I don't think I can even begin to put into words what these past two weeks have been like. The Lord has and continues to do a deep work. I had NO idea how badly I needed this time and the things He has done in my heart. I knew something wasn't 'right', but the depth, I did not know. I don't want it to end. I don't want to lose sight of all He has been showing me. I keep it close and keep going over it, not wanting to let it out of my sight. You see, I know me. I have had times like this, but then life goes on and much of it falls by the wayside. I am praying and believing this not be the case. I want to get up from this spot a permanently changed woman! I am trusting He will complete that which He started. I've also put boundaries and safeguards up where needed.
I was reading this scripture today and it SO speaks to where I am and have been. I've been complacent, distracted, lethargic, 'busy' with much, but accomplishing little. Asleep, that's what I've been feel this was a serious wake up call and I do not want to be lulled asleep again! The way I spend my time, my days, my prayer life, my devotional life, all of it, I am living on purpose now. LIVING on purpose. Read this 'warning'. It's no joke, ladies. Our marriages, our children's lives, our own hearts, relationships, this world around us, we have a huge part to play and the enemy wants us 'sleeping' on the job. WAKE UP!!!
Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, And Christ will shine upon you and give you light.
Therefore see that you WALK CAREFULLY [living life with honor, PURPOSE, and COURAGE]
not as the unwise, but as wise [SENSIBLE, INTELLIGENT, DISCERNING PEOPLE]
MAKING THE VERY MOST OF YOUR TIME [on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence], because the days are FILLED WITH EVIL.
Therefore do not be foolish and thoughtless, but understand and firmly grasp what the will of the Lord is. (my emphasis added, sorry)
I just don't know how to read that and not be convicted to my very core! Time is precious and short and fleeting.
Am I being who I was created to be?
Am I making the most of my time?
How much time do I waste on frivolous things while my children's souls are in danger?
Or my marriage and husband?
Or lonely people needing the love of God?
Am I the woman of prayer I desire to be?
Is my heart on fire for God and His Word?
Am I seeking first the kingdom of God or the kingdom of Michelle?
When given a free moment or I am lonely, or afraid or sad, do I turn to God or a way of 'escape'?
There's no guilt and shame being slung here, just some real honest questions I have been asked these past few weeks. When the Holy Spirit comes in with His scalpel, it hurts, for sure, but there is no guilt or shame, just a humbling and softening of the heart and a desire to repent and change. True conviction and repentance is a beautiful and loving thing. I have been LOVED by my Father these past few weeks, trust me.