Complaining, Grumbling and Unbelief ( A Look Inside My Heart)

I have been reading a lot about the Israelites and their wanderings. (reading through the bible in 40 days) Wow! They complained and doubted so much. It is so easy to point a finger at them, but oh how the conviction burns in my own heart. How often do I grumble and complain about the circumstances in my life? From small, seemingly insignificant issues of life, to the, by comparison, hugely significant things. How often do I find myself dissatisfied with something, anything?! The way something turned out. A decision Brian made. The weather, for crying out loud! (as I sit here watching it rain on blueberry picking day ;-) Not to even mention the bigger things of life.

And, oh my, their unbelief and doubt of His saving hand! The fear they would die out there in the desert. The complete and utter lack of faith that God would/could do what He said He would/could do! So easy to think, "for crying out loud, He parted the Red Sea! He rained down manna and quail! Water from a rock!!?? Come on, already."

Wait a minute. How often do I doubt Him? How often do the difficult things in life loom impossible in my eyes? How many times have I sat down, folded my arms, put out my bottom lip, and said, "it will never change" or "this is impossible" "I was better off . . . "

I may not have experienced the actual parting of the Red Sea, or food raining down from heaven, but how often has His hand worked miracles in my own life?!

What about saving a lost girl who was neck deep in sin and rebellion? I think taking a heart of stone and setting it ablaze for Himself is pretty miraculous.

What about taking two completely broken, clueless and worldly people and putting them together and making an absolutely heavenly marriage?

Or how about taking a heart that did not want anymore children, ever (after 3 ;-) and turning it into a heart that now saw children as gifts and blessings. Now willing to welcome any 'gifts' He bestows. Pretty miraculous.

Several medical mini-miracles with many of the deliveries of my children.

Countless little miracles that go unnoticed each and every day!

And let's not forget, most recently, healing and delivering me from a very debilitating illness. I mean symptoms gone, vanished over night! Bondages in my mind and heart disappeared! Healing, spirit, soul and body!

Yeah, I guess I have seen a miracle or two. I suppose I have no more 'excuse' to grumble, complain and doubt than the Israelites did.

Father God, I repent for a lifetime of grumbling and complaining. What a stench that must be in Your nostrils. Forgive me, Father, for taking for granted, for refusing to acknowledge Your miracle-working in my life. I recognize and repent for the utter lack of faith, my unbelief, in so many areas of my life. Father, how richly You have blessed me and how faithful You are. Thank You, a thousand thank Yous for all I have been given. May I only and always sing of Your praises all my remaining days.