Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Habitual Repentance

Do you ever feel like the only real habits you are making are the ones where you only deepen the ruts of the very habits your wish to change?

Just days ago I read . . .

. . . the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning

. . . Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

. . . and in his lips there is a burning fire.

. . . moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.

(yes, all in one day!)

Today I read the words, ‘Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt.’ (Col. 3:)

But my words were not seasoned with grace and salt, but pepper, hot pepper. They sting and hurt and made baby blue eyes run with tears.

Why is it I can make a habit of prayer, scripture memory, and schedule and structure, but my words; my mouth, (my heart, really, for out of the heart the mouth speaks) is so undisciplined, so habitually peppery?

So, I do all I know to do with this seemingly life long battle with harshness, peppery words. I cry out the my Father in repentance. I seek forgiveness from the teary baby blues. I habitually repent, draw nigh, humble myself in His sight. With trembling and faltering hope I believe that He will draw nigh to me. He gives grace to the humble. He cleanses me from all unrighteousness. Whether I ‘see’ it or not, I believe I am being changed from glory to glory.

Ah, this is the habit being formed, not the usual guilt, shame and days of beating myself up, often slipping into hopelessness and despair. But now, since the day He set me free, I run quickly to Him in repentance for grace and mercy and have hope of change.

Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD.

Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.

If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?

But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.

And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities. (Psalm 130)


Missionfieldof5 said...

Big Sigh....Oh Michelle, your post echoes my heart.

I just finished posting a question about this on another blog.

What do you do when you fail the mark when you purpose in your heart that your words will be kind and loving and they do not come out that do you reconcile that with what is preached that if you repent from the action you will not do it anymore and that if you are SAVED you will not continue to commit the sin....

I anguish over this because, I have not had the victory, and neither has God in this area of my life.

Sigh....I do know the one thing I keep doing is going to the Lord in prayer and in repentence.

cooperkelly4 said...

(echoing the sigh here too)This is one of my main areas that I am constantly trying to rule over. I know I have gotten victory (baby steps), but I desire freedom from this sin! Running to repentance too...

Erin said...

Thank you so much for sharing today. Your words say what has been on my heart lately- it's all well and good to pursue those new habits, but it's changing the ingrained bad habits that is so difficult yet so necessary.

Kati Potratz said...

Ditto. Thanks Michelle.

Craig said...

I came from Ann’s

First - I heard of Joanne – and have prayed and will continue.

Habitual repentance – at once convicting and sorrowful - and motivating and freeing. But only if our heart is right. Yours so clearly is.

Thank you for this

God Bless and keep you and yours.

Cranberry Morning said...

Living a life of repentance. It's what brings us joy each day as we remember who we are and who He is.

Renee Ann said...

I love this line in your post: "Since the day He set me free, I run quickly to Him in repentance . . ." So glad He meets us with open arms. Lovely post! (I'm visiting from Doorkeeper at Blessings!