Today, I want to praise and glorify God for an amazing gift He has given me. You see, besides the incomprehensible gift of salvation through His Son Jesus Christ, for which I am so thankful, the gift of marriage is the biggest and most wonderful gift He has given me.
1 Peter 3:2
1 Peter 3:2
". . . your [a] reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him--to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. "
As I attempt to praise, honor, esteem, appreciate and adore my husband, let me preface it all by saying I recognize that anything good or worthy of praise in him is from the Lord. And let me tell you that Brian would be the first to tell you "it's not him, it's the Lord". So, all praise and glory goes to God the Father and Jesus Christ, His Son.
When I met this man I was a scared and hurting little girl in a grown up body. I had spent several years chasing after and longing for love. I desperately wanted to be loved and cherished. I made countless poor choices that left the wounds in my heart only deeper and the ache only stronger. A very broken person.
Brian, equally broken and desperate to be loved, took notice of the 'cute little waitress with the beautiful smile'. (his words) He pursued, I feigned ambivalence. I was unwilling to reveal my attraction to him for fear of falling into my old patterns. It didn't last long though, it became apparent very quickly something huge was growing.
As we look back, we see how God took two broken individuals with unique and jagged edges and put us together to make us ONE. One whole from two broken, so perfectly fitted together.
There is much grace and redemption woven throughout our love story. I hope to someday write it all down, it is beyond beautiful. Praise to the Lord.
Today I want to share just a little of how God uses this man to love and heal and mend that little girl's wounded heart.
Brian truly lays down his life for me everyday. He serves me, loves me and encourages me.
He listens to my heart, really listens. I talk a lot! We share everything with each other. There is nothing we don't talk about. No matter how 'personal', how intimate or vulnerable, no topic or feeling is excluded in what we talk about. He not only listens, but he really hears my heart, and he still loves me.
I came with a lot of insecurities about myself physically and intellectually. He has adored this body of mine through numerous pregnancies and many ups and downs on the scale. He even loves the road map of stretchmarks and c-section scars, assuring me that they represent our love manifest in each one of our children. When I wanted to hide, he pulled me into the light and assured me of his love and acceptance.
When I felt so dumb compared to others and even him, he believed I was smart and would tell me so. I've grown to believe that I am not so dumb after all.
He protects me from others and even myself, when needed. He defends me fiercely and guards me vigilantly. When he sees me choosing a path that could harm me, he gently lets me know and encourages redirection.
He serves and blesses me in so many ways. This man 'draws' a shower for me every night, makes sure I have towels, and while I shower, he fills my cups that hold my supplements for the next day.
He puts toothpaste on my toothbrush each morning. Most mornings he prepares my tea and makes sure I get to my quiet time. Which, by the way, he recognizes as essential to my well being and always encourages it and lets me have as much time as I need. I feel, at least in part, this is him 'washing me with the water of the word'.
Through many pregnancies, births and surgeries he prays for me, holds my hand, wipes my brow, even showering me after my surgeries when I am in too much pain to do it myself. He prays for me each morning, with me before he leaves for work, and anytime I am crying, in pain or just plain losing it!
He is such a man of his word. His integrity is something I have admired since the day I met him. He is my 'steady' man, strong and faithful. He bears my burdens with me. He picks me up when I have fallen.
He will be very uncomfortable with this post because he will be saying "yes, but . . ." at each paragraph. He is well aware of his shortcomings and weaknesses. I am aware of them too, I am not trying to say this man is perfect, he is not. But, I will tell you that he is perfect for me!
As I read back over this post, what keeps coming to my mind is 'husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church'. This is what this flawed husband seeks to do, and does very well, everyday of his life. I see so much of my Father's character in him, love, acceptance, strength, wisdom, faithfulness. . .
I am at a loss for words to describe the depth of my thankfulness to my merciful Father for the gift of this marriage. I fall to my knees, remembering that scared and wounded little girl, who still, in part, resides within me, and praise and worship You, O Lord, for Your goodness poured out to me in Brian.
This is by no means an exhaustive description of the wonder of this man to me, just a little glimpse into the beauty of this amazing gift of marriage.
Happy Anniversary, Honey. I love you . . . ALWAYS!