Sometimes “School” Looks Different

We find ourselves in a very unusual season of life right now.  Adult children with children, in college and working. Homeschooling six children.  Grand parenting two children.  Husband unemployed.  Mama (and whole family) working many hours in a newer home based business.

Wow, as I type that, I wonder, ‘what is so unusual?’  This is actually what we have dreamed of . . . hmmm.

Anyway, ‘school’ looks differently right now.  Oh, we still work at the 3 R’s, but currently our curriculum is real life stuff!  Here are some pictures of a few “lessons” from yesterday.

Victoria, 16, made most of the dinner, English Muffins and took the time to clean up the kitchen and photograph all the pretties she saw.  All this while Mama and Papa were out on a business errand.

Decorating the table for dinner, a thing she has learned well!

Staging things for advertising photos for our business.

Preschool: what could be more educational than a bucket of water and some toys?

Math in the morning is always easier to swallow when you are outside in the sun with your kitty near by.

Just a sampling of the ‘schoolin’ that is going on around here.

Don’t fret, Mama, they are learning.  Follow HIM and He will prepare your children for what HE has for them.

A Correction in “Where I Am From”

I re-read my last post and saw what could be a huge misunderstanding!!  Because I was following the prompts to the poem the sentences were obvious run-ons and if read incorrectly, give the wrong message.

Here is how it is written:

I’m from Christmas at grandma’s and grudges and bitterness and unkind words from a mother who couldn’t take it anymore and a dad who was very sad.

It insinuates that the ‘unkind words’ came from my mother who couldn’t take it anymore.

Here is the correction:

I’m from Christmas at grandma’s and grudges and bitterness and unkind words. (PERIOD) (NEW SENTENCE)I am from a mother who couldn’t take it anymore and a dad who was very sad.

What I was talking about is that my mother couldn’t take her life as it was anymore and my parents were subsequently divorced.  Therefore, my dad was very sad, because in his eyes, she left for no apparent reason.

Does this make sense?  I hope so.  My heart sunk when I read it in the original form.  While my parents were divorced and we lived with my dad, God has gloriously restored my relationship with my mom. 

As an adult married woman, I now see so much clearer why she left and realize it takes two to begin a marriage and two to end a marriage.  I love and appreciate both my parents and the love they have for me and I know that they have loved as best as they could!

I hope this clears a few things up   Thank you for grace.

Where I Am From

I am from the little ranch house, by the woods and apple orchards and the little cabin across the street.

I am from the house with the big picture windows and the enchanting weeping willow in the backyard. From the ‘girl’s’ bedroom close enough to hear grandma’s singing as I drifted off to sleep.

I am from peonies and poppies and snowball trees that grandma grew. From the raspberry bushes and rhubarb plants and bowls full of sugar for dipping.

I am from towering oak trees that fill the yard with piles of leaves whose long gone limbs I remember as if they were my own.

I’m from Christmas at grandma’s and grudges and bitterness and unkind words. I am from a mother who couldn’t take it anymore and a dad who was very sad.

I’m from eating a lot and living for self and from talking loud, begging to be heard.

I’m from never measuring up and ‘be a big girl’ and twinkle, twinkle little star.

I’m from birthday cakes and ice cream at every birthday.

I am from Michigan and Poland and Italy, kielbasa and raviolis.

From a broken family that still reels to find love and searches in food, drink and the pleasures of this world, that can never forgive and let that love in.

From boxes of old photos of smiles and pretty clothes and of a little girl who spun and twirled in her Easter best.

I am from swimming all day and running through the woods. From riding bikes and snitching apples.

From the smell of grandma’s perfume and the steps that led to secret treasures.

From raspberry pie and racing to the canned tomato juice. I am from playing with cousins and crack the whip, tag, red rover and kick ball.

I am from the seed of Abraham, a daughter, now, to the King of kings who heals and restores and gives new life.

I am from brokenness but brought out of that darkness, into His marvelous light. I still dance and twirl, but now for my Father who delights in His little girl.

Where are you from? I’d love to hear. If you do this, drop me a line so I can read it?

I first read this over at Ann’s place. She has the link for the template that I used. I had the children do this too, what a treasure. I will post theirs soon.

What’s A Girl To Do???

It’s after 8:00 pm, we are just coming home from picking up three beautiful pieces of antique furniture.  I am physically and mentally whipped.  It has been one of those non-stop days, between business email and painting and children and a husband . . . well, I am whipped.

And to top it off, I have been doing the 30 day Shred with Jillian Michaels since the first of the month.  Let’s just say that woman does not even begin to know what mercy is.  So, when I say physically exhausted I am including quads, hamstrings, pecs, traps and every core muscle known to man!

I walk in the house to this!

You see that?  COOKIES!   Chocolate Chip Cookies!!  I love that my children bake.  I also love that they sneak and bake them when I am gone, even though I pretend like I am a little miffed.

Yep, that’s my empty milk glass.  I mean, really, what is a girl to do??  Warm gooey cookies and ice cold raw milk.  What would you do?

Far Above

I am going to share how the Lord led me ‘out of the pit’ this morning.  Now, it is hard to give all the details that led up to it, but you will get the gist of it.  I pray it is encouraging to you.

I have been struggling up and down with hormones of late and I can turn into a pretty crabby person.  Just ask Brian.  It is not just crabby, it is downright miserable all the way around.  I get hit by it and it can take days to recover. 

I have been meditating and studying deeply the Truth about who I am in Christ, what I have in Him and where I stand, with Him.  I have been challenged, by God, to believe His Word over what I see and feel.  In the past I would give lip service and mental assent to believing His Word, but then would go on living in my emotions, ‘feelings’, etc.

Something, or should I say Someone rose up in me this morning and I didn’t want to take it anymore.  The following is exactly what I wrote in my journal this morning.

“Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come:”  (Eph. 1:20-21)

“And hath raised us up together, and made us to sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus”  (Eph. 2:6)

Okay! I need to remember, even when it comes to emotions, hormones and the crabbies, I am, right now, seated with Christ together, in heavenly places, FAR ABOVE all principality, and power, and might and dominion  and every.single.name that is named . . .

FAR ABOVE

Am I going to believe that what I see or feel is the Truth or what the Word says, no matter what I feel.

I am the head and not the tail.  I am above only and not beneath.  (Dt. 28:13)

I am complete in Him, which is the Head (far above) all principality and power . . .

I am risen with Christ and I seek those things above.  (Far above and not beneath!!) I set my mind, my thoughts, my imagination on things above!

I am holy, chosen and loved.  I let the peace of God rule in my heart and I am thankful.  His Word dwells in my richly, it makes its home in me.

I am free—I will stand (in heavenly places, mind you) in the liberty where with Christ has made me free—I have been called to liberty.

I have been chosen before the foundation of the world.

I have redemption—forgiveness.  I have obtained an inheritance, which does not include mucking around in the ‘mully grubs’.

So, yeah, I AM seated in heavenly places, FAR ABOVE all principality, power, dominion and every single ‘mully grub’!!

(this is the picture that I drew in my journal, ‘seeing’ and ‘imagining’ is actually a part of the biblical meditation process)

Oh, these little buggers try to swallow me up, trip me, grab hold of my ankles and pull me down.  The more I try to tip-toe through them, the more entangled I become. 

Some are like quicksand.  Some have tremendously strong tentacles.  Some sting and bite and leave me limping.

But the Truth is, (I am not talking about what I “see” or “feel”) I am not to even be tip-toeing through them.  I am seated with Christ—FAR ABOVE all this yuck.  I get to choose, do I want to tip-toe through this muck here below, or am I going to believe the Word when it says

FAR ABOVE??!!

Book Give-Away

I have the honor of being friends with the author of, “Walking Through Fiery Trials”, Mary Pat Jones.

I love this woman and her story is so inspiring to me.  I happened to have two copies and want to bless someone with my extra copy.

If you have endured or are enduring right now your own ‘fiery trial’ I think you will find this book the encouragement you will need.

I have shared little bits about some of the almost eleven year ‘fiery trial’ we endured and I can say I wish, oh I wish, I had this book and the Truths therein to encourage me along the way.  I can honestly say that had I had the Truth contained in this book, I believe we would have come out the other end of our trials a little less beaten up.  Possibly, it would have been shortened, as I now see how much we even brought on ourselves.

I would like as many people as possible to have an opportunity to win this book.  Would you do me a favor and blog about this give-away and let me know that you did.  I will enter your name in the drawing.

So, either post about it (linking back to this post), or mention it on Facebook.  (linking back to this post).  Come back here an let me know that you did.

If you are interested in learning more about my precious friend, Mary Pat, go to “Creative Footage” 

Thank you!!

{re}imagined Closet Doors

I wanted to give you a peek at our closet doors.  I painted them with Old White and have begun hand painting a French Graphic on them.  It is going much quicker than I thought, though still time consuming. 

I am not sure if the pictures do it justice, but they are turning out amazing!  I will distress them once I am done and then wax them.  What do you think?

First I traced the graphic with carbon paper behind it.  Yes, they still sell carbon paper, right by the only typewriter in Office Max.

Here it is once I traced it.

 

Here I have begun filling in with my ultra-skinny paint brush.  Isn’t it looking so cool???

I know precious little of what it says, hopefully nothing to risqué.  (blouses and pantalons are obvious)

May God bless you and keep you!!

Even On My Worst Day . . .

Since setting out to really understand what the Word of God says about me this year, I am, just now, finishing the book of Colossians.  Nearly a month in this one, little book. 

Before going on to my next epistle, rather back to Galatians, I wanted to give a quick recap for myself.  I began to write the words that summed up what I had discovered about myself while studying this book.  It’s kind of a cool list, hope it blesses you as it did me.  Go ahead and read through the book of Colossians for yourself, studying out what these words mean, that we often times, flippantly toss around.

Here we go:

I have been . . .

QUALIFIED . . . DELIVERED . . . TRANSLATED . . . REDEEMED . . . FORGIVEN . . . RECONCILED . . . BURIED . . . RISEN . . .

And I am . . .

CHOSEN . . . HOLY . . . LOVED and COMPLETE!!!!

In Him and because of Him!  Not because of anything I have done, or need to do, or could ever do to qualify me.  Nope, even in spite of what I might see in the mirror some days I am all of these things! Even on my very worst day I am STILL qualified, delivered, translated, redeemed, forgiven, reconciled, buried, risen, chosen, holy, loved and complete in HIM!

Man oh mister, if I could just live in this reality what reason would I have to be discouraged??  What could be the cause of a bad day??

Perfect Peace

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.  Isaiah 26:3

Peace.  The Lord has been teaching me about peace lately.  A message that seems to be a theme these last few years.  To be honest, peace is NOT my default.  Stress, hurry, anxiety, push, burdened, overwhelmed.  These are my default.  These are the lies I listen to on a daily basis.

I have been challenged of late to reevaluate what I really believe.  Not what I ‘say’ I believe, but what I must really believe.  I feel as though the Lord continues to show me that how I act really shows what I believe.

For instance, I ‘say’ that I know I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.  But I 'act’ as though I need to somehow earn this righteousness, earn His love and acceptance.

This morning as I was praying and meditating on peace and choosing peace and letting the peace of God rule my heart, the above verse came to my mind.  I thought, ‘yes, Lord, what a lovely verse.’  Warm fuzzies filled my heart.  Yes, as I keep my mind stayed on You, YOU keep me in perfect peace.  Love it.  (But wait for it.)

“Because he trusteth in Thee”  Ahhh, why/how can one keep their mind stayed on Thee?  Because they TRUST in You!   Perhaps my innate inability to ‘keep my mind stayed on Thee’ has to do with my trust in You.

When the wheels begin to fall off my day or my life, I lunge for control.  I acquiesce to stress, anxiety, push and pressure. Without even a second thought, no less.  No peace, only tension.

But, when my trust is totally and utterly in You and I don’t need to control or handle all ‘this’, then I am able to keep my mind stayed on Thee.

Off to practice peace, to trust and rest . . . pray for me as I am still in my quiet time chair, behind closed doors, in my pajamas, sipping tea, oblivious to the ‘mess’ out there.   Wait, perhaps I could just stay here all day with you???  No?  Okay, I’m off.

Peace be with you, my friend!

 

Look What I Got!!

I am in the process of slowly converting our somewhat traditional 8os Ranch, that we decorated in a Tuscan décor several years ago, into a beautiful ‘shabby chic’ prairie style farmhouse.  Not an easy task with all the oak trim that I am not allowed to paint.  But, my dear husband has allowed me to paint the cabinets here and there, so there is hope.

We are painting over all the dark and heavy colors with light and airy colors.  Mostly, Bone White by Olympic. It is the perfect ‘off-white’ for our house.  Not to stark, yet clean and beautiful.

I have dreamt of having a beautiful chandelier in our bedroom and now it looks like my dreams are coming true!  It might be too big for the space, but we will see.  It is hanging safely in a corner of our room while the room gets painted and we figure out how to hand the beast from the ceiling.  It weighs a ton.  But oh so beautiful with all the baubles and bangles!!  I {heart} crystal chandeliers.  I also {heart} Craigslist!

Isn’t she pretty??  I also plan on incorporating that gorgeous antique mirror pictured. 

We found a beautiful, massive wood panel that we will make into our headboard.  I’ll paint it all Old White  and shabby it up.  I keep you posted as we progress.  Just had to share my lovely find.

Call Upon the Lord

The battle for my mind and thoughts continues.  Some days I seem on top of it, often times I feel like I am casting down wrong thoughts continually.  Kind of like disturbing a beehive, all kinds of ‘bees’ buzzing around me, stinging me every now and again.

I am well aware that hormones are factoring in here as things are changing with age, but the torment at times is so frustrating.

My heart is ever before Him for discernment, wisdom, revelation, conviction.  I know He leads and shows me things to deal with, but there are times when I just feel so weary of the battle.

Yesterday was one of those days.  I began reading Psalm 18.  I can’t remember what led me there . . . but I know WHO did.

It is one of those Psalms that just empowers me!  I start to sit up a little straighter, my head lifts, the heaviness in my face and heart begins to lighten.  The ‘fight’ starts to come back.  By the end of the Psalm I come out boxing!  Try reading it when you need a pick-me-up.

I also remembered an ‘oldie but goodie’ praise song and could not stop singing it all day.  My family seriously began to wonder if I flipped my lid.  I would burst out singing and startle every one.

Yesterday turned out the be the most joy filled day I have had in very long time.  I don’t mean a good, joy filled day, I mean walking on air, singing all day, crazy kind of joy!

For Thou hast girded me with strength for the battle!!

Praying for you right where you are at that He would be the lifter of your head.  Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall you be saved from your enemies!!

The Fun I Have In a Day

Hello, Ladies!  I had the idea to share a recent post that I put up on my {re}imagined blog, just so you could see some of the work I am doing.

I thought I would give you some peeks at the fun I have in a day.  Most of these are custom orders.  Who wouldn’t love a client who brings you pieces to paint and say, ‘I don’t care what color, I will love anything you do.’  Really?  She is a peach to ‘work’ for. 

Here are a few of the the pieces as well as a few of my own. 

This new sign idea came when we met some friends for breakfast and one of them mentioned how they were ‘never what their dad wanted’.  I couldn’t let that lie go on without correcting.  I quickly pointed out that they ‘were exactly what their FATHER wanted!’   So I made him a sign, just like this, so he never forgets.

This one I made for Mr. {re}imagined, it was his birthday yesterday.  He (we all do) needs this message too, and he loves Olive green.  Isn’t it great??  Available for custom order if you are interested.  Maybe someone you know needs to really know this, or, maybe you need to be reminded.  Just let me know.

What’s a girl to do with a cute wood crate?  Paint it all chippy and old looking, of course.  I painted the ‘Fresh Eggs’ on it and then distressed making it look very old. 

This is an adorable table that a sweet gal saw on my ‘yet to be {re}imagined’ post.  This beauty was painted in Country Grey, sort of an oatmeal color.

These vintage shelves didn’t even make it to my blog.  A couple was here looking at other pieces and picked this for me to paint.  Chateau Grey and Old Ochre.

These two are a couple of the fun pieces I am painting for that wonderful client I mentioned.  The first one was painted in a custom mix, making it a beautiful jewel color.  I didn’t ‘love’ the lines of the second piece, just not my style.  But when I though of doing it  with this ‘ombre’ idea I LOVED it.  It looks amazing!

It is no secret that I {heart} green!  I think that is an understatement.  I painted this old white dresser with Antibes green and put lots of very dark wax on it.  I painted it with lots of texture so the wax would really stick in the grooves.  The pictures don’t do it justice, so cute.  I will be photographing it officially and putting it on the for sale page soon.  Unless someone wants it before I get it there.

See, told you I was having fun. Praying blessings and joy in your life!!

Michelle

Birthday Boy!!

My Dearest Brian,

Happy Birthday!  This is one my favorite days of the year because it is the day you were born!  You have been a blessing beyond my wildest dreams in my life.  I shake my head in awe, so often, that I would be blessed to be your wife.

You are the epitome of a ‘steady man’.  Faithful and true.  You are like a rock. Yes, sometimes this bothers me, especially when I want to ‘jump off a cliff’, but I truly am thankful for this quality.  We balance each other beautifully, I think.

I cannot believe that you are forty-nine years old.  Remember when that seemed so ‘old’?  It is so true, what they say, about you anyway, you really, really do get better with age!   

I love the fun we have, the laughter we share and the dreams we dream.  Nobody makes me laugh like you do.  You can be so naughty sometimes . . . and I LOVE it.

You are a treasure, Brian, and I am very rich woman. Happy birthday, my sweet!!

May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you!!

Your adoring wife forever,

Michelle

How He Sees You

As I am seeking to find out, and really believe who I am in Him; looking to see myself as HE sees me, I am finding all kinds of little nuggets.  Before, I would read them and move on. Now, I stop, linger, meditate, ponder what my thoughts would be like if I really BELIEVED this particular scripture.

I find myself still in the first chapter of Colossians.  Today it is Col. 1:22. (with part of verse 21)

. . . yet now hath he reconciled

In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

First of all, I just love the thought that I have been reconciled to God.  I was instantly brought back to last March, when the Lord was revealing loads of “guilt and shame”  I felt almost as though His voice was calling out to me, pleading with me to ‘be ye reconciled to God’, in my mind.  It is already a fact, but I need to believe that I have been reconciled to God!!

On to how He presents me . . .

Holy:  set apart, sanctified, consecrated

Unblameable:  the absence of internal blemish, legally unaccused

Unreprovable:  free from any legal charge at all

Now, I don’t always ‘act’ holy, but because of what Christ did, I am holy.  When I read verses like this the ‘yah, buts’ come quickly to my mind.  ‘yah, but, you should see how I act sometimes’, or ‘yah,but, you don’t know the unkind or judgmental thoughts I have’, on and on. 

But when am I going to stop looking at things ‘below’ and start looking on things ‘above’?  When am I going to walk by faith and not by what I see?  When am I going to really believe the word over what I see in my own heart?

That is what this year is about for me.  Choosing to believe the Truth over what I see.  The more I meditate on and believe the Truth the more it becomes a part of me and transforms not only my mind, but also my heart and my actions. 

I really believe that holy people (that’s you and me) who really believe they are holy will actually ‘act’ holy.  Make sense?

 

 

Complete In Him

Colossians 2:9-10

For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

You (and I) are complete in Him.  Complete!  When you read that, what thoughts come to your mind?

I challenge you to get in a quiet place and say, ‘I am complete in Jesus, I lack nothing.’  Now, pay attention and even write down what thoughts come to your mind as you meditate on the fact that you are, indeed, complete in Him.

What are your emotional reactions to this thought.  I have read that our beliefs drive our emotions and our emotions drive our actions.

Your ‘emotional’ reaction to this thought, more than likely, reveals your true beliefs.  If our beliefs are wrong, our emotions are wrong and our actions will also be wrong.  We will make wrong decisions based on our emotions that stem from our beliefs.

What I believe about myself, my standing with God and my true identity in Christ determines the how I ‘feel’ about myself and the quality of decisions I make.  I can continue to be caught up in a vicious up and down cycle, a sense of lack (incompleteness) or I can begin to believe, really believe what the Word of God says and thereby change my heart, my emotions and break the cycle.

I have begun reading through the New Testament searching for the Truth of what Christ has done and who He says I am in Him and what I have in Him.  I am choosing to take His Word at face value, simply believe what it says, even when it contradicts what I see and what I feel.  I have purposed to lay down lying vanities, my own opinion, possible false teachings that I have been swayed by, traditions of man and a ‘works’ mentality.  I want to hear HIS heart, the Truth, for it is only the Truth that will make me free and break this cycle.

Father God, open our eyes to who you say we are.  Let our identity be in You and You alone.  Expose the lies we have believed.  Teach us.  We humble ourselves, lay down our opinions and doctrines and want to learn only from You.  In Jesus name we pray.

Speak and Believe:

“I am complete in Him.  I lack nothing.”

New Word For 2012!

I so toyed with the idea of my word for the year being “fearless”.  God has been unearthing fear in the deep recesses of my heart.  As I recognize more and more of it a holy determination rises up in my spirit.

But alas, my Father has a better plan, which He ALWAYS does! (no matter how much I try to convince Him my plans are pretty good)

He has shown me over the past few weeks where I believe we are ‘going’ this year.  It is not so much a fight against fear as it is a filling up of who I am in Him and where my true security lies.

You see, I can fight fear all I want, but until I find my security, my identity, my all in Him and His righteousness it just might be futile battle.  Until I believe to my very core that I am righteous, already, because of what Christ did, I will continue to strive and fear and sense a ‘lack’ deep within me.

He has shown me that my fear is rooted in a sense of lack, that something is missing in me, thereby making me ‘feel’ unlovable, unaccepted, unholy, unrighteous, unsafe and unloved.

I am beginning to really grasp that I can ‘think’ I believe certain truths, and ‘say’ I believe certain truths, but how I live my life, how I respond to life shows what I really, truly-ooly believe.

I sense He is taking me on a life changing journey this year.  A very exciting journey.  It feels like it is the “next” step in this healing process that really took wings in May of 2010, when he radically healed and delivered me from a tremendous amount of bondage. (start at the bottom and work your way up)  I have sensed it for weeks and weeks now, something new about to break forth.  I feel pregnant (not really pregnant)  about to give birth to something beautiful, wonderful and exciting.

The scripture He gave me for the new year is found in Isaiah 43. (the whole chapter, really, but specifically the following)

“ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old. 
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert. . . 
. . . To give drink to My people, My chosen. 
This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.

And my “Word” for the new year??  Righteousness!

Yes, righteousness!  I have my bags packed, really just my bible, a pen and a journal, and I am ready to go!  I hope to share this journey with you.  My “goal”, if you will, is to seek to immerse myself in the scriptures about who I am in Him.  Meditate and study righteousness.  Read, speak and believe the Truth about His righteousness that is now mine.

Do you have a word or scripture for the new year?  I would love to hear it.

New!!

Happy New Year!  Can you believe it is 2012 already.  I have been meditating on what the Lord has done this past year and I stand in awe!  I feel, more than ever, that time has flown by.  I have decided that MY year only had eight months in it.  That’s why it was so busy.  A lot got packed into eight months!  You know, January, February, March, April, May, June, July and Augember.  That is what I call the time frame between August and December, Augember.  It was one giant blur!

I looked back to see what my ‘scripture’ for the year 2011 was and just smiled when I realized it was EXACTLY the perfect scripture for our year.  Go back and read it, very encouraging.  This year, more than ever, has been a “clear cut exhibition of God’s capable care”.

2011

Read Ann’s life changing book, One Thousand Gifts . . .

Our firstborn “Came Home”!!!

I reached my first “1000 gifts”

Started my “I Believes”

Dealt with Guilt and Shame and learned some deep lessons on Peace

Dumped a ton of “Performance” and “Drivenness”

Celebrated One Year of Healing!!

Got free from the “Never Good Enough Syndrome” 

Exposed Rejection and and saw how it manifests.

So, this year I read a life changing book and listened to a life changing, paradigm shifting message.

The end of July is when the obsession  passion began with find treasures to {re}imagine that would later grow into a wonderful business, much to my surprise.

We were blessed with a precious new grandbaby!  And spent lots of time enjoying her.

And that, my friends it where it all turned into a blur.  The Lord has blessed us and given us so much favor with this furniture business.  But, like most things, there is another side.  The ‘success’ of this business sort of sent me into a tailspin as deep self-doubt, fear, insecurity, lack of trust, fear, fear and more fear began to rise to the surface.

Amidst the crazy pace and extremely full plate I was battling these old enemies, and for a time, didn’t even know I was in the battle. 

So many more wonderful deliverances, deep valleys, heart struggles.  Many beautiful memories and quite a few things I would like to forget. (which I will when I apply my new Scripture of the year, soon to be revealed )

Happy New Year, Sister!

Out Of Darkness

Hello, Ladies!!!  I so totally miss writing my heart out here.  Not only has it been nearly impossible to find a few moments alone to do so, but I have been in a very dry and dark place.

The last five months have been a blur, and that is no exaggeration. I find myself still writing the date as August instead of December, I think, because that is when the pace really picked up.  I literally feel like yesterday was August and now it is almost January.

As the weeks and months have passed I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the ‘darkness’.  What I mean by darkness is just feeling of being empty, lost, dry, and the Word felt so dry.  Never has my time with the Lord been so dry.  Not that I haven’t gone through seasons of ups and downs, but never so long and so ‘empty’ feeling.

Instead of taking my own advice and trusting that “all the way my Savior leads me” and that “it is not how much time you spend in His Word in this busy season, it’s about loving Him and worshipping Him all day” and, “you can trust Him to keep you, your heart is turned towards Him, He is holding you and knows right where you are in this season”, I began to believe the lies.

I heard the still small voice assuring me that I was secure in Him, but the enemy screams loud and old core beliefs began to resurface.  I started to listen to the accuser and question my heart and my God.  This thinking only plunged me deeper into the darkness.

It was so strange, because I still sensed His presence all day, saw His hand moving in my life and my heart and even watched Him flow through me as I ministered to others.  Yet, somehow I still believed, ‘I must be doing something wrong.’  Even when I asked my Father, initially I heard His reassurance, but eventually I believed the lies over the Truth.

Fear came in and really had a blast messing with my mind.  Fear of failure, fear of ‘missing God’, fear of being wrong, perfectionism . . .  FEAR, FEAR, FEAR!

I found myself to be a mess.  I couldn’t think straight.  Depression was looming.  I became more tired by the day, which, of course, only produced more fear . . . fear of getting sick again.  Ugh!  That spirit of Fear is nasty!

Finally, it became so clear (the enemy always trips up at some point and plays his cards just a little too soon)that fear was at the root of what I was experiencing.  Just enough light shone through the darkness.  I fell to my knees and repented of all that I had recognized and am now experiencing the refreshing of the Lord.  Reminds me of Acts 3:19.

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.

I was reading in some old notes I have taken over the years on fear and one sentence really struck me, “your ability to think can be shut down by fear”.  Yup, pretty much sums up what happened.

The Lord has been showing me these last few days so much I didn’t know about my own heart.  Want a glimpse?  It’s sort of messy.

He has shown me that I still don’t ‘believe’ that I am righteous before Him because of what Christ did.  That I still somehow think that if I do ‘it’ good enough, then He will be pleased, then I will some how earn this righteousness.  Even though I know the ‘proper’ way to respond the question, ‘are you trusting in your righteousness or Christ’s?’, I live and act in such a way that proves what I really believe.

That my fear of being wrong is rooted in my trusting my own doctrines or opinions instead of trusting in Him and finding my safety in HIM!

So much more wonderful, yet ugly, revelations that I am so excited to be dealing with and rid of!  I am so very excited to start this new year.  Before this latest ‘episode of darkness’ I had a real sense that He is moving in a big way in our lives.  I know that even more freedom and deliverance is on its way.  I was seeing the start of it before it got really, really dark.  I can’t wait to see what He is going to do next.

I hope to write soon about my “word” for the New Year.  Last year was “Relentless Pursuit”  I’ve got an idea of what the topic is going to be, just can’t seem to sum it up into one word (or two )

Please share what the Lord is doing in your heart right now, I would LOVE to hear it!! 

Big HUGS!

Michelle

“ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old. 
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.  (Isaiah 43:18-19)

You Are Invited To Our Boutique

I thought you might enjoy seeing what our little “Shop the Barn”  sale looked like.  I made this video for my mom who couldn’t be here for the sale.

We had an awesome time and were so blessed by the turnout. We had to have people wait outside as we were too full!  The Lord provided greatly through this sale and we are so thankful!

Fight For Your Man

Recently I wrote a post about ‘fighting for our children’ when it struck me, do we fight for our marriages? Do we ‘fight’ for our husbands?

It is easier to get on board to ‘fight’ for our children, but isn’t it harder when it comes to our marriage; our husbands? I mean, for me, the emotions are so different. I tend to get my feelings hurt much easier, and ‘hey! isn’t he supposed to be the ‘spiritual’ one?’

Please head on over to “At the Well” to finish reading.

Power of Encouragement

Yesterday around 4:30, as I was scrambling to get the last things painted for our big ‘shop the barn’ sale this weekend, I was growing weary.  Weary of the painting that I love.  Physically tired and achy.  It was cold and gloomy all day, I never quiet got warm enough in the garage.  My hand was so sore.

I put my head down and cried out to God.  I thanked Him for this opportunity and how I knew it was Him that was providing this, but that I was tired.  Tears began to slowly fall as I stood there with Him asking for strength to finish strong.  I wiped the tears away with the back of my very paint and wax covered hands and finished painting.

It was now after five and I needed to get dinner going.  As I was leaning over the sink scrubbing my hands I looked out and saw one of the many beautiful sunsets we get to see.  It had been completely cloudy and gray all day and now,  just peaking through was the most brilliant colors of pinks, purples and oranges!  It was one of those sunsets where everything else is all black and all you see is the brilliance of the sun between the horizon and the line of clouds.

I stood there almost breathless.  It was so beautiful, so invigorating.  I thanked Him, as He knows what His sunsets do to my heart!

Later that evening I found a sweet, encouraging note from a friend I didn’t even know I had!  She has read my blog and chose that day to send a word of encouragement.  Again, breathless and invigorating at the same time.  I cried, tears of weariness and tears of joy.  I thanked her.

This morning I awaken to a beautiful, even more encouraging note from this sweet sister all the way from Georgia.  How did she know the perfect words that would minister to so many corners of my heart?  Did she have any idea of what those words would do for my soul today?  I don’t know, but I do know that her time in typing that note was absolutely not wasted.  Actually, she was a vessel of mercy and love sent straight from my Father. 

My point in telling you all of this is to encourage you to encourage others.  When someone is on your heart and you have the opportunity to shoot a quick email, write a letter, give a quick call, do it!  You have no idea how it might bless that person.  You might never know, but I am pretty sure it will not be wasted!

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.  (Proverbs 25:11)

Much love and hugs,

Michelle

I Remember Well

Reading in the Word yesterday and coming across the words, ‘let me not be ashamed’ brought back a flood of memories.

I remember praying, pleading, believing, h.o.p.i.n.g. that Your Word was true and that You would indeed contend with those who contend with us and that You would not let us ‘be ashamed’, for we put our trust—our weak and faltering trust in You.

Oh, Father, how I remember the years, the pain, the sorrow.  The times of clinging, barely, to Your faithfulness.  I remember where faltering faith often times gave way to weak and anemic hope.  I would go from, ‘Your Word is true!’ to ‘Your Word is true . . . right?  Please let it be true.’

I remember days that turned into years of wondering if the fiery trials would ever end.  Would sadness and grief and the begging kind of hope be my reality forever?  Would it always be normal to expect a ‘sucker punch’ at every corner?  Would I ever wake up and NOT wince, wondering what was coming today?  Would there be a day when I would actually “see” the goodness of the Lord and  begin to experience favor and joy and hope and laughter.  Would I ever wake up expecting Your favor on my day, or would it always be a weak hope?

I remember well those years, and I see how You held me even when I felt like I was free-falling. I remember each and every one of those feelings and the memories cause me to just shake my head and marvel at how you HEAL and DELIVER and RESTORE and REBUILD.  I laugh when I think of how far YOU have brought us and that every single word You have spoken is TRUE and has come true and is coming true.

Lord, let me never doubt Your faithfulness.  Let me always know that no matter how horribly dark it gets YOU are faithful and Your Word is true!

I don’t know where you are right now or how deep the valley may be or how very dark your days are, but I am pleading with you to know that He is faithful. He is holding you.  He will restore.  All the paths of the Lord are mercy.  It might not seem like it, but they are.

You are going to make it through, THROUGH, this valley!!

In Awe

I sit here, in my quiet time chair and just marvel.  I look around our bedroom and see seven of our nine children, some on the bed, some on the floor, some perched on the dresser.  I see my husband, who for years has tried to have that consistent 'devotions' we are supposed to have as a family.  I see the bible in his hand.

It really has happened.  Each morning for the past couple of years we all gather in our bedroom before Brian leaves for work.  He asks if anyone has anything to share from the Word.  Some days we have lots, some days, not so much, but we gather.  He ask for prayer requests.  "itchy arms", "focus with school", "salvation for loved ones", "mercy for those struggling with losing it all", we all shout out our requests.

We share the Word, we pray together, and sometimes we sing a hymn together.  Years and years we have struggled to make this happen on a regular basis.  We can't be the only ones, right?  I am not sure what changed, but I am so thankful it has.  I do know it must only be by His grace, because we have tried and tried.

It's the little things throughout the day, when you take time to notice, they really add up.  We do this every day and I guess I often take it for granted, but today, I shake my head in awe at what He has done.

 

It's not every day we have live worship, but after hearing Isaiah worshiping with his guitar in his room the night before we asked him to play for us.  Really??  I 'get' to be the mama here?!  Taking note of such sweet things really makes the 3,957 frustrating things in any given day seem so inconsequential.

Such a thankful Mama today!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.  (James 1:17)

 

He Always Provides

First, can I just say, “I miss writing here!!”  There is much stirring and brewing in my heart but barely a second to think about writing a post.

It started out as a curiosity to paint a table and then another and then another until it got to the point where my dear husband requested I not buy another piece of furniture until I sold a piece.  Seemed like a fair deal.

Well, the next day I sold a table and then another and then another.  I did not set out to start a ‘business’, but was just having fun and seemed to be following what the Lord had before me.  I couldn’t really believe someone would want to buy ‘my’ stuff.  Brian always believed in me and I think he knew we were onto something here, though I didn’t.

Here we are just three months later and I cannot keep up with the painting!  I do so much custom work for people that I often times can’t keep my own supply of painted pieces up. I am having a blast!  I get to make pretty things, learn new things and bless people.

The Lord has orchestrated me teaching a class too.  Who knew?!  We are having a huge “shop the barn” boutique sale the first week in December and if half the people come that say they are it will be a huge success.

What does this have to do with the Lord providing, you ask.  Well, Brian’s work has been very slow over the last few years and we are really waiting on the Lord for our next step and we have been for some time now.  At times we have not gotten a paycheck and in the natural, our financial position does not look that good. 

We are in awe of what is unfolding with this whole furniture thing.  We all work together as a family in various ways, each using their own gifting. I  am not sure painting furniture would provide entirely for a family of ten but it sure is a blessing right now.  We marvel at watching the Lord give us favor with purchases and sales.  We delight in the people we meet and get to work with.  Our family enjoys ministering in any way we can to the ‘customers’ the Lord brings.  I cannot put into words the scope of what He is doing, but it is pretty awesome and I just wanted to ‘gush’ on Him a little this morning, thank you for allowing me.

If you are interested in what I am talking about please check out our other blog, {re}imagined just for you.  Also, if you are anywhere near our neck of the woods, (someone is actually coming from Indiana!) please, please come to our ‘shop the barn’ sale and say hi!!  I would love to see you.

Amazed by His Grace,

Michelle

 

I Had No Idea

Today marks twenty-three years of marriage for Brian and I, and I can honestly say that I feel like all my dreams have come true. 

In all reality, I didn’t even know to dream this big. 

I had no idea of what a marriage with such unity, love and oneness looked like or felt like. 

I had no idea what it would feel like to be loved and accepted so unconditionally by someone. 

I had no idea of how such love could heal a little girl’s broken heart.

I had no idea what it would feel like to live with such a feeling of safety and protection.

I had no idea what it would feel like to be so cherished and nurtured.

I had no idea what it would be like to encouraged and picked up over and over again.

Our marriage has not been without its bumps and deep valleys, but I am humbled and in awe of the keeping power of God’s grace in this marriage.  We have walked through things that can destroy a marriage and only by His grace came out stronger and closer.

Humbled, that is the right word for it.  Really, if you knew the two of us, with all our flaws and brokenness you would be in awe of His grace too, trust me

When I think of a verse to describe Brian the following comes to mind . . .

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Happy Anniversary to the man of my dreams! I love you forever and always

 

Who Meets My Needs?

The more my trust in God grows, the more I let go of fear and release my husband to God, the more I can see my husband, weaknesses and all, through different eyes. The less I “need” him to fulfill my emotional needs, the more I can love him unselfishly. The less my little feelings get hurt over every.single.thing, the more I forgive, the easier it is to see him as a child of God . . . for the rest of the story hop on over to At The Well

Will We Fight For Them?

I had quite a sobering conversation in my head yesterday. 

Yesterday I sort of reached the ‘end’ of my limit with a certain teenage son, who simply is going through what I would call typical ‘growing up pains’.  Each of his brothers before him did too, I know this, but somehow forget and get frustrated.

My normal M.O. is to just get ticked and say, ‘fine, figure it out on your own then.’  (yes, I know not so spiritual nor mature)  I want to just wash my hands of the whole stinkin’ mess.

Well, I called Brian, ranted something about ‘just being done with him’.  I believe I let him know that this particular son was HIS, and I was just done.  He, of course, was shocked by my words and encouraged (begged) me to stop the foolishness coming out of my mouth.  I just sat there and stewed while he talked.

When we got off the phone I went about my business, still stewing and a brewing, repeating my above foolishness in my head.  What I heard next just about stopped my in my tracks, literally.

“So, you’re done?  Well, you might as well be putting him right into the hands of the enemy.”  Giant gulp!  I literally could picture just handing my son over to the enemy because I was too selfish, lazy and prideful to deal with everyday issues!  Ugh, it pains me now to even think about it.

If we don’t fight for our children, who will?  There is an enemy who prowls around seeking whom he may destroy.  He comes to steal, kill and destroy.  A very REAL vicious, relentless killer after our children and I am willing to just say, ‘forget it, too hard, don’t want to deal with this today’??? 

NO!!  I am not willing to give up!  I choose to fight with every ounce of my being.  I will not let the enemy take my children on my watch.  If we don’t fight for them, who will, ladies, who will?

Yep, I repented yesterday.  I told God I see that I am wrong, I don’t really have the fight and the love in me to battle this, but I know that He does and I am counting on HIM to equip me.

Let the very cry of our hearts be . . .

Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. (2 Timothy 2:10)

May we be willing to endure ALL things for our children’s sake!

 

Feeling Barren

Oh, my, do I miss ‘here’.  Where exactly is ‘here’?  This blog, sharing my heart, writing.  This place where I can open up and pour out what is going on inside.

This season of life is unlike any other.  The hours and minutes are completely and utterly filled up.  Between homeschooling five “grades”  (six, if you count intentional time with my preschooler) and this new business venture the Lord seems to be orchestrating, phew! 

I know this is just a season and it is no more important than any of the other season the Lord has had me in.  Because of past issues with performance and striving,     ( one more link too) I have to guard my heart against feeling better about myself because I am more ‘productive’ right now.  I am blessed to be doing this, but THIS is not who I am and does not make me any more valuable.  I was just as valuable to my Father when I was in a major season of rest and seemingly unproductive! 

You are precious to Him no matter what season you are in.  you are valuable because of who He created you to be and WHOSE you are, not because of what you do.

What I really snuggled up here to share is an encouragement the Lord gave me.  Last week as my seventeenth year of homeschooling was looming big and I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer, He showed up! 

I was pouring my heart out to Him, telling Him just how numb or empty I was feeling.  (This pace has left me a bit shallow in my thoughts and feelings.  I am a deep thinker and deep feeler and I don’t have time for either right now, which is probably good, keeps me out of trouble ) 

I expressed to Him that He was going to need to do a work in my heart as I just didn’t have it in me.  I was reading through the Psalms, looking for some little nugget, as my quiet time has been rather ‘empty’ feeling too, and I read

                     Psalm 113

Praise ye the LORD. Praise, O ye servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD.

Blessed be the name of the LORD from this time forth and for evermore.

From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised.

The LORD is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.

Who is like unto the LORD our God, who dwelleth on high,

Who humbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!

He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill;

That he may set him with princes, even with the princes of his people.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

There it was.  Did you see it?  I have always read that last verse about the barren woman to be literally a barren woman.  But that morning, feeling extremely “barren” on the inside, empty of love and joy, numb and almost zoned out, this verse took on new meaning.

I was the ‘barren’ woman and HE, HE maketh me to keep my house and maketh me a joyful mother of children!  I chose right then and there to believe it and claim it as my own.  Do you know that each day since that Monday morning has been gloriously joyful and full of love and excitement to be a keeper of this house and a joyful mother to these children??

Oh, friends, He is so faithful.  I am not for one second saying that life is perfect (as if there is perfection) or my days are totally stress-free.  What I am saying is that He heard the cry of this tired mama’s heart.  He not only heard it, he rescued and delivered me. 

He will do the same for you.  Cry out to Him, believe Him at His word.  I am praying for the tired and ‘numb’ mama tonight.  Know you are loved and cherished and that this season will soon pass. (all to quickly)

Blessings, my friends,

Michelle