I just hung up the phone. It was my son. My son who has chosen the other way. There is only one Way, and he has not chosen it. My heart is so heavy. Such a sadness deep, deep within my heart. It’s funny, I guess, when they speak of heart‘ache’; there really is an ache. A physical ache inside the heart.
"He knows better," I cry out, "He knows!"
Why he is choosing this path that surely leads away from our Jesus?
He knows what’s right and what’s wrong! We taught him.
Were we perfect? Surly not, but we showed him the Way. We fed him the Truth.
I cry out to God, "He knows! Why is he doing this?!" I think I hear a still small voice inside asking me "Does he know? Does he really know? He knows in his head what is right. Yes, you did teach him, but does he know for himself?
Maybe the question is, dear mama, do you know?
Do you know that I am the Great I AM?
Do you know I created him for Myself?
Do you know that I hold all things together?
Do you know that no plan or purpose of Mine can be thwarted?
Do you know that I love him more the you ever could?
Do you know that I knit him together in your womb, that I saw his unformed body, and all of his days were written in My book?
Do you know that just as you are, he is the apple of My eye?
His name is carved in the palm of My hands?
Do you know, mama, that I am God and there is no one else;
I am God and there is none like Me?
I declare the end from the beginning.
My counsel shall stand, and I will do My pleasure and purpose.
Do you know that I have plans to prosper him and not harm him,
plans to give him hope and a future?
You have no need to fret. I will pour My spirit upon your offspring.
My blessing upon your descendants.
I formed you and your children and your children’s children for Myself.
That they may set forth My praise and they shall do it.
He certainly knows, and he will know.
"My eye is upon him. His very life is in My hands."
Dear mama, dry your tears, calm your heart.
Cast your sorrow, your fear, your frustrations on Me.
Let Me carry them.
Surely, you know Me.
Thank you for that, Michelle. Our district superintendent of the denomination my husband is ordained with prayed aloud for us at our home and said, "God, surely you didn't give us children to send them to hell." His son was prodigal, too, but has returned. No, I couldn't believe, either, that God would give us children to send them to hell. God wanted our child to be born. We had infertility problems, and cancelled the appointment with the specialist when we finally got one, due to discouragement and feeling like we could not go on with more tests. We immediately felt hopeless, like we had really made a mistake, so called the specialist back and got another appointment. He found the problem and fixed it, and 6 months later, I was expecting. Surely God would not have taken His peace from us after we cancelled, unless He really did mean for our son to be born. And when he was born, what a joy he was.
ReplyDeleteFrom time to time, God will show us something else that we can to for our son (without compromising our Bible beliefs) to show love and an open door.
Last night, he called expressing amazement that my husband and I have been married 39 years this year. He is gettinig a clue as to what is valuable.
"Train up a child..." is a general principle, and most prodigals do return.
Have a blessed evening.
Dear Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThis post is very moving and brought me to tears. You surely know how to express the depths of your heart with the inspirational power of words (especially His Word). I wanted to thank you for your earlier post about the blog--God has been so kind in allowing me to have time to work on it and speaking to me about what should be posted and He surely gets all the glory.
I have been watching your blog for a little while now and would like to put it up on my sidebar for others to enjoy and be blessed, I hope you don't mind.
Have a blessed week building up your sacred home...
I just stumbled on your blog and am encouraged by it! thanks
ReplyDeleteI felt your pain and mine, as all three of my children wander in the enemies land.That is their choice, which comes with rebellion. I feel compelled to wrestle with God, and remind HIM that His promises to a Father(and Mother) are coventants-that are not dependant on the child's foolish. I PRAY he will grant us favor and GRACE. I too feel heartbroken, by their choices; because consequences of choices are also God's laws. For this PRAY HIS MERCIES, over them. Thanks for your care & love.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and this post was deeply moving and a blessing to me. Thank you. God bless, x
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! Thank you!
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