Thursday, February 21, 2013

I’m Becoming ME!

I notice that I am becoming ME, who I was created to be, and guess what?  I like me.

I get all giddy when I see some new behavior or example of how much I have changed in the last couple of years, since my healing and deliverance.

The chains have fallen off in so many areas.  So many facets of fear, just keep falling off. I notice it in sometimes silly areas.

Like painting a piece of furniture some really fun color just because I love it.  Silly, I know, but what if it doesn’t sell?  What if nobody else likes it?  What if others think I was foolish for painting it that color?  See, those are old lies that still try to whisper, but no longer have a hold on me.  Fear of man, fear of failure, insecurity, self-doubt.

Purchasing Turquoise cowboy boots.  I mean, what self-respecting home school mama does that??  Not much practical about turquoise cowboy boots. Never mind that I LOVE them and they make my heart go pitter-patter.   I have never owned cowboy boots, never mind turquoise boots!  What will people think?  Too attention-getting?  They cost too much, am I really ‘worth’ it?  I mean, really now, a ‘gift’ for me??  So extravagant? Do you hear them?  Fear of man, insecurity, fear.  The “I somehow need to earn things” syndrome.

Waving wildly at the pizza guy on the street corner holding a sign.  Someone in the van said, ‘wave to the guy’. So I did. Wildly and with a huge smile.  Why not?  I think it is okay to enjoy life!  Life is hard and it hurts, often.  Why not lighten up a little, play, be silly.  Things I NEVER would do in the past.  Well, it’s not grown up and mature.

The children wonder what happened to their mama when she starts dancing in the kitchen, hands in the air, hip-bumping, singing, ‘that’s how we do it, that’s how we do it’.  The children reel with laughter. I continue on until we are all giggling.

Speaking the Truth with love and compassion, but also great boldness.  Taking full advantage of each and every platform the Lord gives to share HIS love.  To pray for the hurting even when it is uncomfortable or appears to be a bit bold.  I don’t care anymore.  I am not concerned with what someone else thinks, or if I will mess up or if I am missing God, or if . . . {fill in the blank}

I have been set free!  Free from so many lies.  In those moments when I can be a little crazy and have a little fun, why not??  I know these examples might seem like trivial things, but they really are not.  They are huge when you realize the freedom they represent.

So, I am far from perfect, which I will always be, but I like who He made me to be!  This alone is huge.  Years of self-hatred are being washed away.  Imagine a world, ladies, where we actually ‘love’ ourselves??  Not some vain, self-conceited, arrogant, ‘love ourselves’.  But one in which we embrace who He made us to be, and call ‘good’ what He has already called good.  What a sadness it must be to Him to have us hate ourselves. 

Repent! And renew your mind with who He says you are.  I promise, your whole perspective will change.

Next time, one teeny, tiny fact that lifted a HUGE burden.

What about you, sister?  Does any of this resonate with your heart?

5 comments:

Composed By Grace said...

I am becoming me, too!! Such an excellent place to be. Doing things and possessing things (like a cell phone) that I was not allowed to have, God's blessing with a job earning money from my labor, getting my hair cut in an easier style, and doing a little kitchen dance...from one who does not know how :). Love you bunches, friend!

Kati Potratz said...

I'm callin' that GOOD! :)

cooperkelly4 said...

waahoooooo!
Oh it resonates!
Sounds like you are being led by the Holy Spirit moment by moment and that is the best way to live. Way to go Mama!

Jenn said...

AMEN!!!! Loved this post!

angela said...

Love it!!! I can relate.