Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
Continuing on with the theme from last week about us "being created for him", I thought to touch on a sensitive and private subject.
In our effort to be wise women and true help meets, we need to seek to know what our husband's needs are in all areas. We have discussed other areas in previous posts, but today I want to gently remind us to discover their needs concerning intimacy and seek to meet them.
Chances are their needs are probably a little different than ours, especially with all the ups and downs of hormones, births of babies, breastfeeding, as well as all the demands of being a mama and a a keeper of the home. Not to mention, God wired them differently than us, and that is a good thing! But, let's not use all these as an excuse to become focused on ourselves.
Over the years I have learned a lot. I have been blessed by a very patient husband. We both had loads of baggage brought into our marriage from past sinful relationships. It has not always been easy, but God's mercy is so amazing! We often marvel at how special and blessed our marriage bed is, because we certainly do not deserve it based on our prior choices.
One thing that has helped me, by God's grace, is take my eyes off of me and how 'I' am 'feeling' and seek to 'love' my husband. I need to recognize his advances are just his God-given desires and needs, as well as his desire to love me, and God made ME to meet them.
I can choose to respond in a selfless way!
I have found if I purpose to please him, my body begins to line up and I soon forget I was tired or had a headache or whatever my excuse was. And you know what, even if it doesn't line up that night, that is still okay, my desire should be to please him!
It is a matter of being self-LESS! It is 'true' love according to 1 Corinthians 13.
I would like to add that this post is meant to encourage us to take our eyes off of ourselves in yet another area. I once heard a message similar to this, only it went to the extreme of putting the burden on the wife, at a time when I was very, very overwhelmed having just had my third baby in less than three years. (numbers 6, 7 and 8, mind you) I was guilt ridden for a very long time over that message. There was no conviction from the Holy Spirit, just condemnation from the enemy. Please, I beg of you, do not let this bring condemnation. If you are in a season of your life that the Lord is NOT speaking to you about this, please just file it for another time. The last thing I intend to do is to bring condemnation or place burdens on you.
Lord Jesus, you have given us an amazing gift in our relationship with our husbands. Help us Lord to give ourselves entirely to our husband. Bring healing where there needs to be healing. Bring conviction where it is needed. Give us wisdom to know what they need and the desire to lay down our lives and truly love them and seek to meet their needs.