Balance? What’s That

Like I shared last time, the Lord has been bringing about so much healing and restoring me to who He created me to be.

One thing that I have ALWAYS struggled with is, balance.  I am a very passionate person.  He created me this way, yet I have fought it for so long. 

You see, just like many things, each gift we have can be taken too far and when used improperly can cause problems.  For instance, being passionate is a wonderful quality.  People like me tend to be the ‘get it done’ type of people.  The ones willing to try new things and throw our whole selves into what ever we are doing.

BUT, the negative is we also can easily fall prey to drivenness, performance and perfectionism.  Where we push so hard we make ourselves sick and hurt those around us.  We push, and we push hard.  We don’t know when to stop, because we ‘need’ to be doing. We expect everyone else to be like us and push just as hard as we do.  You can see the damage the negative side of this could do, can’t you?

The negative side of ‘passionate’ has a great deal to do with how sick I was.  Since being healed and delivered, I still ‘fight’ with being passionate.  I mean, why can’t I just be balanced, you know, each day the same, even keel, just evenly going through my days?  Why do I have such crazy times and then down times?

Through a series of conversations and something I read, I believe the Lord showed me that I had the wrong idea of what balance would look like for me.  It will look all ‘calm and floaty’ for some, but not for me.  The comment that really made it clear was,

“It’s not so much about balance for people like you and me as it is about times of refreshing”  Or something to that effect.

You see, I thrive on the excitement, the chase, the thrill, the adventure.  NOTHING wrong with that.  But, the ‘balance’ to that will be taking times of refreshment, renewal, rejuvenation.  That’s where I blew it in the past.  I believed I was being lazy and unproductive and would push until I dropped.  I began to despise the passion and the needed rest.

Since seeing this, I have been enjoying and embracing who He made me to be and what I need.  I enjoy the ‘thrill’ without guilt and I soak up the ‘rest’ without any shame or guilt.  He leads me into the sometimes crazy, but then He leads me into the rest so I can recharge.  I love the ebb and flow.  I no longer resist who I am and what I need.

Sweet freedom, ladies, sweet freedom.  Do you resist who He has made you to be?  Do you wish you were like {______}?  Maybe you are fighting Him and you don’t even know it.  What is your struggle?