Time For Rest

Okay, so I went to the doctor again this week. I expressed my frustration with how sick I still am and that I didn't even want to be there. I just wanted to quit! And, to top it all off, I have gained a little over ten pounds since all this started four months ago, and it seems to keep going up! After fighting so hard to lose a significant amount of weight earlier this year, this was just too much! My doctor is addressing the weight gain and believes that my pituitary and thyroid are 'tanking'. (His words) This explains the sleeplessness, weight gain and increase in depression of late. He has changed my diet and made some significant changes with my supplements.


As we talked and he tried to figure out what might be going on, he asked if there were any other stresses that he didn't know about. He was shaking his head because it seems I should be getting better. Something is still causing serious drain on my body.


Brian said, "the only thing I can think of is her passion to learn, which seems to get her jazzed." When I want to know something or the Lord puts something new in front of me, I attack it with a vengeance. I can spend hours researching, printing, reading, ect. For example, when I came across a wonderful book on the rest of God, I ended up buying five or six books on rest and tried to consume them all at once. This is just how I operate ;-) The ironic thing is they were books on REST for crying out loud! I even attack learning how to not attack.


My doctor looked at me and said, "no computer for two weeks!" Brian and I were almost in tears as we both secretly felt the Holy Spirit's leading in this. My doctor has no idea how much or how little time I spend on the computer or even what I do on it.

So much of all the things I love to do, things I have found my significance, in have been removed from me during these past four months. Homeschooling, homemaking, being a cheerful and helpful wife, being a good friend, daughter ect. At least I was able to still pursue healthy ways to nourish my family, new recipes, new ideas and projects, help other women, ect. All this while not at all recognizing the stress I was causing my body.


I have learned a lot about stress and our bodies during this illness; things I think one can probably only learn by going through it, for which I am thankful. Our bodies are bombarded by stresses each day without us even knowing it.


For example, my husband goes to the doctor for a routine check-up. He doesn't seem nervous and doesn't even feel nervous. But his blood pressure is up significantly without him even knowing it.


Seeing an old friend and being all excited to see her, even though it seems like a good stress, your body still goes through significant hormonal changes to deal with the situation.

Other seemingly insignificant things which might cause stress would be a frustrating morning with your children, multi-tasking (this is a future post topic), or hearing of a tragic story in the news, or watching an intense movie (which I don't recommend;-) All these call on our bodies to handle the incoming stress. For me, having had my ability to deal with stress basically removed from me through this adrenal fatigue, I am able to feel things that wouldn't even phase another person. (or me for that matter, six months ago)


So, I say ALL of this to say that I am going to be taking a computer break for two weeks! I am extremely excited because I believe this is the next step in the major work the Lord is doing in my heart. I believe this is, in part, an answer for balance and rest in my soul. I believe He wants me alone with Him. I believe I have let my passion to learn and to help others become a replacement for the significance I need to find in Him alone. And, I can only guess, that my limited mind can only think of a small portion of what He is really doing.


If I am being honest though, I am also sort of scared. I don't know what I am going to 'do' instead. Notice the need to 'do' something. I use the computer because I just don't have energy for anything else. I might just need to be quiet, alone with Jesus and my own heart and my own thoughts. I will miss it, I am sure. I will miss hearing from you very amazing women almost daily. It is hard because I have several posts already written out that I feel the Lord has given me, with several more ideas floating in my head. But I will trust His timing. Maybe this will be a time of writing.

Would you mind praying for me if the Lord puts me on your heart? I would appreciate it. I have no reason to think He won't give this back to me. I think that it will probably be in a more balanced way. I tend not to be a balanced person ;-)


I still plan to check my email for important matters. I will be praying a lot during this time and if there are any urgent needs that you would like prayer for, please let me know. It will not be a bother, but a huge blessing to me! Okay, now I am crying. I'm going to miss you ladies, but it's only for two weeks right?



My prayer for you,

God be with you till we meet again;
by his counsels guide, uphold you,
with his sheep securely fold you;
God be with you till we meet again.

Till we meet, till we meet,
till we meet at Jesus' feet;
till we meet, till we meet,
God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;
neath his wings securely hide you,
daily manna still provide you;
God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;
when life's perils thick confound you,
put his arms unfailing round you;
God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;
keep love's banner floating o'er you,
smite death's threatening wave before you;
God be with you till we meet again.