Casting blame or throwing a pity party should never be the reason to look back. It does help to see it all, I think, because it really makes it clear to me that it was NOT the person(s) who were ultimately responsible for the rejections and pain in my life.
Yes, people have rejected us over the years, but the truth of the matter is, it is the enemy who is the master mind, not your mother or your father or whomever. Once we have recognized the rejection and pain in our lives, the very first thing we need to do is forgive. Realize that it was not really them, they too were rejected. You know the old saying, ‘hurting people hurt people’. This is so true.
Forgiving someone does not invalidate the rejection, nor does it nullify their responsibility. Their responsibility is NOT our responsibility though! We are commanded to forgive. The following are but a few of the many verses on forgiveness in the Word of God. We simply must forgive if we desire or expect healing and wholeness. Period.
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your transgressions. (Mark 11:25-26)
Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. (Matthew 6:12)
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Forgiveness is the first and most important step out of rejection and into wholeness. (the subject of forgiveness is beyond the scope of this post, forgiveness, in and of itself could take a whole series of posts!)
I am going to share some things that have been so helpful to me as I am walking out of rejection. I want to point out though, that this is just that, a ‘walk out’. Another word for it might be ‘sanctification’. I personally do NOT buy into the ‘say this prayer, follow these steps and poof! you are walking in freedom.’ It is a daily walk, each step with your Savior.
*You are here, on this earth at this time and in this place because it is the desire of YOUR Father that it is so. No matter what other people have said or think of you, He desires that you be. The sooner you get that and accept it the better. The Creator of everything desires for you to be here.
*You need to accept once and for all that you are loved by God! To believe otherwise is a lie and must be cast down, taken captive and replaced with the Truth. (I will share scriptures to replace these lies in another post)
*Self-rejection absolutely has to go! Do you want to be the one to tell your Father He did a bad job? Just so you know, “woe” is not a very good thing in the Bible.
Woe to him who strives with his Maker!--a worthless piece of broken pottery among other pieces equally worthless [and yet presuming to strive with his Maker]! Shall the clay say to him who fashions it, What do you think you are making? or, Your work has no handles? (Isaiah 45:9)
*Recognize and refuse to take in other people’s rejection. Yep, that is why it is a walk out. I don’t imagine anybody gets this overnight. It is a journey, and you are just a girl!
*Cultivate your relationship with the Godhead, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. You are so loved and cherished, it is insanity to believe otherwise, yet we do, don’t we?
The Lord appeared from of old to me [Israel], saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you. (Jeremiah 31:3)
*Make your desire to be free from Rejection, to be whole, known to your Father. Come boldly before His throne and make your requests known (Heb. 4:16)
You might wonder, ‘how in the world can I ever be free from this, it hurts so badly.’ The pain can be so intense and raw, can’t it? Can I just tell you, that from my experience, once the spirit behind the rejection is gone the pain all but goes away? The more you walk out of this, the more the pain goes. There are certain areas that are completely ‘pain free’ for me right now. There are a few left that are a bit tender, but the pain, the deep pain is gone. It’s okay, there is freedom. The Truth shall make you free. You have to trust that God does not lie! When He says that you are Chosen, Holy and Dearly loved, He means it.
God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? (Numbers 23:19)
*We have to make a quality decision to choose to receive the Father’s love. We have to make a quality decision to love ourselves and love others. It is time to grow up, pull up our big girl panties and choose to believe the Truth. (phew, I needed that)
Last, but certainly not least, repentance is key to freedom. I have written on this before, it might be helpful to review that post before you go on with the following prayer. We need to take responsibility and repent for listening to these lies and believing them.
The following is simply a ‘model’ prayer. By no means a ‘formula’. Speak to God from your heart, this is just to get you started. He is far more concerned with your heart than He is with your words or just how perfectly you pray.
Remember to forgive all those who have wounded you before you begin.
“Father God, I recognize and take responsibility for allowing a spirit of rejection to keep me in bondage. I repent for listening to the enemy’s lies, for allowing others to determine my value, for believing I am unworthy . . . “
“In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I tell a spirit of rejection to go, I will NOT be listening to your lies anymore.”
It is crucial that we fill our hearts and minds with the Truth. It does no good to forgive, repent and remove, only to listen to the same old lies. We must, must, must renew our minds. We are transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12)
That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. (Ephesian 4:22-24)
Notice the bridge from the old to the new? Renewing your mind. Lord willing, the next post will be, “Demolishing Rejection With The Truth”