So, here's the deal. I get to choose. When the enemy comes in like a flood, with thoughts, frustration, anger, 'just-want-to-choke' that person, (sorry, did I just type that??) I really do get to choose. Yes, the feelings and emotions are strong, the hurt runs deep.
Last night, when I was feeling myself start to go down that road, the thought popped into my mind, "you are above this, you don't need to wrestle down 'here' in the flesh, this is not where you live, this is not your position." I was quickly able to agree and fall sweetly asleep, release the desire to retaliate, make my point, chew the same old cud, over and over.
I wake up this morning, you guessed it, same thoughts, feelings and emotions come flooding back. I remember one of my ALL time favorite verses. (it means so much to me on so many levels)
A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones. (Pr. 14:30)
Do I want life and health? Immediately following that thought,
Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. (Pr. 4:23)
So, Michelle, keep and guard your heart, above all that you guard, guard YOUR HEART. I get to choose what my heart meditates on, I must choose wisely!
If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:1-3)
I (we) are seated with Christ, far above this earthly and fleshly mess we see around us. I must choose. I must guard my heart and thoughts. Getting caught up the 'junk' down here is the worst use of my time and energy. I have things to do, people to love (especially this one in particular, though it almost pains me to say it and I have to stop my eyes from rolling back in my head as I type, but it is true!)
I am here for HIM, for His glory, to further HIS kingdom. It's not about me and my little feelings being hurt, it is about HIM. For I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Gal. 2:20)
Shake it off, ladies!! Don't wrestle around in the much down here, rise above it!! His grace is sufficient!! It is just a temptation from the enemy to waste precious time, destroy your health and ruin your day! No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor. 10:13)