I have been struggling again, with emotions, thoughts, feelings. A universal discontent in my heart. I know it is not really me, but the thoughts the enemy plants, but I allow them to grow.
The battle has been intense again, of late. I am well aware that hormones play a role, as the cycle seems, well, cyclical. I am also aware that that is no excuse to participate with the wrong thoughts, but it does make the battle that much harder. BUT, His grace is sufficient and victory is indeed mine.
Yesterday, Brian is reading the Light and the Glory to the children, I am only partially listening. I drift in and out, tired and my mind desperate to figure out why I feel the way I ‘feel’.
A few quotes that drift in as I sit with my eyes closed.
‘Did Christopher not see that as long as he persisted in trying to achieve his own goals in his strength God could not possibly bless him or use him?’
‘How long had it been since he knelt at the foot of his Savior's cross and asked forgiveness for going his own way in so many thing? How long had it been since he had been willing to accept with a trusting and grateful heart whatever his heavenly Father saw fit to bestow upon him?’ (The Light and the Glory by Peter Marshall and David Manuel)
This morning I read a quote from John Piper (I believe)
“God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.”
I’ve read it before, but never has it gone so deep in my heart.
For HE satisfied the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.
‘willing to accept with a trusting and grateful heart whatever his heavenly Father saw fit to bestow upon him’????
‘satisfied in Him’?? Alone?
He alone can satisfy. My heart longs to be satisfied, O Lord, in YOU and YOU alone.