I’m Becoming ME!

I notice that I am becoming ME, who I was created to be, and guess what?  I like me.

I get all giddy when I see some new behavior or example of how much I have changed in the last couple of years, since my healing and deliverance.

The chains have fallen off in so many areas.  So many facets of fear, just keep falling off. I notice it in sometimes silly areas.

Like painting a piece of furniture some really fun color just because I love it.  Silly, I know, but what if it doesn’t sell?  What if nobody else likes it?  What if others think I was foolish for painting it that color?  See, those are old lies that still try to whisper, but no longer have a hold on me.  Fear of man, fear of failure, insecurity, self-doubt.

Purchasing Turquoise cowboy boots.  I mean, what self-respecting home school mama does that??  Not much practical about turquoise cowboy boots. Never mind that I LOVE them and they make my heart go pitter-patter.   I have never owned cowboy boots, never mind turquoise boots!  What will people think?  Too attention-getting?  They cost too much, am I really ‘worth’ it?  I mean, really now, a ‘gift’ for me??  So extravagant? Do you hear them?  Fear of man, insecurity, fear.  The “I somehow need to earn things” syndrome.

Waving wildly at the pizza guy on the street corner holding a sign.  Someone in the van said, ‘wave to the guy’. So I did. Wildly and with a huge smile.  Why not?  I think it is okay to enjoy life!  Life is hard and it hurts, often.  Why not lighten up a little, play, be silly.  Things I NEVER would do in the past.  Well, it’s not grown up and mature.

The children wonder what happened to their mama when she starts dancing in the kitchen, hands in the air, hip-bumping, singing, ‘that’s how we do it, that’s how we do it’.  The children reel with laughter. I continue on until we are all giggling.

Speaking the Truth with love and compassion, but also great boldness.  Taking full advantage of each and every platform the Lord gives to share HIS love.  To pray for the hurting even when it is uncomfortable or appears to be a bit bold.  I don’t care anymore.  I am not concerned with what someone else thinks, or if I will mess up or if I am missing God, or if . . . {fill in the blank}

I have been set free!  Free from so many lies.  In those moments when I can be a little crazy and have a little fun, why not??  I know these examples might seem like trivial things, but they really are not.  They are huge when you realize the freedom they represent.

So, I am far from perfect, which I will always be, but I like who He made me to be!  This alone is huge.  Years of self-hatred are being washed away.  Imagine a world, ladies, where we actually ‘love’ ourselves??  Not some vain, self-conceited, arrogant, ‘love ourselves’.  But one in which we embrace who He made us to be, and call ‘good’ what He has already called good.  What a sadness it must be to Him to have us hate ourselves. 

Repent! And renew your mind with who He says you are.  I promise, your whole perspective will change.

Next time, one teeny, tiny fact that lifted a HUGE burden.

What about you, sister?  Does any of this resonate with your heart?

Capture the Moment: Part 2

Last time I shared how I sense the need to Capture the Moments.  How life is a blur and how the moments can easily be missed.

Today I want to define, moments and capture.  Being a ‘words’ person, this helps me make it real.

Moments: a brief, indefinite interval of time, a particular period of importance, a brief period of time that is characterized by a quality, such as excellence or distinction.

I notice right away that ‘moments’ are brief, important.  I would agree that our moments here on earth, with our loved ones truly are ‘brief’ and oh, so important.

Capture:  to take captive, seize, gain possession of, to hold, preserve.

This is my desire, to take captive and preserve, if only for a short while, these precious moments that are so brief and important.

Some examples of what this might look like.

Stopping to watch four little children all bundled up in snow clothes traipsing through the deep snow behind the pond.  Smile, breathe it in.

Lingering long in his embrace.  Inhaling and noticing that familiar scent.  Purposing to feel the arms around you, feeling loved.

Noticing the beautiful landscape, how everything is covered in a thick blanket of freshly fallen snow.  Everything white and clean.  Beauty from my Father.

Watching as she tries out new skills in the kitchen, the sheer delight and sense of accomplishment on her face.  Pausing to capture this memory.

Seeing the grieving couple.  How, even though their hearts are broken, they love, hold each other up.  Years of being tossed about, yet their strength and love for each other is evident.  Letting the eyes fill with tears at such raw beauty.

Not rushing through the morning snuggles with the ‘baby’, who is almost too big to fit on my lap.  Cherishing these moments, they are so brief and fleeting.  One day the bursting through the door each morning will stop.

Oh, for eyes to see, and grace to stop, in this busy season.  I don’t want to miss any of it.  But I do, I choose to pass on by.  It is a choice. 

Do I, by the grace of God, choose to train my heart and eyes to stop, capture, seize and make my very own possession out of these fleeting and brief moments in time?   Or do I continue to let life whizz on by? I desire to stop,  S.L.O.W to soak up and savor the moments.

What are some ‘moments’ that you have purposed to capture?  I would love to read them, please share.

Capture the Moments

Life, being what it is, fleeting, doesn’t seem to stop.  Life doesn’t seem to care how important each moment is.  It just marches on and we are caught up in, whether we like it or not.

It is so easy for the moments, the days, the years to get away from us.  You know what I mean, don’t you?  Each season in life is different. 

When you have a house full of babies, it seems the moments d.r.a.g on, am I right?

When your house if filled with teenagers, time seems to whiz on by.

I find myself in a very different season right now.  I have adult children, teenagers, and littles.  I also have a business and ministry that demands a lot of my time.  If I am not careful, time gets away from me.  The moments, they fly by and it all looks like a blur.  So much of life is missed when it’s all blurry.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart lately.  The word ‘moments’ keeps coming to my mind.  My days with the children are no longer defined by the minutes in my beautifully printed up schedule that has each and every minute accounted for.  Schedule??  That’s funny!

No, it’s different right now.  It’s the ‘moments’ I am after.  ‘Capture the Moments’, I hear whispered in my heart.  Stop and and grab hold of the moments.  Cherish them, delight in them.

I feel the need to ponder this.  Next time, let’s define ‘moment’ and ‘capture’.  Maybe look for ways to ‘Capture the Moments’

What season do you find yourself in right now? Is life a bit ‘blurry’?

 

Beloved

I am joining Lisa-Jo today, for Five Minute Friday.  Today’s prompt was Beloved.

He calls me, My Beloved. On his phone, that is my name. He loves with an amazing love. This girl, the little girl in me who has only longed to be loved and accepted, well, he has been loving me whole for nearly 26 years now.

It was strange, I thought, that he would love me. I mean, he is so cool and man, is he gorgeous. But he did. He pursued me. I was afraid at first, had been wounded way too many times to fall for this one. I played hard to get. Well, not really that hard. I kept one of his first messages on my answering machine for weeks. I would play it over and over again. I couldn’t understand what his last name was, so I guessed and looked in the phone book for possible last names. I laugh at myself now. Such a tough cookie on the outside, but I was a melting marshmallow on the inside.

Through thick and thin, literally, this man has loved me. When several pregnancies had left their marks all over my body, he would touch them, I would recoil. He said he loved them because they were proof of the children we have together.

Yes, I am his beloved. I know it every day as he lays down his life for me, over and over and over again.

Healing My Heart: Letters to My Heart

Something happens—a flash from the past—reminds me of who I was, and tries to convince me it’s actually who I am.  Hurts long since dealt with seem to burst my heart wide open.

In an instant I am that little girl desperate for love.  Seeking ‘normal’ in my broken world.  The rejections, the ‘used, tossed aside, left in a heap’ shame.  It all seems to be right there—waves of tears wash over me.  Chest heaving sobs I try to hide in the shower.  How can this be?  I know I’ve been forgiven—as far as the east is from the west.

I’m really just stunned by it all.  I share it all with the man who loves me.  It’s not new to him.  I’m embarrassed to talk to my ‘husband’ about this.  Oh, for a girlfriend to share it with, but really, who knows me better?  What will he think?

He prays and listens and wipes away tear after tear. Never once repulsed by my words.  He reminds me that I’ve been plunged beneath that flood and lost all my guilty stains.  I am new.  I am clean.  No guilt or shame has an audience with me.  Silence them with His great name.  In the name of Jesus Christ.

I need to sit with my Father—hear His voice.  Listen to what He has to say.  Let His life giving word breathe life and healing and hope into my bruised heart and battered soul.  What He spoke to me is the foundation of the latest Letters to My Heart.

Dearest Michelle,

First of all, always remember that your loving Father used those circumstances, that pain, the rejection, to protect you from what wasn’t for you and to bring you to His perfect plan for your life.  It had absolutely nothing to do with you being unlovable or no good.  There was nothing ‘wrong’ with you!

Michelle, you were chosen, actually picked by the only One who really matters.  When others tossed you aside, your Father was right there choosing you every time.

You are holy.  You have been cleansed and made whole and holy.  Pure and blameless!

You are loved.  Even if every earthly love fails, His love never, ever will fail.  The Lord of lords and the King of kings loves you with an everlasting love—a forever love.

He loves you with an everlasting love and with loving-kindness has He drawn you

You will and are being rebuilt.  You will go forth with dancing.  He is your Father.  He keeps you as a shepherd keeps His flock.

He has already ransomed you from the hand that was too strong for you.

Michelle, you are always loved, adored, accepted and precious in the sight of the one Who has created you.

Recognize that you have been set free.  Look at your feet, there lie the chains, the guilt, the shame.  You have only need to walk away from it.  Hold your head up, beam with love and acceptance as you walk away, clothed in His righteousness alone.  You are His girl.

 

No Eye Has Seen

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

Oh, ladies!  I have just come back from an amazing experience.  I doubt I will be able to put into words all that this meant to me.  I can honestly say that it was quite a ‘perspective’ changing experience!

I was asked, way back in September, to be a ‘featured presenter’ at two Women’s Expos here in Michigan.  I was literally blown away by the offer.  I believe, ‘who me?’ was my response.  The plan was for us to have a very large display booth for our business and I would share about {re}imagining furniture, hand painted signs and creative repurposing from the stage three times a day.

I was told I could share whatever my heart desired.  I felt from the second I was asked that this was a platform to encourage women.  Yes, it would likely be good for our business, but my main focus was the women.

This past weekend was more than I could have ever dreamt of.  I felt His presence every single second.  It felt completely natural to be up on that stage sharing Him and what He has done.  After the sixth talk, the owner of the show asked how I was doing and it just came out of my mouth.  I said, “I think I am doing what I was created to do.”  I have always desired it, encouraging women, touching their hearts for Him, putting my arm around them and telling them of His faithfulness and that it is going to be okay.  But now I was living it.

I am completely humbled by this opportunity.  It wasn’t something I sought out, He arranged it all.  I knew it was Him all the way.  When fear would try to come in, He was there to strengthen.  When the doubts of ‘who do you think you are’ would whisper.  I heard, loud and clear, I am a child of God, here to do His will. 

When I wasn’t sure where to start or what to say, His Spirit was right there giving me the words.

At the end of each talk I gave away a book that I love called, “You Are Already Amazing”.  I would require the winner of the book to repeat after me, “I am already amazing”.  The tears and emotions that this simple statement brought confirmed the message the Lord had for them was spot on.  I also gave them a small hand painted sign that simply said, ‘Loved’ on it.  It was to remind them that were indeed loved.  (another part of my talk)

The super cool part of all of this??  I get to do it again in March, in my hometown of Grand Rapids, MI.  I could not be more thrilled and honored.

Perhaps I can share the heart of my message here, though it has been woven through just about everything I have written here.

 

Letters To My heart: Gossip (you may need this!)

Well, it keeps happening.  Opportunity to practice what I preach. (pun intended)  I cannot believe the difference this “Letters To My Heart”, preaching to myself, is making in my life.  I cannot believe the freedom I experience when I preach the WORD to my heart.  I love His Word and how it transforms.

Dearest One,

I know it stings, hurts actually, when others gossip and slander, especially when it is towards you and your own.

You are a child of the Most High, there is but one road, the narrow one.

First of all, separate that person from their sins. They are completely ‘lost’ in this situation. Recognize that this is just a scheme of the enemy. See it for what it is. See her for who she is, a sinner, like you. You have the same potential to wound and to be arrogant.

But you must bless and not curse!  You can and must choose to love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless them that curse you and pray for them!

Dearest, in the areas that you are yet blind, how would you want someone to treat you? Criticize and judge? Be harsh with you and think awful thoughts about you? No, you would want love and patience, to be given time for you to mature. So do unto others a you would have them do unto you.

Be like your Father, He is kind and merciful to the unthankful and evil, including you.

You must forgive, for there is no other option. Forgive and you shall be forgiven.

Do not repay evil for evil, nor try to avenge yourself, give that to the Lord you are His. He will work all things together for good in your life. You simply have need to trust and obey, for there really is no other way.

Dear one, do not be overcome by the evil intended to hurt, divide and destroy your joy and peace, but overcome evil with good.

Far better to allow this situation to conform you into the image of Christ than to ‘make them understand’, to try and clear you name or let them know just how wrong and awful they are.

This is where the rubber meets the road, kid

His grace is sufficient to enable you to obey his Word.

Love . . . Do good. . .  Bless. . .  Pray . . .  Forgive . . .

repeat after me. . .

Love . . . Do good. . . Bless. . . Pray . . . Forgive . . .

Love . . . Do good. . . Bless. . . Pray . . . Forgive . . .

Repeat as many times as necessary or when the ugly thoughts come flooding in!

Have you been ‘stung’ by other’s gossip?  Did you forgive?  You must, you know.  Doesn’t make you never want to say another thing about another person, ever?

Are You Doing It?

I can’t seem to get away from it, this concept of ‘preaching to oneself’.  The Lord has been speaking to my heart sometime about it.  It seems everywhere I turn He is confirming it.  On Facebook or in books I am reading or thumbing through.

Don’t worry, I’m listening and obeying.  Here’s the latest installment in ‘Letters to My Heart’.

We have got to preach to ourselves!  We spend so much time listening to the voice of the enemy or our own thoughts.  Where does that get us?  Overwhelmed?  Sad?  Lonely?  Hopeless?

What if, by the grace of God, the minute we recognize we are about to slide down that slippery slope, we stopped just for a second.  What if, again by His grace, we grabbed ourselves by the scruff and said,

“Self, stop this complaining and belly-aching, Hope thou in God!

The hand of the Lord is NOT too short for you and your sorry situation.

He is the Lord, the God of all flesh and is there anything too difficult for Him?

Self, have you not known?  Have you not heard?  It is He that sits upon the circle of the earth . . . it is He that stretched out the heavens . . .

Lift up your eyes! and behold who hath created these things, that brings out the starry host by number; He calls them by name, by the greatness of His might, for He is strong in power . . .

Why, O Why, do you complain and fear?  If He is for you who can be against you?  Nothing can separate you from His love.

Put your hope in God!  For you will praise Him—He is the hope of your countenance and your God!”

There, don’t you feel better now?  This one was a bit more ‘firm’ than the others, I guess it depends on the need.  Don’t be afraid to repeat as necessary.  If you are anything like me, it might just be ‘necessary’ several times a day!

Embracing the “No”

I am continuing my journey to have the proper perspective, and the Lord seems to delight to show me example after example of how one little twist of my perspective can turn a situation around.

The example I am about to give seems extremely trivial, but the principle is the same.  Trust me when I say I have had to ‘embrace’ the many hard and gut wrenching “No’s” also.  Truth be told, I haven’t always fared that well.  It’s a process.

Brian and I were at a sale for our business and had purchased several things for a really good price.  All that was left that was drawing us were these 3 industrial carts.  They were an amazing price.  They would make our furniture storage and moving of it, so much easier.  I mean, way easier.  We waffled back and forth and decided to walk away, trusting that if they were for us they would be there the next day for less.  We just don’t have room in our operating budget to purchase things that simply make our life easier.  Unless we can turn a profit on it, we just need to wait.

I struggled the whole 24 hours to just trust God. I really, really wanted them.  I found myself having to take deep breaths to calm my tummy.  I would ask Brian if we should just call and get them.  (He is ridiculously good at waiting)  I couldn’t get them out of my mind, but I kept releasing it to God. 

I would say, ‘if these are not from You, I don’t want them.’  But I really wanted them.  Seems trivial, I know.

Here’s the deal. Do I really want something that is not from His hand?  I think of the Israelites, He gave them their request but sent leanness into their souls.  What if the “No” is really a gift?  My almighty Father knows all, the beginning from the end.  Can I trust Him to only give me what is best for me and to bring Him the most glory?

I think of all the “No’s” that seemed so hard.  Sometimes cruel.  Looking back I now see the picture just a little bit clearer.  I would not be who I am today without those ‘No’s’.  I would not have the testimony I do.  I would not have the heart I do for those who are hurting.  I suspect I would be a shallow, know-it-all little brat!

The ‘No’ to keeping those babies we lost to miscarriage has caused me to trust Him in ways I never had before.  They have given me such a deeper appreciation for the gift of children.  My heart is infinitely more sensitive to mamas who have lost babies.  And that love and grace I experienced that February afternoon in the hospital after losing our second baby at 17 weeks, incomparable!  I would do it again in a heartbeat to experience Him in that way.

The ‘No’ to years of a prodigal coming home . . .

The ‘No’ to relief from serious, heart-wrenching situations . . .

The ‘No’ to finding a church all those years . . .

The ‘No’ to financial freedom . . .

The ‘No’ to health for so long . . .

The ‘No’ to . . .

You fill in the blank.  Ladies, His ‘No’ just may be the best thing for us!  Untold treasures are being formed in us.  He knows what is best.  And I have found, that often times, the ‘No’ might just become a ‘yes’ some time later, maybe just in a different form.

What ‘No’ might you need to embrace to bring you peace right now?  I am not talking about just sitting back and taking a whippin’ from the enemy.  I am talking about submitting to your Father, humble yourself under His might hand that He may exalt you in due time, casting your care upon Him, because He cares for you.

Father, may we always and only seek Your will for our lives.  May we have grace to surrender all our desires to You and trust YOU to bring them about in YOUR timing.

Two hours after posting this, we found out that the carts were still available and we got them for $50 less than we were willing to pay!!! Amazing!!

The Awakening of Hope

For years I was afraid to hope.  Every time I did hope, it was crushed.  Hope seemed to die in me all those years ago.  I couldn’t handle the pain, the shock of each devastating event, so I just stopped hoping.

If anything good happened, it hadn’t started with hope in me.  I began to expect or ‘hope’ for the worst.  At least then I was prepared for what might come next.

Secret hopes from deep in my heart, I simply gave up the hope of ever seeing them.

It’s so sad to me now, to realize I lived that way for so long.  I didn’t even recognize that I was.  No wonder life was so hard and my heart and my heart unbearably heavy.  Yes, the circumstances all those years were excruciating and heart breaking, but when all hope is gone, what else is left?

I didn’t realize that I had laid down my hopes—it’s only now that I sense hope coming alive on the inside of me that I see.  Why does hindsight always seem to be so crystal clear?

When you have hope, you feel alive.  For so long I didn’t feel alive.  It has been happening, this coming to life.  Hope is springing up in places I thought were long since dead.

I sense the Lord awakening and watering hopes and dreams I buried along time ago.  I sometimes feel like I can’t contain them all.  I am humbled.  I am in awe.  I wait on Him.

Has hope died in you?  Has your heart been crushed so many times that hope was left there fatally wounded? 

May I pray for you?  Drop me an email—I’d be honored.  Don’t feel as though you have to bare your soul—just a simple ‘please pray’ is all it will take.

---

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:21-26)

 

Watch This Amazing Testimony

This was absolutely amazing and a delight to watch.  I dare you to watch it.  I dare you to watch it and look at your life the same when you are done.  (I am in NO way advocating watching Oprah, I came across this on a friend’s blog)

Pretty amazing, yes?  Our God is so awesome and awe-inspiring!

Letters to My Heart: Stress

I have written about the importance of ‘Preaching’ to your self and how it can change your whole perspective.  When the battle is intense, sometimes a good old fashioned sermon is what the heart needs!  Just ask the Holy Spirit, He is willing to oblige.

I have some events coming up that I need to prepare for.  In the natural, I might just be in a little bit over my head.  I know the Lord has called me to this, but my natural tendency is to fret, be anxious and stress over the details. He has shown me over and over and over again that He ALWAYS comes through, but I still fret over the details.

Here is the latest ‘Letter To My Heart’.  I purposely used general terms so you could apply it to your own situation.(just substitute your name)

Dearest Michelle,

As you face these upcoming situations, put no confidence in the flesh, don’t put any hope in ‘you’ doing this.  Michelle, it is Christ who strengthens you!  It is Christ in you, not you yourself.

So stand fast, dear one, the battle may still rage on, but you can stand fast.  You already have the victory—you are more than a conqueror, more than, through Christ.  God has given you the victory!

Be steadfast and unmovable no matter how intense the temptation.

Michelle, the best battle plan is simply to rejoice in the Lord!  Be glad in Him.  Choose it.  Find your joy in Him, whenever the winds of fear, doubt or stress come to blow you over, tell them to ‘be still’ and rejoice in Him, His goodness—faithfulness.  Glory in Him.  Joy comes from praising HIM.

You are going to be tempted to complain and grumble that the load is too big, that you are alone in this , that you can’t see your way through.  Don’t do it—just rejoice in Him.

Michelle, do not allow anxiety or fear a voice in your mind!  Not even one whisper!  But in every.single.thing offer up to your Father what you need.  Do it with thanksgiving in your heart because you know how faithful and good He is.

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Finally, dearest one, choose to think on the Truth.

You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

Your faithful Father will supply for all your needs according to His riches in glory.

He’s got this, sweetie, it’s all Him, you’re just along for the ride, might as well enjoy it.

 

Game Changing Habit

One thing, habit, if you will, that I think is a game changer for me is simply this,

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Taken from Job 1:21

And said, naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there: the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

First of all, anything I have, came from Him. I brought nothing into this equation, it was all Him.

Secondly, He can choose to give and He can choose to take away.  No matter what it is, it is not mine to decide or make happen, but His.  I simply submit to Him and humble myself to His plans and purposes.

The phrase I hear echo over and over in my head, day in and day out, is,

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

As I purpose to make the habit to humble myself and thank Him in all things, ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord’, I believe deep changes are happening on the inside.  I am seeing it already. The peace, the rest, the joy, is all tied to this one thing, giving thanks in ALL things.

You have sweet potato hashbrowns every.single.morning, today, they are moldy . . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

You hear the bickering, wait, it sounds familiar.  Ah, yes, they sound just like you! . . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

You have been waiting for help with a project that needs to get done and you can’t finish it yourself.  You just find out it will be another week before it gets done. . .  Blessed be the name of the Lord.

How is it after several ‘pick-ups’ throughout the day, that after everyone goes to bed the house still looks like a disaster? . . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

You sell lots of product, you sell no product. . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Your purchase on Amazon doesn’t go through, again, ‘card denied’.  Eight months without a paycheck continues to cause struggles. . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Three days straight of a painful migraine and debilitating nausea. . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

A strained relationship, wounds from a ‘friend’, again. . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Being completely and utterly misunderstood, your heart judged by someone anonymous.  How do they not see my heart? . . . Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Should I go on?  You see my point, right?  Obviously these are ‘easy’ compared to some of life’s deep aches, but the principle is the same.  For me, by saying, “Blessed be the name of the Lord”, I am thanking Him, submitting to Him and allowing Him to work in the situation.

He Turns Fifty

My dearest husband,

Today you turned fifty!  I know it seems old, well, depending on perspective, it sort of is. But don’t let that bother you, it ain’t nothing but a thing!  It matters not to me.

You are my bestest friend ever!  I am able to share my heart of hearts with you.  You are my biggest encourager and advocate.  There is NOTHING I would rather do than be with you!  We have so much fun together. You make me laugh so hard!  I have no idea how I got so blessed with you, but I will not question it.

I love this new season of life we are in.  I love the ones we have already been in, and I look forward to the ones to come.

I pray you know today and everyday just how very much you are loved and cherished, not only by us, but by your heavenly Father!  He chose you.  He loves  you.  You are precious in His sight!

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

“Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?  (selections from Isaiah 43)

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.  Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,  I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 3:12-14)

Let’s press on, my sweet, no matter what comes ahead, we have HIM!  ‘I love you’ hardly seems strong enough, but I LOVE YOU!  I really, really do!

Love Always,

Me

Preach To Yourself!

For me to change or keep the proper perspective in life I am going to need to do my share of preaching to myself.  Do you do that, preach to yourself?  Take a scripture and just really ‘drive it home’?  Need an example of what it looks like for me?

When I happen on a scripture or set of scriptures that really speak to me and I somehow want them deeper and deeper in my heart.  I want to ‘eat’ them, they are so good. I wish they could be tattooed to my forehead, I love it so much.

Well, that happened recently with Colossian 3:12-17.  Here is how I wrote out my ‘sermon’ to myself.

Dearest Michelle, (always talk to yourself w/love)

You, my sweet, are chosen, holy and dearly loved!  Put on therefore tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. 

Be forbearing with others, forgive them just as Christ forgave you.

And above all this, Michelle, put on LOVE!

Let the peace of God rule in your heart . . . and be thankful, woman.

Michelle, let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teach your children and admonish them in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs . . .  sing, Michelle, with grace in your heart to the Lord.  You have every reason to!

Dear one, whatsoever you do today, whether in word, or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God.

See, pretty simple, right? Just think of it as a ‘note to self’ of sorts.  It is just another way to meditate on His word, which we are to do day and night.  Read and preach to yourself frequently!  This is one of those cases where it is perfectly fine to be talking to yourself, I promise.

I cannot tell you much this changes the whole perspective of my days.  The Holy Spirit brings to mind parts of the scripture at just the right time so I can adjust my course, if needed.

Try it, I dare you.  Re-read the above but insert your name.

WORD of 2013!

I have noticed that the prayer of my heart of late has been for my eyes to be open to the wonders of Him.  I want to see His hand in my everyday.  I know He is there, I just want to see it. 

Maybe it is because my heart knows that when I ‘see’ Him, His hand and His love, joy floods my soul.  Peace overwhelms me.  When I ‘see’ Him the circumstances and storms of life seem less likely to knock me down and stomp all over me.  Also, the good days are that much better when enjoyed with Him.

That’s what I want.  To not be so easily knocked down.  To live each day with wide-eyed wonder of Him.  To be like a love-sick school girl, hanging on His every move.

. . . in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

While praying for a name for the new year, perspective kept coming to mind. 

Perspective:  a way of regarding situations, facts and judging their relative importance;  the proper or accurate view or the ability to see it.

You see, when our perspective is proper our hearts are at peace.  Even the most dire straits can appear less dire with the proper perspective.  Think about it for a minute.  Imagine a circumstance and look at it from two different points of view.  You will see what I mean.

When I realize that my life is in the hands of an all sovereign Father who loves and cherishes me, that everything in my life is by His hand and for His purpose and glory and my good, things don’t look nearly as bad.

When I realize that this life is all about Him and His glory, when I really see my life through this perspective so many of my self-focused ideas just fall away.

When my perspective is through His word and His love the fight for joy is less intense.  Don’t think for one second I think this is going to be easy.  Not for a second!  But I am so excited with what He is showing me.  2012 was a crazy busy year and it left this mama feeling a bit battered, weary and dry.  These past few weeks have been almost like a ‘retreat’ with the Lord.  He refreshes His weary ones, that is for sure.

So, do you ‘name’ your year?  Any scripture, phrases or words to start your year off?  I would love to hear them.

My Prayers of Late

12/16/12

Is thank you really enough?  Lord help me to see how faithful You are, always, not just on the good days.  I want to live a faith filled life, giving thanks and praise to You all the day long.  Often though, I feel like one of those collapsible toys. One push of a button and I crumble.

12/21/12

Father, give me eyes to see Your hand and Your goodness all around me, every moment. Open my eyes!  I want to be saturated, consumed, overwhelmed with Your glory and goodness.  I am not asking for ‘more’ gifts, I want to see, really see the gifts already around me.

12/23/12

Thank you for showing me the wonder of YOU!  That is my heart’s cry—to see Your glory.  To see You in everything!  To be so caught up in the wonder of You.  To see You so much and in everything that I just marvel.

12/28/12

Thank you for Your mercy.  Thank You for those sweet moments—hey!  You answered my prayers!  You gave me eyes to see!  Oh, it was so wonderful.  Peel them back—I want to see all of my life through eyes of wonder and gratitude.  Wild, crazy, love and abandon for You and Your goodness and love.

• Can I live in such a way that whatever You have for me—blessed be the name of the Lord?
• Giving thanks in all things!  Oh, Lord, Yes!  Yes! All things. 
• The busy and the slow.
• The crazy good days and the wild, flinging of the serpent's tail, days.
• The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
• Shall I receive the good with thanksgiving and not the bad?   Isn’t it give thanks in ALL things?

A spirit of daily trust and thankful contentment with my lot in life.  Oh, Lord, the peace that floods my soul with these thoughts.  This, this is how I want to live.  This is freedom and carefree abandon to my Father.

12/30/12

Oh, the peace.  With each exhale, the peace goes deeper still.  Oh, the ‘pull’ to stress, to hold tight, and to strive, but the ‘letting go’ seems easier then ever before.

Give thanks . . . Abandon . . . Perspective . . . hmmm.

Reflections of 2012

Standing on the precipice of a new year, I have to chuckle.  Wasn’t I here not too long ago?  I sort of feel like I took a few steps into January 2012, got swallowed up, tossed about, vigorously, and spit out the other side of December!

This past year was such a blur, in one sense.  But in another, the lessons were crystal clear.  It literally felt like non-stop.  I began to wonder if the year was a waste, too busy to have changed or grown.  I looked back over my journal from last year (which had way, way less entries than in years past) and saw so much crying out  to God, struggles and His mighty deliverances over and over again. 

The circumstances of our life may have appeared to be outward focused, the running a home business, or, often times, being run by the business.  Also, Brian working from home, school, every single member of this family being stretched and challenged in all areas because of this business.

As I reflect, I see that yes, there has been so much growth and even fruit!  My word for last year was ‘righteousness’.  The focus being the righteousness I have in him.  Really living, breathing and believing this truth demolishes insecurity, doubts, fears, self-hatred and more.  Living secure in Him even when everything around me seeks to shake that security.

I see the areas that this truth really took root.  I see the areas that I stand a little taller, a little more confident in who He created me to be.  There is a deeper joy and peace than before.  Is there more to be done in these areas?  Definitely.  But for now I  smile, seeing the work He has done in my heart this past year.

I am so excited for this new year.  There are so many new, exciting and incredibly challenging opportunities on the calendar.  I will not fear, my hope and confidence is in Him. I can even see that many of the struggles from this past year have prepared me for the challenges of this coming year.

Like trying on new clothes, I have three ‘words’ I have been ‘trying on’ for the new year.  One seems to fit better than the rest, but I wait on Him to make it clear.  Lord willing, I will share soon.

Have you reflected on this past year?  Have you found Him faithful?  Please share your thoughts, I would love to read them.

That Time of Year

It’s that time of year when most of reflect on the past year.  It has been an amazing year.  So much growth and stretching!

I shake my head and marvel at how blessed we are.  Life is, by far, NOT easy, but my prayer of late has been for my eyes to be opened to His hand in my life.  Not so much asking for more blessings, but for eyes to see the ones already there.

I pray that He bless you and keep you.  That His blessings chase you down this coming year.  That this year be marked by greater healing and wholeness.  That each passing day you (me too!)  look more and more like Jesus!  May our hearts burn with passion and desire for Him and His Word.  May our hearts break for things that break His.  May we know in the very depth of our hearts how much He loves us.

Here is our family newsletter for those who would like a peek inside our little world.

Christmas Newsletter

Mixed Emotions

What a strange place I find myself in, my ‘baby’ turning five today.  I remember the years filled with fear that we’d have so many babies, more than we could handle.  Fear that childbearing would never end.

I was just turning 30 when we knelt down together, fully convinced and convicted that You are sovereign over the womb. That YOU were to be in control of every area of our lives, not us.

I remember thinking, ‘menopause happens around 50 right?  Do you know how many children we could possibly mess up in 20 years?’

I remember it was with blind, shaky faith that we made You Lord over that area.  It gave new meaning to the words ‘fear and trembling’.

Sixteen years later, it has been an incredible journey. Never did I imagine the testing, the stretching, the faith-growing trials that would follow that decision.  Nor could I have imagined NOT having a baby every 15 months or so. All the fears that were so unfounded, what a waste.  All the insane amount of blessings that did result from that decision, I marvel.

Here I am, the last ‘baby’ I have gotten to hold on this side of heaven, so far, turning five! (there are six more in heaven I’ll hold one day) 

When did five become so old? 

I am 46 years old-hormones often off the charts.  I am unsure if I will ever carry another precious gift in my womb, or feel those tiny kicks.  Will I nurture a baby at my breast, in the dark of night when all is quiet?

All those years I almost feared there would be no end.  Is it now I fear this ‘is’ the end?

No, I trust You.  Period.  Over and over You have demonstrated Your faithfulness to us.  I have no doubt You will continue to do so.

But let’s be real, You know my heart.  So, as I put a smile on my face to celebrate my ‘baby’ turning five, there’s a mixture of emotions.  The tears I wipe away are ones of deep gratitude for the privilege of being a mama to him, but also a deeper understanding of the truth that children really and truly are a blessing; a gift from You.  One, I’ll admit, I have taken for granted.  Forgive me.

Happy Birthday, Elijah David!  You bring so much joy!  I love your little boy snuggles each morning.