Random Thoughts From My Heart

Often times I hesitate to write, so many ‘topics’ going through my head. I decided to just write, to let my heart pour out. Oh how I miss writing . . . I was a bit reflective on verge of my 48th birthday.

As I sit on my beautiful porch, sun warm on my face, gentle breeze blowing the white curtains the men couldn’t understand the need for, I’m filled with gratitude for where I am in life!

It is so easy to forget how blessed I am. I mean, let’s be real here, life is hard filled with heartache, pain, be it physical or emotional, is often a constant companion. How easy to get caught up in the swirl of it all. Sometimes we can stuff it down, forget for a moment or rise above it, but often the temptation is too strong.

Maintaining joy and gratitude, is like paddling upstream in a river! Sometimes that river is raging. So easy to get caught up in the current. Often times I am dragged so far down stream before I come to my senses. The water has slowed, I catch my breath, rub the water from my eyes. I am able to see the beauty again, the gifts, Your love, it is always there, I simply lose sight of it!

We have dreamt of living and working together day in and day out. Has it been easy? Were there and are there some bumps and bruises? Oh yeah! Who knew when your dreams come true it is hard? I didn’t. I had this picture, I think of butterflies and rainbows every day. Of everyone getting along swimmingly. Working hard, playing hard, laughing hard. I didn’t know there would be just some plain old ‘hard’.

Three years into this beautiful journey I think we are adjusted, found our rhythm, mostly. I am realizing more and more what a gift this is. Being a family. Living simply, chasing dreams, pursuing passions, running a business, loving Jesus and loving people. The privilege of being living epistles in this world, while recognizing our sufficiency is of God and God alone. And so amazed that he can use us in any way astounds me daily.

I see massive piles of wood, enough to last three winters, I’m told. It’s just wood, right? It’s so much more. Its provision that for years we prayed for, now in abundance. It’s lessons only learned between father and sons and hard work, it’s duty and sweat and providing for your family, its doing the ‘not so fun’ for others, getting little in return. Little that can be seen now, that is.

I see old barn wood and old galvanized roofing. Silly how the ‘old’ brings such delight. Ladders and doors from half a century before I was born. Picked and gathered, the thrill of the hunt with the man who completes me, loves me, lays down his life for me. We laugh and drink coffee- I prattle on- he listens, really listens. That’s love.

Blue skies and sunshine: how it fills my soul with light and joy!

So yeah, I’m filled to overflowing with Your goodness and love. You truly are a giver of good and perfect gifts.