Are You Serious?

Today marks the day that twenty-four years ago I became a mama!  Seriously?  Twenty-four years!?  Yikes!  All those years ago, I was entrusted with a teeny-tiny baby, a precious, living soul.  I had no idea just how precious that gift was.

Dearest, precious Matthew,

Wow, I can’t even start this without the tears flowing.  My heart aches for you to know, to really know how much your Father loves you.  To know how much I love you. 

Your name means “gift of God”, and that, you have been.

When I found out I was pregnant for you, I was scared, unsure of our future.  So many emotions, but one thing  I knew, I was so thrilled to be a mama.  So thrilled to have a baby of my own to love.  That joy and excitement is what pushed all the fears and doubts away.  I didn’t care, I had you!  Even though I didn’t really know God back then, somewhere deep inside I knew everything was going to be okay.

The years have been filled with every.single.emotion possible, I am sure.  So many ups and downs.  Life didn’t always turn out like we had planned, but one thing I know, I think I am prepared to say I wouldn’t change a thing.  That is big, you know, but I wouldn’t want to change who we are and who we will become because of the circumstances.

I am so proud to be your mama.  You truly are a gift.  You have taught me things I didn’t even know I needed to learn.  You have stretched me to places I have never been.  I have made so many mistakes, too many to even count, but you always forgive and love.  Your smile, your laughter, your hugs, bring a joy to my heart like none other.

I can not believe you are twenty-four years old!  I still see that little boy playing in the little pool . . . that precious face looking up at me . . . I remember your first day of 3 year old preschool, 4 year old preschool, Junior Kindergarten, Kindergarten and First Grade.  The only child I know who had five years of school under his belt before being homeschooled in the Second Grade.  Sorry it took so long to figure that one out

Teaching you math, trying to convince you that the Saxon text book is NOT wrong . . . playing on the beach, year after year . . .  drivers training . . . the long sad drive to Kentucky . . . the wanting nothing more than to hold you close all those years . . . seeing you become a daddy . . . seeing the difference in your face after Georgia . . .

My sweet Matthew, it is a joy and an honor to be your mama!  I love you with a love so deep it shocks even me.  It is with great, great excitement that I look toward your future.  There is no greater joy than to see you walking in the Light, no greater joy than watching you be a husband and a father.

I have just one thing to say,

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.