Friday, October 16, 2009

Tears On the Windows

One last thing I wanted to share concerning Beracah. I feel the need to move on, as these past few days have been very emotional. Yesterday was very difficult, physically and emotionally. Bearing one another's burdens can be very sad. What a privilege to read about and pray for all the women who have lost babies and have/are grieving. Story after story told of God's faithfulness and mercy! Thank you all who took part in this special time. Below is something I wrote the day after we found out our baby died. Also, below is a sweet poem my 13 year old daughter wrote.

The rain rarely comes from this direction.
It seems odd to walk into my room and see the raindrops hitting the window.
They run down like the tears on my face.

I see the beautiful plant your papa bought for me.
The flowers are so strikingly vivid; oranges, yellows, and a distinct lime green middle.
It sits there right in front of the window that seems to be crying with me.

I don’t know why it stops me in my tracks. I try to take a picture;
I doubt it captures what I see, or what I want it to say.
I think my heart desperately wants to find something,
anything, to somehow mark your short existence here on earth.

I didn’t even really know you were there until you were gone.
How can you miss something you didn’t even know existed?
For now, I don’t want the rain to stop,
I don’t want the tears to stop,
I want to hold this sadness, just a little longer,
it feels like it’s all I have left of you.


Fifteen

Six they are in heaven
Nine down here on earth;
Six up in heaven
They died before their birth.

Jeremiah and Ephraim, two little boys
Baby B the twin,
He left without a noise.

Two they have no name,
One more is left you see,
It’s name is little Blessing
He is on God’s knee.

Though nine be here on earth,
Six more in heaven unseen,
Though only nine right here there be,
Of us there are fifteen.
(By Victoria)

11 comments:

J said...

Michelle,
I thank God upon my every remembrance of you. You are a precious and dear sister in Christ and I am so thankful for your life, for your transparency. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for making time to post. Thank you. You have challenged me in enormous ways. I feel like I have entered the blogging world of Titus 2...you and so many of your blogging friends are encouraging me to love my husband and children and to be busy at home. Thank you. Thank you so much. I am praying for you and your husband and your children. May God bring comfort and peace to your hearts as only He can.

With love and thanksgiving,

J

busymomof10 said...

Michelle,

What a beautiful poem you wrote! the Lord has gifted you with great insight and wisdom and a beautiful way with words to express the overflowings of your heart! You bless so many of us through your transparent sharing of your joys and sorrows. May the Lord bless you abundantly and raise you up to serve your family and Him with renewed vigor!

Much love and admiration,
Elizabeth

Stacie, A Firefighter's Wife said...

What a wonderful way that God speaks to us. I love how creative He is, don't you?

I thank you for linking us all up again. I was truly blessed with the many comments of love and support left on my blog.

Have a wonderful day, Michelle!

PS, if you want to laugh a little today, check out my blog!

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

What beautiful, meaningful poetry. I thank you for providing a place for moms to acknowledge and grieve their glory babies.

God Bless,
Jackie

Mrs. FSG said...

Lovely poem!

I have lost 5 little ones, including a stillbirth, Nathaniel Blake. Every single one I named and grieved. The Lord is there.

Camille said...

Such a blessing to join in with you here...the Lord IS using you...ALL GLORY TO GOD! Nothing is by chance...no meeting...no baby...no situation...NOTHING...God IS in Sovereign control and turns EVERYTHING for our good and for His Glory!
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
In His Love,
Camille

Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings said...

Thank you so much for sharing what you wrote the day you found out. It really touched my heart and is much of what I felt when I miscarried.

Praying for you and your family!

carebear7951 said...

Your writings as well as your daughter's are awesome! That little baby (and the others before him/her) were/are well loved. **HUGS**

zimbousa said...

On October 23rd our beloved son Brendon died from Brain cancer which had spread all over his brain during a short space of time. He was only 5 years old. We miss him more each day or month that goes by. I do know his short life was for a reason - especially to make us stop and think about who Jesus was and what is a relationship with Him is all about. Brendon is remembered mostly by his family but a lot of his friends have already forgotten who he was. This saddens me. His smile could melt you in 5 seconds and make you change your mind! If you want to read more about him and his cancer buddies in heaven and on earth read his blog at
www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight.
Thanks for letting me share both here and a few tears today.

Camille said...

Zimbousa ~ your comment touched my heart...may the Lord draw you to Himself through all this sorrow! What an incredible journey you have been on!

Michelle ~ The hymn "Day by Day" was on my heart after I learned of your most recent sorrow...what a blessing these hymns are...such deep truths! Often they were written out of deep experiences...many of sorrow. We are so privileged to glean from these godly men and women of the past. I am thinking through another post on another one of my favourites hymns with the story behind its special meaning for me. You are right...the Lord is so good and tenderly leads us along!
Blessings,
Camille

Katrina said...

What a sweet poem. It brought tears to my eyes.

I, too, have a baby in Heaven. I have nine here on earth, and one recently in Heaven. We were expecting baby #10 this Christmas, but sadly lost that little one at 11 weeks. Our first loss. It's heartbreaking. But I find comfort knowing that he or she is still a part of our family, and although we never got to meet here on earth, we will all be together one day in Heaven.

Your blog and your family are beautiful. Blessings to you,

Katrina in CA
www.mommyninetimes.blogspot.com