For years I was afraid to hope. Every time I did hope, it was crushed. Hope seemed to die in me all those years ago. I couldn’t handle the pain, the shock of each devastating event, so I just stopped hoping.
If anything good happened, it hadn’t started with hope in me. I began to expect or ‘hope’ for the worst. At least then I was prepared for what might come next.
Secret hopes from deep in my heart, I simply gave up the hope of ever seeing them.
It’s so sad to me now, to realize I lived that way for so long. I didn’t even recognize that I was. No wonder life was so hard and my heart and my heart unbearably heavy. Yes, the circumstances all those years were excruciating and heart breaking, but when all hope is gone, what else is left?
I didn’t realize that I had laid down my hopes—it’s only now that I sense hope coming alive on the inside of me that I see. Why does hindsight always seem to be so crystal clear?
When you have hope, you feel alive. For so long I didn’t feel alive. It has been happening, this coming to life. Hope is springing up in places I thought were long since dead.
I sense the Lord awakening and watering hopes and dreams I buried along time ago. I sometimes feel like I can’t contain them all. I am humbled. I am in awe. I wait on Him.
Has hope died in you? Has your heart been crushed so many times that hope was left there fatally wounded?
May I pray for you? Drop me an email—I’d be honored. Don’t feel as though you have to bare your soul—just a simple ‘please pray’ is all it will take.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord. (Lamentations 3:21-26)