Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Feeling Barren

Oh, my, do I miss ‘here’.  Where exactly is ‘here’?  This blog, sharing my heart, writing.  This place where I can open up and pour out what is going on inside.

This season of life is unlike any other.  The hours and minutes are completely and utterly filled up.  Between homeschooling five “grades”  (six, if you count intentional time with my preschooler) and this new business venture the Lord seems to be orchestrating, phew! 

I know this is just a season and it is no more important than any of the other season the Lord has had me in.  Because of past issues with performance and striving,     ( one more link too) I have to guard my heart against feeling better about myself because I am more ‘productive’ right now.  I am blessed to be doing this, but THIS is not who I am and does not make me any more valuable.  I was just as valuable to my Father when I was in a major season of rest and seemingly unproductive! 

You are precious to Him no matter what season you are in.  you are valuable because of who He created you to be and WHOSE you are, not because of what you do.

What I really snuggled up here to share is an encouragement the Lord gave me.  Last week as my seventeenth year of homeschooling was looming big and I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer, He showed up! 

I was pouring my heart out to Him, telling Him just how numb or empty I was feeling.  (This pace has left me a bit shallow in my thoughts and feelings.  I am a deep thinker and deep feeler and I don’t have time for either right now, which is probably good, keeps me out of trouble Winking smile

I expressed to Him that He was going to need to do a work in my heart as I just didn’t have it in me.  I was reading through the Psalms, looking for some little nugget, as my quiet time has been rather ‘empty’ feeling too, and I read

                     Psalm 113

Praise ye the LORD. Praise, O ye servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD.

Blessed be the name of the LORD from this time forth and for evermore.

From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised.

The LORD is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.

Who is like unto the LORD our God, who dwelleth on high,

Who humbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!

He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill;

That he may set him with princes, even with the princes of his people.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

There it was.  Did you see it?  I have always read that last verse about the barren woman to be literally a barren woman.  But that morning, feeling extremely “barren” on the inside, empty of love and joy, numb and almost zoned out, this verse took on new meaning.

I was the ‘barren’ woman and HE, HE maketh me to keep my house and maketh me a joyful mother of children!  I chose right then and there to believe it and claim it as my own.  Do you know that each day since that Monday morning has been gloriously joyful and full of love and excitement to be a keeper of this house and a joyful mother to these children??

Oh, friends, He is so faithful.  I am not for one second saying that life is perfect (as if there is perfection) or my days are totally stress-free.  What I am saying is that He heard the cry of this tired mama’s heart.  He not only heard it, he rescued and delivered me. 

He will do the same for you.  Cry out to Him, believe Him at His word.  I am praying for the tired and ‘numb’ mama tonight.  Know you are loved and cherished and that this season will soon pass. (all to quickly)

Blessings, my friends,



Jen said...

Oh Michelle, how I needed that today! I have days, that it seems I just don't it in me. Thank you for this post. It truly blessed me.

Jen @

Josh said...

While I haven't (and won't) experience the busyness of a mother, I definitely can relate to the busyness of life.

Thank you for the encouragement!

Julie Rodgers said...

Thank you so much for this post, Michelle! We have had to go from breastfeeding to formula with my 4 month old, which I HATE, but he wasn't gaining weight on the breast and I wasn't producing well. Anyway, I have felt terrible about it, like if I wasn't nursing I wasn't being a good mommy to him. You made me see that I am not what I do, I am lovely because of Whose I am. Thank you!

Gloria said...

Yes, thank you for sharing! It has been a season like that here, too. I have been feeling empty and to be reminded that God does the work and uses little me is so awesome. He does love me and is providing and moving on my behalf!! So good!
Blessings, friend,

Coby said...

A lightbulb just went off for me as I read that Psalm. Ditto - I had always read it as literally barren. But reading it as the Lord can heal barrenness in the heart and soul...takes on a whole new meaning!

Thank you for sharing your heart!

cooperkelly4 said...

hah! same here, I always thought "literal" barren woman, but it can certainly mean spiritually/ soul realm barren. Thanks for sharing this little gem!

ooh, just had to look those words up further...=0) and "abide" means to dwell, remain....and "house" is literally a house, but especially applies to family!!!! soooo good!!!
This is where it is at!

Nancy said...

Thank you so much for sharing this!

Jenn said...

Yes, sometimes I allow to let myself get so caught up in my to do list that I forget that God has placed me here as a momma to my wonderful children for a very important purpose. He has chosen me to raise up these precious gifts. May I do it all for Him and to His glory!

Allison of A Farmgirl's View said...

Wow God used you to speak to me! This is just what I needed. Thank you for not only hearing from the Lord, but hearing him tell you to pass it on...and then he led me ( and others, I see) to this, this is the first time I've found your blog (I think)and I know it was Him! Oh how I love to see his hand move, don't you?
I am a new follower :) stop by and visit me if you get a chance.

Along the way said...

Oh, How i needed to hear this amazing word tonight!!!How my soul longed for a word from the LORD!

Thank you for your continued obedience to the Father. It has encouraged me greatly :)