We have been through some very, very difficult things in life. As all of us probably have or will. I read this October 21 entry in My Utmost For His Highest the other day and I really, really think this is one of the hardest things. For me, anyway.
Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he “followed Him at a distance” on dry land (Mark 14:54). We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.
Man o mister! This is right where we are at right now. We are really struggling with relationships within our own four walls. We are being cleansed, purified and tried. Can I just confess that I am not faring so well.
It’s one of those times that you almost wish you could vomit yourself out. Know what I mean? I feel like Ann summed it up when she said, ‘I’ll never stop being a grace beggar, a wild cross clinger’
I am choosing (at least trying) to consider it all joy, cast my cares, keep my mind stayed on Him, give thanks in all things. But sometimes crying feels like the best option. Thankful today is a new day with new mercies.