A Word For Me

As I sought the Lord on New Year's Day, I was looking for a 'word' or scripture for the year. Maybe a theme for the year? I also felt so different this year, sort of 'in the middle' of something already, so I wasn't really expecting something 'new'. I felt like maybe it was just going to be encouragement to press on in what he is already doing.

The lure of some new fresh word was very appealing though. What could it be? I felt like Cinderella trying on a 'shoe' for the ball, only I was trying on words.

Rest, has been big for me lately. . . Quiet, Jen shared this word from Zephaniah 3. He will quiet me with His love. . . Praise, has been a theme over the years. . . Prayer, believing prayer. . . Yes, from Ann Voskamps post. Yes to my children, yes, to You. . . Gentle, soft, my tone is so harsh at times. . . My words, only edifying, soft, kind, seasoned with grace. . . Faith, learning and growing in faith for healing. Living in the present moment. . . Slow, slowing down in life.

All these and more I try on.

"Show me Lord, clothe me with Your Word, I pray."

I continued to read scripture after scripture . . . maybe 'claim', 'possess'. Could You be calling me to these?

Maybe surrender? "That's a good one. I could surely use to surrender more to You."

Like a little girl, "Father, this one? How about this one . . . on and on I tried different words, but nothing seemed to fit just right.

"Father, here lies my heart, my hopes, my expectations for the new year. Be Thou my vision."

I sense no leading to make goals, resolutions, lists. It feels so strange, in a way, so different from my usual New Year meeting with my Father.

*****

Be Thou my vision echos in my heart . . .You being my vision . . . You being my 'goal'. Hmm.

He then proceeded to lead me to verse after verse about the secret things belonging to the Lord, or the vanity of trying to plan my course,or the presumption of knowing what I am going to do the next day, never mind the whole year! The arrogance that I'll even be given one more breath. (Ro. 11:33-36, Ro. 9:15-21, Ps 33:16-19, Is 45:9)

I reread two devotionals that I remembered I had set aside to purposely read this day.

" . . . times when we plan nothing, think nothing, simply rest a while . . . open spaces in life, hours when our soul is completely open and accessible to heavenly thought . . . simply be still and look heavenward. . . "

And

"Do I agree with God that I stop being the striving earnest kind of Christian I have been? Is there a place marked in my life as the last day. . . when you realize that it is ALL Him and none of me! All for Him and through Him, not me and Him, but Him alone!"

The word Nothing, Nothingness, Open Spaces, play over and over in my mind.

Nothing, nothingness . . . nothing of my own ideas or goals . . . open spaces for You to fill.

Ah, these fit perfectly! It might not seem like much, but it speaks volumes to my heart!

And I will give you treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, Who calls you by name . . . I am the Lord and there is no one else; there is no God besides Me, I will gird and arm you . . .

(Is 45:3 & 5)

BTW, I in no way am opposed to making goals or resolutions. In fact I love them, but they often consume me. That might be why my 'words' for the year are, nothing, nothingness and open spaces. This was just what the Lord had for this striving, needs to learn to rest in Him, Mama.