Sunday, February 22, 2015

His Incredible Faithfulness

Exactly 14 years ago, I gave birth to this precious gift. Sarah Grace was actually the fulfillment to a promise God had given me one year earlier.

You see, February of 2000 was the second February in a row that I had lost a baby at 17 weeks. Both losses were traumatic, but the second one, even more so. How can this happen twice, in a row, exactly the same amount of weeks, the same time of year? To say that my faith in God was challenged during that loss would be a gross understatement. I'll save the details for another time, but during that trying time, while I was carrying my dead baby, still in my womb, God healed my heart. I will never forget the morning, it was Valentine's Day, Brian had made me a fire in the morning. He pushed a chair in front of the hearth, made my tea and set me before the Lord. In part, I think, because he didn't know what to do for me anymore, the grief and heartache was hard for him to see in me, especially because there was nothing he could do to make it better. Besides, he was working through his own grief.

That morning, my Father met me in a way He had never done so in the past. Scripture after scripture ministered to my heart. I wept with deep sobs. His Word washed over me again and again. By the time I was finished with my quiet time, the pain was gone. My heart was healed. Later that morning I sat down at the computer to type all that I had read and experienced that morning. While doing so, I felt in my heart, the Lord say, 'you will have another child'. I was terrified to believe it. Surely it was just my mind playing tricks on me or the enemy tormenting me, I said, 'really, God, is that You or just me?' I heard it again in my heart, 'you will have another child.' I tucked that away, deep in my heart.

As I mentioned, I was still carrying the body of my baby, who was in heaven. This is a very difficult thing to do. I still looked pregnant, people still thought I was pregnant and commented. Finally, eight days later, it was time to go deliver this baby. We had waited, hoping it would happen naturally, but my doctor was concerned and didn't want to wait any longer.

I will share the incredible beauty of that experience at another time, but on February 22, 2000, I delivered a perfectly formed, and oh so teeny little boy, we name Ephraim, meaning fruitful, God will make you fruitful.

Fast forward to February of 2001, I was pregnant and due on Valentine's day. That day came and went. I, of course thought that would be the coolest day to have my baby, the day God promised me I would have another child. I began to get anxious and frustrated, as pregnant women can past their due date. Finally, on February 22nd, I delivered our sweet Sarah Grace (God has promised Sarah that she would have a child) I had totally forgotten when we delivered Ephraim. Weeks after Sarah Grace's birth, I stumbled on some hospital papers and the date February 22 popped off the page. I realized that even though I was impatient for our Sarah Grace to be born, God had her birth date planned long ago. One year, from the day I delivered Ephraim, our Sarah Grace was born.

Our God is so incredibly faithful and true. His Word and love is a healing balm for our broken hearts. Today I rejoice in the gift of my Sarah Grace. She is funny and VERY tender hearted. God has gifted her with the ability to memorize vast amounts of scripture. She is beautiful and graceful and feminine. She is incredibly gifted on the piano and has taught herself how to paint with water color. She leaves encouraging notes, tells me how proud she is of me and how much I inspire her. Really, sweet Sarah Grace??? You have no idea how much YOU inspire me. I love you, my sweet.


sarah grace


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