Tuesday, October 23, 2012

What Are Your Struggles Right Now?

I personally have too many to mention, post over.  Just kidding.  I am talking about a struggle or two that happens to be to the forefront right now.

For me, it is keeping out of what I call ‘ the dark place’.  I seem to get there by one, or maybe two roads.  I’ll try to sum them up, but you will see how they overlap and intertwine.

1.  Losing my joy, translated depression or oppression.  Defined as, feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps; a sense of being weighed down in body or mind.

2. Stressed and Overwhelmed, defined as, bury or drown beneath a huge mass, To defeat completely and decisively.

When I am in one, or both, of these places I am ‘not me’.  That is how Brian and I describe it.  I am happy, energetic, vibrant, excited, thankful, joyful, bubbly (sometimes annoyingly so, like after 10:00 pm) When I come out of the dark I just can’t believe how good it feels to feel ‘like me’ again.

I am learning a lot about how and why I get there.  I sometimes get confused because often times it is cyclical, which clearly means hormonal.  I have been praying for discernment and I feel the Lord is slowly opening my eyes to the how/when/why of the whole mess.

I have had two very big to me, victories in the past week.  One night I was tying up lots of loose ends with business, emails, posts and scheduling classes and sales.  I was tired.  (first red flag)  I started to get very panicky and an overwhelmed feeling.  I was able to recognize it and instead pushing through and HAVING to figure it out, I was able to just stop and cast it onto the Lord.  Trusting Him to work it out. I simply let it go.  (very new behavior for me)

By morning, it was abundantly clear I was barking up a few trees I wasn’t supposed to.  I dropped it and peace returned.  It was lovely!  Ahhh, peace.

The other one was just yesterday.  I had started to have my feelings hurt a bit on Sunday over a few things and had begun to withdraw.  By Monday morning I was already feeling pretty sad, unhappy, down in the dumps.  Not necessarily over my hurt feelings, but just withdrawn and sad. 

I was able to recognize the pull of that ‘dark place’ (it really does feel like it is pulling me into it) and cry out to God to ‘keep me as the apple of His eye.’  And that I needed Him to be the ‘lifter of my head’.  I ran to Him, the Rock that is higher than I.

Do you know that I was my happy, bubbly, frisky self all day?!  He did it!  He kept me.  I didn’t have to fight some huge battle all by myself.  I just had to submit to Him, resist the devil (and the darkness) and the devil (and the darkness) had to flee! 

Last night I shared with Brian how I was slipping into the dark place in the morning (a slight look of panic in his eyes, it is just as hard on him as it is me when I am there) and how God had delivered me.  He was a bit surprised because you would have never known I was headed that way by the way the day went.

So thankful for the discernment to see it BEFORE it happens, because, man, when you are in it, so much harder to get out of it.

What about you?  What are your struggles right now?  Are you getting some victory?


cooperkelly4 said...

We are doing well for the most part, but honestly we have been in a spiritual warfare with our kids. =( Just being as diligent and as consistent as we can be and believing (beyond what we see) for God' to bear fruit in their lives. I just keep confessing, "train up a child and when he is OLD he will not depart from it."
"old" actually means "aged." I really want to see fruit immediately and not later, but we have always held our children with an open hand, as in they are in our care for a season and ultimately they are the Lord's. Praying for grace to respond in every circumstance the Jesus would. ♥

Coby said...

I'm really excited to have been in a place of victory over panic attacks and anxiety for the last couple of months. REALLY excited! A couple of weeks ago I felt it starting to sneak up on me again, but the great news is that the Lord helped me recognize the thought and behavior pattern I was slipping into; I repented, my husband prayed for me, and I can't tell you how good if feels to feel "normal." I literally feel different even in my physical body. I think the correct term is "at peace." :-) I love what you said about instead of pushing through and having to figure it out, just stopping and casting it onto the Lord. I'm getting better at this. :-)