Monday, September 21, 2009

Who Keeps Putting These Walls Here?

Okay, you might not want to come over to my house anytime soon. Apparently there are invisible walls that get put up right in front of me just when I think I might get to do something!

Saturday, I woke up feeling somewhat better than I have and was able to do some organizing and cleaning with the rest of the gang. At 11:00 am we were about to head downstairs, I stopped as I felt something not right inside of me, dear husband noticed and said when we get downstairs you are going to SIT!

Well, we went downstairs and within minutes I hit a wall! I mean slammed right into it, not literally, mind you. It is the weirdest feeling. Nothing in me was able to push through and immediately the tears start. I am not sure if the tears are part of the physical exhaustion or the reality that I can't do what I want to do. Probably both.

My dear husband says, 'this is enough, we should have saw this coming, off to bed for you!' He tucked me in and I slept soundly for about two hours.

Today, I was maybe feeling okay and was going to do some light exercises. Nope, hit that same dad-blasted wall! I don't see it there, I just slam right into! So, you might not want to come over here, you never know when you might hit the wall.

Oh, and by the way, I am fully aware of Who keeps putting the walls there! My Papa. I'm learning to surrender, s - l - o - w -l - y.

One more thing.

Yesterday we decided to take the children to the park, pick up some ice cream and have a little fun. It wouldn't take too much energy for mom and the kids could get out and have some fun.

All was well until my competitive husband decided to race the older boys. I was the 'on your mark, get set, go!' girl. As soon as my arm went down, I had the thought, 'you better not pull anything.' Before I could speak it out my dear husband stopped and grabbed his leg. I could see the agony on his face. Yep, he pulled something, his hamstring. Pretty bad too. So, after walking around for a bit to try to 'walk it off' we were off to rest, ice, compress and elevate his leg.

While he was laying on the floor he pulled out his bible and read to the littles. He confided in my later that he has felt the pull to be reading the Word to them more, but with all that is going on and all the extra on his plate due to my health, he does other things first.

I think he hit the same wall I have been hitting! God sure has His ways of getting us where He wants us.


Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle,
Oh I am so with you. I hate those walls. I have the same illnesses and my body isn't allowing me to do what I want. I do what I can then I lay down all afternoon and rest.

Linda said...

Sweet Michelle, Just keep on trusting in Him and resting in His promises. I know it is hard sometimes when you slam into those walls, but I also know the Lord loves you, and you are very special to him. He will help you through all of this.

Praying for you,
Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I've hit that wall, several times in my life. The worst was when my husband was deployed in Iraq and I was by myself with my 2 year old son. Near the end of the deployment I fell down some nasty stairs in the dark and broke the tip of my collarbone off. I was completely dependent on family and friends until my husband could get home. I learned so much about myself and about God during that trial.