For man was not created from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created on account of or for the benefit of woman, but woman on account of and for the benefit of man.
(1 Cor. 11:8, 9)
Let's say you are married to a wonderfully thoughtful man. He truly lays down his life for you in a biblical sense.He loves you greatly and lives to please you, love you and make you happy. He is tender and sweet and almost always considers you, your ideas and desires. Yes, he is sinful, and at times can be selfish like the rest of us, but for the most part he treats you like a queen.
Let's say you are married to a pretty self focused man. While a good husband and father, he is not very considerate of how you feel. He might not really lay down his life for you. He loves you, for sure, but it seems it is always about him, what he wants, what he thinks. He might not be all that tender towards you and your feelings. You may have long ago accepted this and just tend to go you own way.
In both these scenarios, I see the same possible trap that we wives could fall into, just coming from different directions. Here is the trap; it seems easy to become very self focused, that is, me minded.
What struck me about this scripture is that the woman was created for the benefit of man! ( I'm not denying that there is "the man's part" in having a truly godly, biblical marriage, I'm just speaking to us women ;-)
I see in the first picture it being very easy to just, sort of, get into a pattern of letting it be all about 'me' because this type of husband so generously lavishes his love . It can be easy to almost unknowingly take advantage of this and just get lazy about being a benefit to him!
In the second picture, it seems easy to just pull back, harden the heart a little and focus on self because, 'hey no one else is!' Are we staying wrapped up in our own agenda instead of truly seeking to be a benefit to our husbands?
I understand we all fit somewhere in between these two extremes. I also acknowledge some of these issues can be very complex and there may be some serious hurts. I am not trying to be overly simplistic or insensitive to the wounds you may have. I just want to encourage us to remember it's not all about us.
We were actually created for them, not them for us.
Prayerfully search your heart this week and see if there might just be some areas that you have lost sight of why, and for whom, you were created.
Lord Jesus, open the eyes of our understanding. Show us any area that we have become self-focused in our marriage. Thank You for Your beautiful design in marriage and thank you for the opportunity to be a 'benefit' to our husbands.