I have received one of the greatest gifts a mama could ever receive, this past week. I don’t think I will question anymore, ‘I have no greater joy than to hear my children walk in the truth’. I think it might just be the greatest joy!
It almost feels surreal. I sort of walk around dazed and confused at times. I haven’t been able to sort out all the emotions yet. Of course, extreme joy floods my heart. Also, a letting go of years of emotions and fears I have tried not to feel or attempted to take captive.
I ponder my own walk of faith over the past ten years because doesn’t the surprise and the ‘really?, is this really happening?’ show me the very unbelief in my heart?
Did I really trust his Father would bring him home? I look back and see times of great faith and moments of great doubt, fear and unbelief. I see a faithful God, that even when I was faithless, He was faithful.
When I writhed with fear, He held me tight.
When I was angry, He never once turned away as I ‘beat my fists on His chest’ crying, “why, why!?” “If You had just . . . !”
When my heart was broken and bleeding and one more horrible phone call came, or one more devastating blow~the anchor of my soul held me tight.
The wonder of how to even think now, because for so~many~years it was so dark, seemingly hopeless! It is like needing to reprogram my mind to not brace for the worst~to not be ready to flinch from what might come next.
Yes, I do have to say, in His infinite mercy, I may have been given one of the greatest gifts this past week. While He daily, moment by moment loads us with benefits, every once and awhile it is a huge, whopper of a gift, and I humbly lift up trembling hands . . .
While I could list 100’s of things in this weeks edition of my ‘One Thousand Gifts’, I will reserve the space for one very wonderful and holy gift.
- The homecoming of our (ex) prodigal and his lovely bride!
Eucharisteo always precedes the miracle.