I simply cannot shake these verse, not that I’m trying to.
He sent His Word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare His works with rejoicing. (Psalm 107:20,22)
Thank You. Those two words seem so, so small. How do they express the depth of my awe and gratitude for all You have done and continue to do in our hearts and lives?
The day I woke up healed, free, the feeling was indescribable. How do I put into words what it feels like to be hopeless one day and full of hope the next? Tired, exhaustion beyond any ever experienced before to doing cartwheels and leaping for joy. From migraines to none. From self-hatred to self-acceptance. From despair to life! How does it feel to be alive again? How is it that a woman who loves words as I do find them elusive, just now?
I remember wondering if this ‘high’ would end. If I’d settle into some assemblance of normal and life would become ho-hum again. I must confess, I feared it would.
It has not! Oh, Father, You know there are still many struggles, sometimes daily, but it is different now. I am more alive than I ever have been. It is amazing, how does one feel more and more alive? Aren’t I already alive? The wonder of it all.
The more You reveal Your love, the more You convict of sin, the more You cleanse and wash away, the more I desire You. The more I crave You and Your word. The more I see what I have been delivered from, the more I want to be delivered. Clever how You work that.
My mind spins, sometimes, with joy and excitement. How can it be that You would make this ‘wretch Your treasure’? YOUR treasure??? Seriously?
I see why Charles Wesley penned the words, ‘O for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer’s praise’. Are a thousand tongues enough, though? I don’t know. From the depths of my heart, I pray, ‘assist me to proclaim . . . the honors of Your name’. You broke the power of cancelled sin and gloriously set this prisoner free. Really? Only a thousand tongues to sing Your praise?
Father God, open the eyes of our hearts, give us understanding, wisdom and knowledge. Cause our hearts to see that You and You alone can set us free. You and You alone are our healer. Frustrate all our own plans and schemes that are not from You. Bring us to the point where our only hope in each and every situation is You. We are so slow of heart and stiff-necked, sometimes. Open our eyes to the enemy who so subtlety draws us from You. Set us free! Heal and deliver, we pray. In Jesus mighty and holy name!