Sunday, July 12, 2009

Marriage Monday "Principle of Unity"

Today I wanted to share a principle that we use in our marriage regarding decision making. I was reminded of it as we are possibly looking at some HUGE changes for our family right now and we are seeking the Lord with fervor as we want to know His perfect will for us.

I am talking about what I will call the 'principle of unity'. Every huge decision, most medium to big decisions and even many smaller decisions we use this principle. We believe the Lord leads us through His word, the Spirit, circumstances and this 'principle of unity'.

We have committed to not moving on something big unless the Lord brings us into agreement. We trust that if there is no peace between us than that is the Lord guiding us. There have been countless things that I was so sure of, that Brian was not, so we didn't do it. I can honestly say many of those times the Lord has graciously showed me why it wasn't the best for us. When we just can't seem to agree on something we take a step back from our desires and look to God to guide us. We almost always see that later He brought us into agreement, fine tuned our desires and led us to His best.

A good friend encouraged me recently to not let this 'lack of unity' frustrate me. It is easy to get frustrated when he looks at something I think is too big, too small, too much, or too whatever. But I need to rest in God and trust Him to line us up at the right time. We marvel at how He uses this 'disunity' to steer us to the right path.

While I am fully submitted to Brian as the head of our home and would submit even one of these huge decisions to him if he asked, we see this as living out the verse:

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21)

And I can say that if he did require me to just submit to his decision even if I didn't agree I could trust that that is exactly what God would want me to do and even if it turned out to be a bad decision, God would work it out for our good.

It is a mutual respect, a humbling of ourselves and a submitting to God to lead us.

I understand that not all marriages work this way and I am in no way encouraging us women to stand up to our husbands and demand that we be heard. If this is not how you and your husband makes decisions, it is not your job to make it so, okay? This is just a principle that works for us.
Also, we do not use this principle to 'hold out till the other one cave', it is just a way of letting the Lord lead us through our unity.
Lord Jesus, teach us to humble ourselves to You and to our husbands. Helps us to not push our agenda and to wait for Yours.


Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...

I thought that was really good, Michelle.

Valencia said...

We are at a point in our marriage where this has really been coming into play. Thanks for posting this, I really needed to read this today. Instead of looking at it as a hinderance, I've been seeing joint decisions as two heads are better than one.

Linda said...

Thank you as well.