Monday, May 11, 2009

Marriage Monday: Love Your Man

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

I think the above verse is our starting point for sure! My husband has put these verses into a little chart with three columns. First column: Loves is. . . love is kind, ect. Second column: Love does not. . .keep record of wrong, ect. Third column: Love. . . always hopes, ect. He then has placed each of the points in the verse under its proper column. He reads it each day and when a difficult situation comes up he pulls this out and begins to go through it asking himself, am I being kind, am I being patient, ect.

Boy, can I sure learn from this man. What if we, as wives did this type of thing in regards to our husbands? I think it is an excellent idea. Anyone up for trying this idea this week?

Another thing the Lord has showed me is to find out how my husband receives love. There is a book called Love Languages, by Gary Chapman that is helpful to figure out how your husband is 'wired' to receive love.

For example, in the book, Mr. Chapman breaks them down into five catergories. Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation. It is not necessary to know which of these is your husband's love language. I truly believe the Word of God is all we need and if you obey that, you will be speaking your husbands love language. But, it doesn't hurt to learn about and study your husband. It's part of 'building' your marriage. You can read a description of each of the languages here.

One way to find out just how to love this man is to ask him! Simple enough. . . well, you might need to gently coax it out of him if he is not a talker, but he will probably give you some insight into what is important to him.

My husband has often said he doesn't care what the house looks like when he gets home, he just wants a happy mama and children. He would rather I sit on the floor and play with the children all day than to come home to a perfectly cleaned house and know I didn't spend time with the children. Not that he doesn't like it picked up some ;-)

Does a hot cooked meal say 'I love you' or a peaceful and orderly home?

Would he like to see you in something other than your sweatpants and t-shirt?

What are his expectations with the house, meals, physical intimacy? Ask him. If you do so tenderly and lovingly expressing your desire to love him, my guess is that alone will say "I love you".

Do you know your husband's love language? Have you asked him what is important to him? What are some ways you could 'love' your husband this week?


Buildeth Her House said...

This sooo speaks to me! I am really an acts of service wife, but my husband is a physical touch husband. I'm still learning all that he requires of me as his wife. He values attention way more than he does an orderly home. I'm still learning his likes and dislikes, but with the Lord in our hearts, we will be on the same page.

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

Very encouraging post. Thank you for sharing it.

Mary at Civilla's Cyber Cafe said...

I've finally been able to get to your site! My internet provider has been having problems! Cute grandson!! Lost your e-mail.