I see harshness in my children as they interact with each other. I pray and ask God for wisdom, saying, "look, do You see how they are acting? What should I do?" The answer seems slow in coming, but as the days go on I begin to see myself react harshly with the children. I see impatience and indifference in myself towards them. What?! Could it be they are modeling what they see in me?!
Nobody seems to follow our schedule, I grouse. Our life feels so chaotic, never the same everyday. I can't seem to get on top of it. How do I make them do what they are supposed to do when they are supposed to do it?! Again, I cry out for wisdom. I begin to see Mama tends to go off and do her own thing whenever she has a chance. Sneaking in what she wants to do instead of what the schedule has on it. Hmmmmm, could it be me?
Everyone in this family seems so distracted and going their own way! Why is everyone so focused on their own agenda instead of serving each other. Why are they so "self" focused instead of being "other" focused? Lord, what is it? The Lord, once again shines His light and I see a very distracted Mama who, every chance she gets pursues her own agenda, not the family's agenda. All in the name of learning to "serve" the family better, mind you, but distracted none the less.
These older children tend to scamper off and 'just real quick' check something online, email, ect. Hmmmm, I think I know where this is going. ;-) Does Mama scamper off to 'just real quick' check email, blogs, ect.?
I am not at all saying that all of my children's sins and weaknesses are my fault. I understand we all were born with a sin nature. I am just giving you a glimpse at what the Lord has been showing me lately. I am in a very difficult season right now as He shines His glorious light on the dark places of my heart. It is also a most precious time because the very fact that He is disciplining me is proof of His great love for me! (See Hebrews 12:5-13) So, while this time of discipline seems painful, afterwards it will produce a harvest of righteousness.
Are you struggling with certain areas in your life right now? Have you cried out for wisdom? Is is possible that the struggle has more to do with you that it does with the other person or thing?
Lord Jesus, thank You that You love us way too much to let us stay the same! Thank You for the Holy Spirit Who lovingly convicts and brings Truth to our hearts. Continue to shine Your Light in our lives, we so desperately want to be like Jesus!