Sunday, September 27, 2009

My Soul Finds Rest in God Alone

My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

This verse caught my attention yesterday and won't leave my mind. I strive and strain in pursuit of something. I grasp at ideas of how to reign this in or how to pull it together. I feel like I'm chasing something, something I can't see. I just have to have it.
I realize this 'it' is rest; rest for my soul. This craving for rest for my soul is so strong. It's a longing deep within me, an ache I can almost feel.
I study verses about rest.
I cry out for rest.
I respond to the invitation for ‘all those who are weary to come to Him and find rest for their souls’.
I'm weary, pick me!
I'm heavy laden, I say, ‘pick me.’
Show me this rest. I see rest is what I need.

Not rest in the sense of inactivity or lying down, though my physical body does need rest.
No, it's a deep inner rest.
A rest from all the expectations I put on myself.
A rest from all my thoughts.
A rest from trying to be someone I am not.
A rest from the striving against my Maker.
A rest from trying to somehow have my hand in this sanctification process.
A rest from my works.
A rest in the finished work of the cross.
A rest from always thinking I need to do more, be better, try harder.
A rest from self and all of self's efforts.
A rest from the “I shoulds.”
A rest from me, quite frankly.

So back to the verse
My soul finds rest in God alone.

See the profundity of it? So simple, one could almost miss it. I have many times. I have loved this verse for years. I think I would read and breathe it in for a moment, get up and go about my life, my way, in my strength. Somehow I must have missed the word “alone” at the end.
My soul will only find its true rest in God ALONE!
Not God and self,
not God and my works,
not God and my striving and effort,
not God and me – nope, only in God alone!

So I say to my soul, 'Find your rest in God alone, my hope comes from Him.'

I really think that this might just be the 'kingpin' in this affliction. As I look back over the years I see that 'rest for my soul' is what I have been chasing, I just didn't know it. I thought maybe more schedules and charts, more quiet time, more effort, something to fill what was missing. I don't think I have even come close to what He is teaching me in this area. Like I said above, it is almost an ache to know the truth of rest. And so the pursuit continues.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.


Lindsay said...

I really needed this today.

I opened the Large Family Mothering blog right after yours, with which I'm sure you're familiar...and I believe her post and your post work together as pieces of the same puzzle.


Camille said...

I love it that you are posting these beautiful devotional thoughts...the Lord is teaching you much of Himself and He is using you to be a blessing to us!What a blessing to be HIS CHILD, isn't it?? May the Lord bless you today Michelle as you REST in HIM Alone.

In His Love,