scoops us up. I’m talking about a root of bitterness that you may not even know is growing deep in the heart. I didn’t know until much later that it was there.

But deep, deep inside me, there was a tiny, miniscule flicker of disbelief. I just could not believe that this was it. I could not believe that God was not going to, somehow, rescue me out of this. I couldn’t figure out how, I had exhausted any ideas I had. I had given Him so much time, yet still nothing.

But God! He did deliver. He did heal. He did answer prayers. He does hear. He never leaves us. He never forsakes. I don’t care what it feels like or what it seems like, HE NEVER LEAVES US. In that darkness, we have no clue what He is doing. In that darkness, we are all but sure He has left us alone. In that darkness, fear and doubt and accusation and bitterness seek to worm their way in. Be on the lookout for them. Take them captive, those lying thoughts. Be like the writer of Lamentations, ‘But this I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.’

You know the truth! It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is His faithfulness! Your ‘night’ might feel so long and unending, but morning really does come and His mercies really are new every morning.

I’m not sure what you are going through, what kind of darkness surrounds you this day, this year, this decade, but let me be the one calling from the other side of the darkness. I’m reaching my hand out to you and shouting, ‘hang on, sister, His mercies are new every morning. Morning will come. I promise, but don’t take my word for it, take His! The Lord is your portion, hope in Him’

Sunday, February 22, 2015

His Incredible Faithfulness

Exactly 14 years ago, I gave birth to this precious gift. Sarah Grace was actually the fulfillment to a promise God had given me one year earlier.

You see, February of 2000 was the second February in a row that I had lost a baby at 17 weeks. Both losses were traumatic, but the second one, even more so. How can this happen twice, in a row, exactly the same amount of weeks, the same time of year? To say that my faith in God was challenged during that loss would be a gross understatement. I'll save the details for another time, but during that trying time, while I was carrying my dead baby, still in my womb, God healed my heart. I will never forget the morning, it was Valentine's Day, Brian had made me a fire in the morning. He pushed a chair in front of the hearth, made my tea and set me before the Lord. In part, I think, because he didn't know what to do for me anymore, the grief and heartache was hard for him to see in me, especially because there was nothing he could do to make it better. Besides, he was working through his own grief.

That morning, my Father met me in a way He had never done so in the past. Scripture after scripture ministered to my heart. I wept with deep sobs. His Word washed over me again and again. By the time I was finished with my quiet time, the pain was gone. My heart was healed. Later that morning I sat down at the computer to type all that I had read and experienced that morning. While doing so, I felt in my heart, the Lord say, 'you will have another child'. I was terrified to believe it. Surely it was just my mind playing tricks on me or the enemy tormenting me, I said, 'really, God, is that You or just me?' I heard it again in my heart, 'you will have another child.' I tucked that away, deep in my heart.

As I mentioned, I was still carrying the body of my baby, who was in heaven. This is a very difficult thing to do. I still looked pregnant, people still thought I was pregnant and commented. Finally, eight days later, it was time to go deliver this baby. We had waited, hoping it would happen naturally, but my doctor was concerned and didn't want to wait any longer.

I will share the incredible beauty of that experience at another time, but on February 22, 2000, I delivered a perfectly formed, and oh so teeny little boy, we name Ephraim, meaning fruitful, God will make you fruitful.

Fast forward to February of 2001, I was pregnant and due on Valentine's day. That day came and went. I, of course thought that would be the coolest day to have my baby, the day God promised me I would have another child. I began to get anxious and frustrated, as pregnant women can past their due date. Finally, on February 22nd, I delivered our sweet Sarah Grace (God has promised Sarah that she would have a child) I had totally forgotten when we delivered Ephraim. Weeks after Sarah Grace's birth, I stumbled on some hospital papers and the date February 22 popped off the page. I realized that even though I was impatient for our Sarah Grace to be born, God had her birth date planned long ago. One year, from the day I delivered Ephraim, our Sarah Grace was born.

Our God is so incredibly faithful and true. His Word and love is a healing balm for our broken hearts. Today I rejoice in the gift of my Sarah Grace. She is funny and VERY tender hearted. God has gifted her with the ability to memorize vast amounts of scripture. She is beautiful and graceful and feminine. She is incredibly gifted on the piano and has taught herself how to paint with water color. She leaves encouraging notes, tells me how proud she is of me and how much I inspire her. Really, sweet Sarah Grace??? You have no idea how much YOU inspire me. I love you, my sweet.


sarah grace


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Dear Husband . . .

I almost always share my heart with women, that is my ministry. But today, I have the men on my heart. Not to chastise them, not to tell them what to do, but to encourage them, from a woman’s perspective. Ladies, if you feel safe in doing so, feel free to share this with your husband.

Dear Husband,

You may not know me, but your wife does. I have asked her to bring this to you to read, please don’t feel ganged up on. I thought it might help you to see something from an outside perspective. No one is accusing you or telling you ‘you are doing it wrong’. I want to encourage you, in the meekest of ways, what YOUR love does for your wife. To encourage you to love her with the love of Christ. You probably already know it is your ‘duty’ your ‘calling’, your scriptural mandate, but here is a picture of what you love can do. Happy Valentine’s Day, Husband. I know your role is the most difficult role, we appreciate you!!!

couples hands love

When a man loves a woman . . . maybe you know the how the song goes. It’s one that is on our playlist of romantic songs. You know, for special date nights where we dance in the candlelight. I am continually in awe of how much this man loves this woman. I can assure you, he is far from perfect, and he would tell you too. But he loves me. He lays down his life for me. He listens to me. He encourages me. He picks me up when I am down. He supports my crazy ideas. He tells me ‘no’ when he should be telling me no. He believes I am beautiful and tells me so. He loves to spend time with me. He loves ‘us’. He cherishes me. He pampers me. He loves me in my imperfectness. He sees in me what I do not see.

What happens ‘when a man loves a woman’? I’d like to rewrite that song. If I had a musical bone in my body I would. But here’s what I know.

When a man loves a woman, her confidence grows.

When a man loves a woman, she begins to love herself.

When a man loves a woman she sees a little glimpse of how much her Jesus loves her.

When a man loves a woman, she feels safe and secure.

When a man loves a woman, she blossoms into who she was created to be.

When a man loves a woman, she sees beauty in herself.

When a man loves a woman, her heart heals more and more each day.

When a man loves a woman, no matter what comes her way, she can handle it because he loves her.

When a man loves a woman, he might not know it, but he is loving her whole.

What a beautiful opportunity you men have. To be the hands and heart of your Savior to your wife. May God bless you and equip you. May YOU know the healing love of Jesus in your heart as well. We thank you and commend you for all you do!!

Sincerely yours,

A LOVED wife

swans love

Friday, February 6, 2015

When You Want To Run Away

Do you ever feel like you just want to run away? Like, if you could just get away from this circumstance, or that one, all would be fine? Yeah, me too.{sigh} But here is what I quickly realized. No matter where I could run, "I" would still be there. I have this a lot. I feel like God is saying, oh, you could run away, but sweet Michelle, YOU will still be there. The struggles you are dealing with are not so much outside circumstances, but are heart issues.

I'm reminded, once again . . .

that His grace is always sufficient
that He is ALWAYS with me
that He loves me with an ever-lasting love
that I am safe under the shadow of His wings
that He ALWAYS leads me in triumph
that NOTHING can separate me from His love
that He hears my cry
that He answers the cry of my heart
that He is my help and my shield
that the Lord is on my side
that He is my refuge and strength
that the Lord of hosts is with me

I am reminded that discouragement, despair, hopelessness, fear, doubt, feeling 'ugly' inside, self hatred, insecurity, jealousy, bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment, anxiety, joylessness, lost-ness, unrest, turmoil, discord, agitation, rejection, obsession, drivenness, pushed, unhappy, unloved, feeling unimportant, irrelevant, worthless, bound, broken-hearted, heavy-hearted . . .

NONE of these are apparel fit for or heart conditions or mind-controlling thoughts for a Daughter of God. They are ALL from the father of lies. Every-single-one of them are from the enemy. We get to choose, walk in them today, or not. They only have the power over us that we let them. This is a hard one for me to swallow, 'yeah, but' rises up in my heart, but I know it is true, WE CAN CHOOSE.

Father, helps us to discern YOUR voice today and that of the enemy. Thank you that You lead us in victory, that You paid for our freedom, that You love us, have chosen us, have made us holy and blameless in YOUR sight. Helps us to see that our 'feelings' are just that, feelings. We can take them captive just like we can take our thoughts captive. I pray, Father, that You would be the lifter of our heads and hearts today, and that You would open our eyes to the true beauty You surround us with. Strengthen us, O Lord, to walk in Truth today. In Jesus name!


Sunday, February 1, 2015

He is Your Anchor


Not sure what you might be going through today, but NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ! Those voices in your head, the ones spewing lies of despair and hopelessness, yeah, those. Read this out loud, right now, and watch them flee. I'm not kidding, right now, OUR LOUD, so all of hell can hear the Words of Truth!

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Not sure what you might be going through today, but NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ! Those voices in your head, the ones spewing lies of despair and hopelessness, yeah, those. Read this out loud, right now, and watch them flee. I'm not kidding, right now, OUR LOUD, so all of hell can hear the Words of Truth!<br /><br />What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?<br /><br />He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?<br /><br />Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.<br /><br />Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.<br /><br />Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?<br /><br />As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.<br /><br />Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.<br /><br />For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,<br /><br />Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

What If . . . ?


What if it is already done?

What if you really just love me?

What if I don’t need to flounder and question my path or journey?

What if I knew you were, all along, leading me by the hand out of my Egypt?

What if I knew that You don’t see me the way that I do?

What if I knew that you are merciful to my unrighteousness and that those sins I see and struggle with, well, what if I knew You don’t remember them?what if

What if I knew that your love was already written into my mind and heart?

That I don’t need to wrestle and try so hard to know it, but that it is already there.

What if I knew when discouragement and confusion sweeps over me that it’s not You and that I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just a scheme of the enemy?

What if I knew I don’t actually need to listen to it, be affected by it or panic. And wonder what I need to change. What if I just rested under the shadow of your wings? Safe and secure.

What if I knew it was lie and not some default in me? That I am Chosen, Hand -Picked by You. That I am Holy, and Blameless before you. And that above all I am Dearly Loved.

What if I knew I could just step out from under his lies and not be swallowed up by them?

What if I just go about my day and not have to try so hard to do better, but know right here, right now, I am loved and safe and all is well. I can smile. I can just breathe. And be okay.

Friday, January 16, 2015

You Are Chosen

In the last post, Jesus Knew, Do You, we talked about how Jesus knew who He was and how He was able to face what was before Him because of it.

Therefore, as those who have been chosen by God, holy and dearly loved . . . Colossians 3:12

Knowing who we are how very loved we are is what enables us to live in freedom from the lies of the enemy. It heals us from the dreaded syndrome I call, the ‘Do More, Be Better, Try Harder Syndrome’.

The above text says that we are Chosen, Holy an Dearly Loved.

Let’s delve into, “chosen” today. Do you really comprehend what that means? That means God picked you. He didn’t get stuck with you, He picked you.

I picture myself at the roller rink on Friday night. The dreaded ‘boys choice’ skate was called. I couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough and found myself standing against the wall with all the other girls. The trauma of watching the boys skate by, passing me. Around again. Maybe picking the girl next to me, but passing me by. Over and over again, I was not picked. Rejection stings, doesn’t it? Maybe you have been passed over or ‘not picked’ in your lifetime and you can still feel the pain. Doesn’t being ‘not picked’ make you feel unworthy? Unlovable, in some way? Like there is something wrong with you?

Guess what. God’s word assures us that He picked us! We are chosen by Him. Does it matter if the pimple-faced geeky boy on skates picked me when the God of the universe, the lover and creator of all things beautiful picked me??? No, not when you really let that truth go deep. I’d be rejected a thousand times to be picked by Him just once!

I used what seems like a trite example of ‘not being picked’, but you know as well as I do that rejection and circumstances that would cause one to feel unworthy and unloved comes in many sizes and colors. They can be seemingly silly things to deep, traumatic and abusive situations. We often put on our ‘brave’ face and say, well, that wasn’t ‘that’ big of a deal, or stuff it down. But in reality, the wound is still there and the enemy of our souls only makes it go deeper, until we are so trained to think we are unworthy, unlovable, awkward, definitely one to be ‘not picked’ because we ‘know’, really know, deep down just how awful we are.

Do you recognize the lies? Pause for a moment and see if the Holy Spirit would bring to your mind some of the lies you have believed that keep you bound and wounded.  Anything, whatsoever, that comes to your mind that does not line up with scripture is a lie!  Take those thoughts out for a moment and examine them. Do they fit with the following? I have placed my own emphasis on these verses, can’t help myself. Winking smile I encourage you to meditate on these. Turn them into your own words, what I like to call ‘My Beliefs’

“just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will” Ephesians 1:4-5

"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day John 6:44

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesian 2:10

But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 1 Peter 2:9

"You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. John 15:16

"All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out. John 6:37

"For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for His own possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth Deuteronomy 7:6

"For you are a holy people to the LORD your God, and the LORD has chosen you to be a people for His own possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. Deuteronomy 14:2

But we should always give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth – 2 Thessalonians 2:13

An example of ‘My Beliefs’ might be,

Thank You, Father, that from the very beginning YOU have chosen me for salvation. You love me and chose me. Picked me. I am ‘pickable’


If you have any hope of being free from the lies and really living in the freedom Christ paid for, you are going to need to put some effort in it. Meditate on the truth. Take the lies captive.  It’s worth it, I promise!

Next time, Holy.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Jesus Knew, Do You?

I was struck by a phrase in the Gospel of John, chapter 13:3.

Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God’.

Jesus knowing. It popped off the page to me. Jesus knew who He was, what His purpose was, how much He was loved by the Father and He could face, even the unthinkable, because He knew this.

In my own walk and my experience in ministering to women, I think the foundational ‘flaw’, if you will, that we all have is a lack of knowing who we truly are. Without this foundation we are prone to the many lies of the enemy as to our value and purpose. Self-hatred, self-doubt, fear, doubts, unbelief, anxiety, self-rejection, so much of this stems from feelings of unworthiness.

We all know, ‘Jesus loves me, this I know’. But stop for a second, do you really know? I mean, know to your very core? One of my favorite scriptures that God has used to bring such healing to me in this area is, Colossians 3:12.

Therefore, as those who have been chosen by God, holy and dearly loved . . .

Stop right there! Three little words ministered to my heart for the better part of a year and still do whenever I see them.

Chosen, Holy, Loved.

Ask my children, they will tell you these three words will go with me until the day I die.

I am going to delve into each word, Chosen, Holy, Loved, in subsequent posts. I don’t want to rush through them. For today, meditate on this scripture.



I pray, Father, that You would give us a revelation of how loved we are and that healing, wholeness and restoration was paid for by the blood of Your Son. Free us to walk in this healing in a greater way, day by day. I pray, also, that we would be able to recognize the lies we have believed about who we are and that our Father would give us a beautiful, full picture of who we are and how incredibly valuable and loved we are.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

He Weeps With Us

When it is hard to believe ‘this will not end in death’ . . . He is there with you, and He will be glorified.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Has the Enemy Come Knocking Yet?

If you are going to make it to the end of this year with your dreams, goals and hopes still intact, you may just have to fight for your sanity along the way.

Usually, when you are a willing participant, there’s not much you can do to thwart God’s plan for you. Obviously, lack of obedience, fear, and things like that can get in the way or delay things a bit, but that is beyond the scope of this post.

I’m talking about when you are already a bit shaky in your dream or new goals. I mean, you know it’s from God, but you also know YOU. You’ve been here before, you have a history for messing things up, or so you think. So you’re shaky. You’re doing your best to get grounded and rooted in these new ‘digs’.

Be on the lookout for fear and doubt, ugly little demons that they are. It doesn’t take much. Oftentimes they come riding on the back of comparison. You know, you see someone else whose ‘dream’ (life) seems so much nobler than yours. Or perhaps, man, they sure are living their dream. It seems so effortless for them. I mean, you can barely stand up and they are running with theirs.

I don’t know about you, but oftentimes for me, it can take little more than a NANA-second, for me to be heaped in a pile under loads of fear and doubt. Seconds, and it is an all-out ‘crumble, tumble and tremble.

I’m giving you this warning so you know it is coming, or, maybe it already has. I know it has for me. Only took nine days. Nine days into the new year! But here is what is super cool. I recognized it immediately. God, in His great mercy, gave me quick discernment.

You know how sometimes, if the back door gets left open just a teensy tiny crack, somehow the cat’s radar goes off and she just quietly pushes through the door? Often times you may have to chase her around the house, under the table and behind the couch and by the time you get her you are all tuckered out? Is this just me? Not this time. I saw her immediately and caught her before she made it past the back hallway.



I suppose the best case scenario would be for the door to never get left open. But, if it does, best to be ready with a plan and act immediately.

I began to see those thoughts come in.  I saw them for what they were, lies. I took them captive, after telling Brian, of course. Who proceeded to say, ‘woman, why are you even talking that trash, just stop and get them out of here and speak the truth.’ Such a practical guy. Isn’t it just like a woman to need to ‘talk about it’?

It all seemed so surreal and I felt like God was training me. I sensed in my spirit I was somehow getting a ‘do-over’, a chance to start from the beginning and get strong. Kind of like working out. You start with the basics and progress as you grow in strength. You see, God size dreams don’t come without a fight. Our enemy will fight tooth and nail to keep us from God’s best for us, and try to stop us from reaching others with His love!!


Be ready!!

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Put on the whole armor of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Has the enemy come in and tried to rob you of your hope for this season of your life? Pick yourself up, cry out for discernment and kick the devil to the curb! Maybe you are ‘holding your own’ (or, being held). Well, praise God for is mercy and keeping power! I’d love to hear what you might be going through and lift you in prayer. Some of you have done so privately and that is so fine. Either here in the comments, or always feel free to message me. Go forth in the strength of the Lord this week!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Rise Up and Walk

Let me start off by asking, am I the only one who wrestles with God? Questions, sometimes to ad nauseam, what He might be saying to me? I really wonder if He occasionally does a 'face palm' when I go on and on trying to understand, rather than just trusting.

I am so enjoying reading through the Gospel of John. Today I was stuck in chapter five. The man healed at the pool Bethesda. The story is familiar, but today, I felt it was speaking right to my heart.

Jesus shows up and asks the man, ‘Wilt thou be made whole?’  I immediately sat upright when I read that. Wilt thou be made whole? Do you really want to be made whole? Do you really want to be free from these struggles? Of course the man wanted to be made whole, right? I mean, he had an infirmity for a very long time, thirty-eight years!  I want to be whole too, right? Do I? Do you? If I am going to be made whole, I am going to have to choose it, let go of what I am holding on to, believe Him.

The man answered that he had no one to put him in the pool. I argue, but I don’t understand. Perhaps if I look here or there. Try this or that, then, maybe, I will be made whole, free from this struggle.

Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”  And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.

Pretty straightforward, don’t you think? Simply rise up and walk!

Um, but . . . the questions begin to rattle around. But again, I hear,  ‘Rise up and walk!’ 

A few verses down, after the man was questioned by the authority, Jesus finds him again. I LOVE this!! Is that not a picture of a merciful God? He came back to him, He could have slipped away, but He came back to tell the man, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.

Thou art made whole. Say it with me. I am made whole. The peace washed over me this morning. I have wrestled and fought. I have gripped it so tightly that I could barely open my hands, for they had been clenched closed for so long.

The scriptures say immediately he was made whole, took up his mat and walked. I wonder, though, did he wobble a bit as he walked. Probably not, Jesus had healed him. But honestly, I am feeling a bit wobbly, shaky in the knees with this new found freedom and wholeness.  I’ll keep this scripture close, to remind me, because I am sure that enemy, you know the one who roams around like a lion, the one seeking to devour, will come prowling. Old lies will need to be replaced with the truth. I am made whole. I will Rise up and WALK


Will you? What are you holding on to? What are you wrestling with God over? Do you want to be made whole? Do you want to be free from the battle?  Come on, let’s do this together. I promise, my faith is shaky-wobbly faith, but it is faith. We can do this!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Are You Planning to Fail?


If I hope to even come close to my goals for this year, I need to do my part. I trust God will bring about the impossible, but I must make choices daily that reflect my goals, dreams and visions for my year, and my life, really. I am keenly aware that my times are not in my own hands and that it is the Lord that directs my steps. I know “If the Lord will, we shall live and do this or that.” (James 4:15)

Yet I also know I must do my part; I must follow where He leads. I must “Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure”. (Prov. 4:26)

It will mean choosing wisdom or the flesh, choosing to move when I want to sit, choosing to turn off the computer when escaping draws me away, choosing to study and work when I’d rather fritter my time away, to serve when I’d rather hide. One can dream and plan, but one must also ‘put feet’ to those dreams.

Have you ‘put feet’ to you goals? It is easy to say I will read my Bible more or exercise this year, but without a plan the dust accumulates on your Bible and your bum gets softer!

Are you willing to share how you have ‘put feet’ to your goals?

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Prov. 29:18)

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin

Reading Through John (Ch. 1-3)

I am participating in a wonderful online bible study over at She Reads Truth. I plan to share just a few snippets from each chapter here, every few days.

In reading an overview of the gospel of John and in chapter 6:66, “many disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him” Jesus asked His disciples if they would turn away too. I LOVED Peter’s response, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.’

My heart skips a beat as I remember a few extremely difficult times in the past when I wanted to run, I couldn’t take it anymore, it seemed. This road was so hard and so long. I remember coming to the exact conclusion that Peter did. Where else would I go? Jesus is the Living Word! He is the Christ, the living God! What other journey would I tread? With whom else would I go?

Just recently, the ‘journey’ in a particular area has seemed so very long and hard, the one He has chosen. Again, faced with the question, what are my options? My own way or His glorious plan. I choose HIM! His way! Mine is foolish and simple and self-focused.

John 1

v. 8. He was not the Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light!

v. 14 Jesus, full of grace and truth . . .

v.50 . . . thou shalt see greater things than these.

Father, as I look over the past year, I am I awe of what You have done and it is with great hope and expectancy that I look towards the new year! I say, Yes! Yes, Lord to all You have in store for me. Let me bear witness of Your Light to all I come in contact with. Here at home, in the hearts of my husband and children and in every single person I come across. Open my yes to see past the exterior into the deep of their heart that needs the Light of Jesus!

I come with open arms and hands, I say, YES, Lord, YES! I am Yours. A living epistle!

Freedom from all that holds me bound? Yes, Lord!

To loving the unlovely? Yes, Lord!

Speaking grace and truth? Yes, Lord!

All that You have, Lord, Yes!

John 2

What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:11

How gracious are you, Father, to understand we are but dust, and oftentimes it isn't until we see Your glory that we"believe" on You. We believe, help our unbelief. Give us eyes to see your manifest glory everywhere! And give us grace to believe in You, whether we see or not!

John 3

v. 29 . . . rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice.

Oh, Lord, how greatly it rejoices my heart to hear your voice!

He’s Waiting For You

How You are always here, no matter how far I wander and no matter how long. You are always here. Rich in mercy, great in love.

Guilt would try to drown me, for my failures and weaknesses. The constant ‘distraction’ of life I succumb too. The blatant choice I make of this world over Your word, of busyness of life over sitting with You. What do I get when I come to my senses? Love and mercy. They wash over me, no matter how undeserving I feel. You are here. Emmanuel, ‘God with us.’ (Matthew 1:23)

I sense in my spirit, acceptance and peace. No condemnation, no chastising, only love. The truth that I am chosen, holy and dearly loved echoes through my heart. (Col. 3:12) I’ll never do it ‘good enough’, ever, but his doesn’t change Your love for me.

You never, EVER, turn away from me. Ever! It is I who am prone to wander. You are steadfast. You are faithful and true to Your word an character. I find rest and peace in You. I breath in, I breath out. There is no place safer, more beautiful, more peaceful, more complete, than under the shadow of Your wings. With each breathe, life fills me. Joy and peace flow through my whole being. You are all I need. Once again, the Prince of Peace reigns in my heart.

I’m not sure where you are today. In that place of basking in His glory or hiding in shame. If it is the latter, come out into the light! He is here, waiting for you with nothing but love and acceptance! You are His child, He longs to be with you. He loves you with an everlasting love. (Jer. 31:3)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

My “Word” For 2015

My word for the New Year has been rattling around in my heart for almost two weeks now. It thrilled me, but felt so ‘unspiritual’. I know, silly. I kept asking God confirm it and kept suggesting more spiritual words, all to no avail. Nothing fit right. So here goes my heart this day.

Those dreams you have? You know, those ones tucked away in the back? Yeah, those. You have been afraid to dream. Life has been hard and you have been hurt. You have seen your dreams shattered in a million pieces. Years and years of hoping you’d see them come true. Your heart has become hard—you are so afraid to dream. You didn’t even realize it until now, but you don’t dream anymore. I’m not saying you don’t have a beautiful life and feel very blessed. I am talking about beyond all that, way in the corner of your heart. There are dreams and hopes you have that have long since been pushed back. These dreams? They seem impossible to achieve. Like they will never happen. You have tried to make them happen. You have prayed for God to bring them about. Years of clenched fists, tears streaming down your face that is turned towards heaven. I know. I really know.

Here is what I want you to know. He knows your dreams. He loves you in the craziest most amazing way! Maybe your dream needs refining. Maybe you aren’t ready for it. But I want to encourage you and challenge you to dare to dream! Dare to trust His love and goodness again. Let this be the year you reach way back in your heart, blow the dust off those dreams, and dream again.

I can’t promise you that they will all come true this coming year, but I can assure you that you will come alive in new ways if you just dare to dream. Would you like to join me this year? Dare to step out and trust Him with your dreams? You see, with men, this dream is impossible, but with God, ALL things are possible!

Take His hand, trust Him again. Let’s do this together, let’s chase our dreams this year!

Dream 2