Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
I am pleased with you. I love you. Yes, I see the darkness inside your heart. Of course, I see the weakness, the sin. But, I do not recoil in shock or disgust. Lift up your head and you will see my arms of love ready to receive and embrace, and a heart ready to forgive.
I shine My light on your heart not so I can see, but so that you can. Not to shame or condemn, but to give you opportunity to choose Me. To choose Light. To choose Love. Lift up your head and choose Me.
Ladies, do you know of Your heavenly Father's love and pleasure towards you? Do you know He smiles and rejoices over you? He sings over you! Do you often feel beaten down when He gives you a glimpse of your heart? I assure you, it is not His voice you are hearing if you feel this way. He is love. He longs to be gracious and merciful. He loves to restore, and He never condemns.
The Lord has been doing some major cleansing and purifying of my heart and I can assure you just one short year ago I would have been buried in condemnation. I had listened to a spirit of accusation for so many years I thought it was me! Now I welcome His light. I love when I read another thing in the Word that shows me where I am not obeying. I love Him and want to obey Him with all my heart. I want to know where I am missing the mark. I don't feel condemned. I agree with Him humbly and repent and ask Him to help me be more like Him. That's it. No days of wallowing in guilt and shame. Guilt and shame are from our enemy! I know His heart towards me (though I seek even deeper revelations of His love towards me) I know He loves me. I now recognize the voice of the enemy who comes in to accuse and brings guilt and shame.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
“Ha, I dare you to find joy ‘here’ in this mess.” I can almost see him motioning as he sweeps his hand across my days. I almost hear the taunting with each passing emotion . . . wait, it’s a challenge! Can I find joy amidst ‘this’ mess?
Yes! An emphatic YES! I will contend for joy! I will contend for giving thanks, for praise!
I choose to rejoice and be glad in this day. I choose JOY! I will enter into His presence with thanksgiving and joy.
Why does the enemy fight so hard to keep us from joy, from thanksgiving? Well, for one thing, he hates us. (smile) Maybe, in part, it is because it has to do with what You were showing me last week. The joy of the Lord is my strength. In Your presence is the fullness of joy. I enter Your presence with thanksgiving and praise.
Where am I the strongest? In Your presence.
When am I the strongest? When I am rejoicing.
How do I get there? By thanksgiving and praise.
I see, Father, why of all the ‘basics’, (prayer, meditation, reading the Word, etc.) that rejoicing, giving thanks seems to be the biggest battle right now.
I choose to contend for this one. I am choosing, this day, to serve You with gladness~to find joy~ to give thanks~to praise.
Open my eyes, O Lord, to see that when the battle is the most intense I need to sing, to praise, to thank. Give grace, I pray, to obey . . . R.E.J.O.I.C.E. A.L.W.A.Y.S. and I.N. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. G.I.V.E. T.H.A.N.K.S!
I contend for joy!
Monday, November 22, 2010
I am thrilled with this No-Knead Sourdough method! I have been trying all kinds of variations! I also have been making delicious sourdough English Muffins. I first read about it on my friend Cindy's blog who originally got the recipe from Gnowlfglins.
In the last four days I have made 24 English Muffins, Cranberry Pecan Extraordinaire, Seeded Sour, Sourdough Rye, Sourdough (regular), Cinnamon Raisin, Steel Cut Oats sourdough and 100% Whole Wheat Sourdough! I know, crazy, isn't it?
They are all beautiful artisan style breads. Ridiculously impressive, if I do say so myself. Super crusty on the outside, tender on the inside. Needless to say we have had bread with many of our meals.
Seeded Sour (Sourdough English Muffins rising in the background ;-)
Here is the inside of the Cranberry Pecan
Sourdough English Muffins
For eight servings
½ cup starter
1 cup liquid (water, milk, yogurt, ect.)
2 cup flour (whole wheat)
1 T. raw honey
1 t. sea salt
1 t. baking soda
For 16 servings
1 cup starter
2 cup liquid (water, milk, yogurt, ect.)
4 cup flour (whole wheat)
2 T. raw honey
2 t. sea salt
2 t. baking soda
For 24 servings
2 cup starter
4 cup liquid (water, milk, yogurt, ect.)
8 cup flour (whole wheat)
4 T. raw honey
4 t. sea salt
4 t. baking soda
Mix together ingredients, and cover, let sit overnight or up to 24 hours. I put in dehydrator on low for about 7 hours.
After the proofing, sprinkle salt, baking soda and honey. Use a wooden spoon to mix in. Pour olive oil onto counter and begin to knead with oiled hands for 2-3 minutes. The purpose of the kneading is to incorporate the ingredients.
Cut into 8/16/24 pieces. It should be pretty wet. Gently shape into rounds and place on cornmeal coated board to rest. I use flour and/or cornmeal to keep them from sticking to my hands. About 1 inch thick and 2 ½ inches in diameter. Cover with cloth for 1 hour.
Preheat cast iron to medium. Transfer to pan gently. Cook for around 5 minutes and then flip over and cook for five more minutes. You can bake in oven for a few minutes at 350 if you feel it needs to cook more.
English Muffins rising/resting before cooking.
I don't worry about shaping them perfectly, obviously ;-)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
During a time of prayer and repentance I read the following scripture.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. (1 John 2:15-17)
I had fallen head first in this particular area. I bought it hook, line and sinker. You see it was something that I had longed after for many years, when I finally 'got' this gift, I did not handle it very well. I see now that He trusted me with what I thought I wanted most and was so sure I would glorify Him in it. Sadly, I did not. I am praying for a do-over, but in the mean time, I have repented and hope and pray that if I get another chance, I will this time be found faithful.
Another thing that spoke to me from this verse is 'if any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.' In light of searching for areas to 'whittle' out of my life to make room for Him this spoke volumes to me. The more of the 'world' that I have in my heart, the less I have of my Father's love.
If I want to be filled up with Him, His love, I am going to have to make some room. When He comes knocking on the 'inn' of my heart will I respond with a 'sorry, no room here?' I need to actively pursue ways to 'make room for Him' (How To Increase Hunger For God)
Below is a video called, My Jesus. It is quite convicting and extremely relevant to what the Lord has been speaking to our hearts. I had to assure my family that I really don't go looking for things like this to make my point, the Lord brings them to me. ;-)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I thought, of course, that it would come in one giant dramatic swoop. But the Lord is merciful and slowly and steadily leads us, preparing our hearts for each new step.
I am beginning to really, really dislike some of the things I spend my time on. In light of seeking Him, reading His word, meditating and memorizing scripture, praying, they seem so wasteful. We grouse about how we don't really see answers to our prayers or how the Word is so seemingly dead to our hearts, or we struggle with so many things of this world, yet are we doing anything about it??!!
Are we taking time to do the 'basics', for crying out loud?! You know, praying?! How often do I lament about the things I want changed, or talk about them, but do I pray? I mean really take time to pray??? What about meditating on His Word day and night? Really, how many of us are doing this? You do know it mentions this concept more than once, right? Day and night? Sure, I'll check my Facebook (not anymore, I deactivated it, so liberating) day and night, or my emails, but meditate on the Word, day and night?
We can't figure out why we still struggle with the same old things. How about we do the basic of renewing our mind with the Word of God? I mean consuming vast amounts of His Word?
I am just plain old fed up with the excuses (talking to myself here) of not having enough time, or I am just too busy, or that sounds so 'legalistic'. I was challenged, and I challenge you, to really evaluate how I spend my time. Do I even do the basics? How can we go on to all the other 'things' if we aren't even doing the basics? We don't forget or not have time to eat, or check emails, or blogs, or Facebook, or talk on the phone, or watch TV, or read books or whatever else we put over and above seeking Him.
I want to live a "One Thing" life! I want that 'One Thing' to be HIM!
These are the types of words/quotes that have crossed my path of late and words that I want to mark my life,
"cultivate a heart of unwavering devotion"
"a heart enraptured by our God"
"lives of lavish commitment"
"press into God's heart with a spiritual violence"
If you would like more of Him, join me in prayer:
Father God, my heart's desire is for more of You. I want my life to be so consumed with holy passion for You, Your heart and Your word. I want to have a heart like David whose one desire was to dwell in the presence of the Lord all the days of His life and gaze upon the beauty of His Lord and meditate in His temple. I want to be like Paul whose determined purpose was to become deeply and intimately acquainted with You. I want to be like Mary, who sat at Your feet and listened to Your word. Show me what to whittle out of my life, show me how to make room for You? I need Your grace to live this kind of life, it is not by power or by might, but by Your Spirit that I could even hope to attain these things. Draw me, equip me, strengthen me. I accept Your invitation to learn more of You. I want to want the things of Your heart. Make me a "one thing" woman, and let that 'one thing' be YOU! In Jesus precious name, Amen.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Recently I was meditating on the verse we all know and love in Nehemiah. What is it ladies, you know right?
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
(Truth be told, it's only part of a verse, but that is the part I will talk about.)
I have always thought that I had to some how get His joy and then I would have strength. I have prayed for His joy. I have confessed joy. I have meditated on this scripture.
Well, as I was seeking the Lord for wisdom and revelation on this verse, this was my thought process.
'could it be joy "in" the Lord?' ' as I am joyful 'in' You, then I am strengthened?'
I looked up the Hebrew word for 'joy', H2304 (from H2302) meaning rejoice. Rejoice! So, REJOICE in the Lord and I will have strength! (Maybe this was a no brainer for you all, but not for me)
Then I looked up 'strength', H4581: a fortified place, a defence.
Wow, it was becoming clear to me that as I rejoice/praise Him not only am I strengthened but I find myself in a fortified place. Which speaks to me of a safe place, a place where the enemy can't get to me quite so easily.
Then I came across another verse, Psalm 16:11,
Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
In His presence is fullness of joy, that joy I desperately need for victory, for strength. Hmmm, how do we enter into His presence, where that fullness of joy is?? That's right, Psalm 100:4
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
Might be a simple message, but I'm a simple woman. Isn't it so cool when He lets us peek behind the 'why' to His commands? He tells us to rejoice, be thankful, to praise, and we should simply because He says so. But how cool when He shows us why.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
This is the Sourdough Rye recipe that is beyond easy to make.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I am falling head over heals in love with You, with Your mercy, with all that You are. How can it be that I can love you more? You are enlarging my heart, increasing the capacity to love You more.
I am beginning to see myself as Your cherished bride. I love that word, cherished. It speaks of love, protection, perfect care. It makes me feel so sheltered and loved. An embrace from the Creator of the universe, my King and Lord . . . the Lover of me!
You . . . love . . . me! You . . . cherish . . . me! My heart is being stirred with holy passion for You and Your heart. I long to hear Your voice. I ache to feel Your touch.
I can feel my heart beginning to run after You, dropping the things that once held it bound. I am leaving all this behind, nothing is satisfying anymore~it's You I long for. I care less and less for the things of this world~ I can feel it deep in my very heart. Cause my heart to burn like never before with passion and love for You. I can't seem to get enough of You.
It has happened, I'm ruined! I've become so lovesick for You. I really don't care anymore if others think I'm too radical, gone overboard, too bold, talk about Jesus too much.
I'm crazy in love, ruined, I tell You. I can't get enough of You, but I am going to spend the rest of my days trying. Aggressively pursuing Love!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour. (Matthew 8:13)
Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you. (Matthew 9:29)
What exactly am I believing? Am I believing that today is going to be the same as tomorrow? Do I believe that today just might be better? Do I believe that there is no hope, the situation is not changing . . . because if I am that might be why that is what I am getting!
As thou hast believed . . . I am challenged to look at what I am believing. What I believe is what I am thinking. Here we go with the 'take every thought captive' principle again ;-)
According to your faith be it unto you . . . Really? What is my faith (what I am believing) in? Ouch!
And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him! (Matthew 8:26-27)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Do you see all those bottles? Do you know how much money was spent on all those pills? And this isn't even all the supplements I WAS on!
I have since repented for turning to man and man's ways to find healing.
For me, the sins behind Adrenal Fatigue were, fear (as in stress and anxiety), performance, drivenness, and perfectionism, lack of trust in God, self and others. Also, a lot of self-unforgiveness and self- bitterness. Perhaps I will elaborate on these in future posts sharing how they manifested in my life.
To make a very long story short, up to 80% of illnesses have spiritual roots. Meaning, there is sin behind them and when the sin is repented of and removed many people are restored to health. No, not every case is the same nor do ALL illnesses have spiritual roots. Sickness is a curse, though. Deuteronomy 28 lists the blessings and the curses. Not one sickness is in the list of the blessings, but on the contrary sicknesses are in the list of curses.
IF YOU will listen diligently to the voice of the Lord your God, being watchful to do all His commandments which I command you this day, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you if you heed the voice of the Lord your God. . .
But if you will not obey the voice of the Lord your God, being watchful to do all His commandments and His statutes which I command you this day, then all these curses shall come upon you and overtake you . . . (Deut. 28:1, 2, 15)
Obedience brings blessings. Disobedience brings curses.
BLESS (AFFECTIONATELY, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul; and all that is [deepest] within me, bless His holy name!
Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul, and forget not [one of] all His benefits-- Who forgives [every one of] all your iniquities, Who heals [each one of] all your diseases . . . (Psalm 103:1-3)
If you are suffering from an illness, it is at the very least worth it to humble yourself and seek the Lord to see if maybe, just maybe, there is a more excellent way. I had to change my mindset (as it was wrong), threw out a bunch of lies, renew my mind, and receive the truth that makes me free.
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. (3 John 2)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The more we learn the more I am astounded by the scriptural principle, and command really, to take every thought captive. It is amazing the effect our thoughts have on our physical bodies as well as our spirit man.
A recent 'lesson' I had was this. I had been typing my notes up from the For My Life course we recently took and I began to meditate on the thought that Satan and his minions respond to our words. Now they are not omnipresent or omniscient so they can't know our thoughts, but our words give our thoughts away.
The day after I was thinking on this I was having an incredibly difficult day, spiritually and physically. The battle in my mind to not 'go under' these circumstances seemed pretty intense. Up until this point I had been battling the thoughts in my mind and had not spoken defeat. I finally cracked. I began to speak defeat. "Fine, I give up! I just quit. I can't take it any more, I see no hope, no way out. You win, I lose." ( I know, extremely foolish)
What happened next was shocking. Had I not experienced it I would not have believed it. Immediately the thoughts and temptations came flooding in. Up until that point there were a reasonable amount of thoughts inside my head to battle with, now, it felt like a flood! It was as if I could see them come flooding in. It felt like the thoughts were hundreds of ping pongs bouncing off the walls of my mind. It was very startling. I mean thoughts of doom and gloom around things that didn't even pertain to the day's battle!
Brian and I prayed and I was able to lie down for a rest. It wasn't until later that I had realized what had happened. It was my words of defeat that let all those thoughts come flooding in. They responded to my words! How much better had I kept my mouth shut. No! How much better had I opened my mouth with faith filled words of scripture!
While the experience was difficult to go through, I am so thankful for it. It was a huge lesson for me. One I hope to learn from.
Friday, November 5, 2010
When I see the weakness in each of our lives . . .
when I see the sin, sometimes so glaring . . .
I marvel, shake my head and stand in awe . . .
how can it be that the two of us would be gifted with this marriage?
Perhaps our Father is showing He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy?
Perhaps it is yet another example of free grace, totally unmerited?
Perhaps we will never know, fully, why He would choose two thoroughly broken sinful people and put them together making one 'whole'.
One thing I do know, I am humbled, awestruck and forever thankful for this gift ~ the gift of this marriage.
Happy Anniversary, my love! It sometimes seems insane, the love we have for each other, but we both know Who gets the glory for this, don't we?
Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to Your name give glory, for Your mercy and loving kindness and for the sake of Your truth and faithfulness! (Psalm 115:1)
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Where do I start???
What an awesome week we just had as a family. It was so incredible in so many ways. The children have really grown and have broken free from a lot of ‘stuff’.
There were precious tears of repentance between parent and child and between siblings.
I scarce can take in all the Lord has done in each of our hearts, individually as well as a family. This whole week has been such blur. In one sense it feels like it happened in a flash, and in another time seems to have stopped.
Brian and the four younger children took part in the For My Life Children’s program at Be In Health in Thomaston, GA. Each day the children would be taught what the parents were being taught in the For My Life program and then at the end of each class the children would come in to the main sanctuary for prayer and deliverance together as a family. It was so awesome.
The children were taught some really cool praise and worship songs with dance moves to them. The songs and dances were so cool that each time I went to check on them, (which was often even though Brian was in there) I wished I was in there. You could find me dancing in the hallway to the songs. No, I am not a person who is over comfortable with dancing, but they were so cool.
It was great to see the children come out of their little comfort zones a little. They divided the children into smaller groups and each of our little children was in different groups, so they had to make friends with others. I cannot believe how many homeschoolers there were in the program. I think there were about 30 ish children this week and about 20 of them were home school children!
I was privileged to be in the For My Life classes with four of our older children. Luke, Joshua, Victoria and Isaiah were in with me. The classes were long and intense at times. There is so much information to take in and I was so proud of the children, especially Victoria and Isaiah. We have done this course before, though online, so it was really neat to be having this information go in deeper. I think, for me, the first time listening to all this material you simply cannot take it ‘all’ in. Having listened to some of the teaching up to several times have really helped cement them in.