Thursday, April 29, 2010

How Can I Trust Him?

A question came up recently that challenged me for a few minutes. I began to question what I knew about God and wondered if I had been wrong somehow. I started to really be concerned that maybe I couldn't trust Him in the way I thought I could. Maybe I was deceived somehow or in error with my theology.

All of this questioning happened in seconds and there was a feeling of dread that came along with this whole thought process. I am thankful that, within minutes, the Lord gave me discernment to see that this was an attack from the enemy. Not me and my thoughts, but thoughts of doubt and fear from somebody else. The more the Lord reveals and teaches me right now, the more these little attacks come. It is almost funny how obvious they are once you recognize them.

I sensed the Lord encouraging me to write out my response to the question of 'How can I trust Him now if He just stood by and let all this evil happen to me?' For some reason I felt as if I was responding to a little girl, maybe the little girl in me, maybe a little girl in my life, or maybe the little girl in you.

Oh, Sweetie, I know it is hard, but we have to trust that, no matter what we feel or think, God loves us. We cannot question why He allows things because we simply do not know all things, as He does. We need to believe, choose to believe that He loves us with an everlasting love; a perfect love.

We can question what doesn't make sense, or we can choose to trust His Word. HE IS LOVE! Perfect love. Our love or our understanding of love is not perfect, so we cannot try to reconcile our idea of love, and what we think love should look like, with His. We have to believe; trust. If His Word says, He keeps you and that you are the apple of His eye, then you are, whether you understand it or not. His love is perfect; yours or your idea of it is not.

He is also Wisdom! We can never attain His perfect and infinite Wisdom. We can see it and walk in a measure of it, but we will never be perfect in Wisdom and understanding, as He is. Again, we can choose to trust Him in His infinite wisdom, or we can question and try to make it all fit with our finite minds.

He is also completely and utterly sovereign. He is God. He gets to do whatever He wants, and this would be dangerous unless He was perfect in love and infinite in wisdom and true to His Word. We can choose to fight against or question Him, or we can say, 'you know, I am not sure why this or that , but I am sure of my God and what He says.'

It might seem hurtful, unloving or uncaring if you think, 'why would He allow me to be hurt in that way?' We can question that, be hurt and angry because our mind and heart doesn't understand it, and then be tormented. We can be angry and turn our back on our ONLY help, because we don't understand why. OR, we can choose our thoughts, we can choose to think, 'I don't know how to reconcile why You would let that happen to me, but You are God, You are perfect love, You are infinitely wise. You are completely sovereign. I won't fight with you, I will choose, no matter how bad it hurts, I will choose to believe Your Word over what my mind is telling me. I know on this side of eternity I only see part of the picture. I have to choose. I can choose to trust even if my heart and emotions are screaming to the contrary. Your Word is true and every other thought, emotion or feeling that tries to question what Your Word says about You, is a lie. I must choose You! I must choose to believe Your WORD and trust You.'


Connie said...

It does seem like the enemy will use anything to get us off course. Our trust in God is so basic to our relationship with Him! If we can not trust Him, why trust the enemy?

Aylin said...

I have been struggling with this very thing since our son was stillborn 2 years ago. It's like the little nagging questions won't go away. But maybe it is simple, and there is nothing more to understand than you have to make a choice to trust and believe. My husband used to be such a spiritual rock but when I talk to him about this, he'll say things like well, God doesn't care and he wants us to be miserable. I don't know if he's kidding around or what. ( He claims to be joking, but why does he always say things like this?) I am so grateful for the children I do have, especially my one year old, but I just haven't been able to trust like I used to! I'm going to ponder this post. Thanks for sharing it.

Cranberry Morning said...

Amen, Michelle!! God is so very 'other' that it is impossible for us to always understand the 'why' of things. But although we don't know the 'why,' the more we know of God's character, the more we realize he is absolutely trustworthy. He is God of the Universe, and always does what is right, no matter how that jars our brain and heart at times. I love the last chapters of Job, starting with ch. 38. When God says, 'Where were you...'

Jenn said...

Michelle, thank you so much for typing out your response. I have been dealing with similar attacks lately. I just keep coming back to the thought, "God is God and I am not". I may not fully understand His ways, but that is what faith is all about!

Natalieh said...


Michelle (She Looketh Well) said...

Connie, good point. I didn't even see that the enemy was trying to knock out my foundational beliefs! Getting to the place where I am in trusting Him has been a journey and I was so surprised to see myself questioning it, but it wasn't long before the enemy was exposed!


I understand your struggle and I am sorry for your pain. I hope you don't think I was trivializing trusting God. It has not always been easy and it is a journey. He will bring you to a place of complete trust in Him, keep seeking Him and His healing for your heart. It helps to just make the choice to believe whether you feel like it or not, take the thoughts captive that say you can't and replace them with the truth! I am praying for you. If you have questions or need prayer, please contact me.

Michelle (She Looketh Well) said...

Cranberry Morning, I love those chapters too, was just reading them!

Jenn, you are so right, if we understood it all where would faith come in?

Michelle said...

I had two real crisis's of faith in my life and both of them lasted a while.

I never had much of a problem with trials and grief in general. I've always known that this earth is meant to be a battlefield and God is training us for eternity.

These times were different. You used the word tormented. There is no other word to describe them.

It's awfully dark when they come but God is so faithful and brought me through both of them.

I praise God that He has got you through this time as well.

Keep Thinking Truth, even through the tears.

kanishk said...

I love those chapters too, was just reading them!
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