A question came up recently that challenged me for a few minutes. I began to question what I knew about God and wondered if I had been wrong somehow. I started to really be concerned that maybe I couldn't trust Him in the way I thought I could. Maybe I was deceived somehow or in error with my theology.
All of this questioning happened in seconds and there was a feeling of dread that came along with this whole thought process. I am thankful that, within minutes, the Lord gave me discernment to see that this was an attack from the enemy. Not me and my thoughts, but thoughts of doubt and fear from somebody else. The more the Lord reveals and teaches me right now, the more these little attacks come. It is almost funny how obvious they are once you recognize them.
I sensed the Lord encouraging me to write out my response to the question of 'How can I trust Him now if He just stood by and let all this evil happen to me?' For some reason I felt as if I was responding to a little girl, maybe the little girl in me, maybe a little girl in my life, or maybe the little girl in you.
Oh, Sweetie, I know it is hard, but we have to trust that, no matter what we feel or think, God loves us. We cannot question why He allows things because we simply do not know all things, as He does. We need to believe, choose to believe that He loves us with an everlasting love; a perfect love.
We can question what doesn't make sense, or we can choose to trust His Word. HE IS LOVE! Perfect love. Our love or our understanding of love is not perfect, so we cannot try to reconcile our idea of love, and what we think love should look like, with His. We have to believe; trust. If His Word says, He keeps you and that you are the apple of His eye, then you are, whether you understand it or not. His love is perfect; yours or your idea of it is not.
He is also Wisdom! We can never attain His perfect and infinite Wisdom. We can see it and walk in a measure of it, but we will never be perfect in Wisdom and understanding, as He is. Again, we can choose to trust Him in His infinite wisdom, or we can question and try to make it all fit with our finite minds.
He is also completely and utterly sovereign. He is God. He gets to do whatever He wants, and this would be dangerous unless He was perfect in love and infinite in wisdom and true to His Word. We can choose to fight against or question Him, or we can say, 'you know, I am not sure why this or that , but I am sure of my God and what He says.'
It might seem hurtful, unloving or uncaring if you think, 'why would He allow me to be hurt in that way?' We can question that, be hurt and angry because our mind and heart doesn't understand it, and then be tormented. We can be angry and turn our back on our ONLY help, because we don't understand why. OR, we can choose our thoughts, we can choose to think, 'I don't know how to reconcile why You would let that happen to me, but You are God, You are perfect love, You are infinitely wise. You are completely sovereign. I won't fight with you, I will choose, no matter how bad it hurts, I will choose to believe Your Word over what my mind is telling me. I know on this side of eternity I only see part of the picture. I have to choose. I can choose to trust even if my heart and emotions are screaming to the contrary. Your Word is true and every other thought, emotion or feeling that tries to question what Your Word says about You, is a lie. I must choose You! I must choose to believe Your WORD and trust You.'