She Looketh Well . . .

{re}imagined Closet Doors

2012-01-26T22:25:00.001-05:00

I wanted to give you a peek at our closet doors. I painted them with Old White and have begun hand painting a French Graphic on them. It is going much quicker than I thought, though still time consuming.

I am not sure if the pictures do it justice, but they are turning out amazing! I will distress them once I am done and then wax them. What do you think?

First I traced the graphic with carbon paper behind it. Yes, they still sell carbon paper, right by the only typewriter in Office Max.

Here it is once I traced it.

Here I have begun filling in with my ultra-skinny paint brush. Isn’t it looking so cool???

I know precious little of what it says, hopefully nothing to risqué. (blouses and pantalons are obvious)

May God bless you and keep you!!

Even On My Worst Day . . .

2012-01-25T08:16:00.001-05:00

Since setting out to really understand what the Word of God says about me this year, I am, just now, finishing the book of Colossians. Nearly a month in this one, little book.

Before going on to my next epistle, rather back to Galatians, I wanted to give a quick recap for myself. I began to write the words that summed up what I had discovered about myself while studying this book. It’s kind of a cool list, hope it blesses you as it did me. Go ahead and read through the book of Colossians for yourself, studying out what these words mean, that we often times, flippantly toss around.

Here we go:

I have been . . .

QUALIFIED . . . DELIVERED . . . TRANSLATED . . . REDEEMED . . . FORGIVEN . . . RECONCILED . . . BURIED . . . RISEN . . .

And I am . . .

CHOSEN . . . HOLY . . . LOVED and COMPLETE!!!!

In Him and because of Him! Not because of anything I have done, or need to do, or could ever do to qualify me. Nope, even in spite of what I might see in the mirror some days I am all of these things! Even on my very worst day I am STILL qualified, delivered, translated, redeemed, forgiven, reconciled, buried, risen, chosen, holy, loved and complete in HIM!

Man oh mister, if I could just live in this reality what reason would I have to be discouraged?? What could be the cause of a bad day??

Perfect Peace

2012-01-17T08:08:00.001-05:00

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Peace. The Lord has been teaching me about peace lately. A message that seems to be a theme these last few years. To be honest, peace is NOT my default. Stress, hurry, anxiety, push, burdened, overwhelmed. These are my default. These are the lies I listen to on a daily basis.

I have been challenged of late to reevaluate what I really believe. Not what I ‘say’ I believe, but what I must really believe. I feel as though the Lord continues to show me that how I act really shows what I believe.

For instance, I ‘say’ that I know I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. But I 'act’ as though I need to somehow earn this righteousness, earn His love and acceptance.

This morning as I was praying and meditating on peace and choosing peace and letting the peace of God rule my heart, the above verse came to my mind. I thought, ‘yes, Lord, what a lovely verse.’ Warm fuzzies filled my heart. Yes, as I keep my mind stayed on You, YOU keep me in perfect peace. Love it. (But wait for it.)

“Because he trusteth in Thee” Ahhh, why/how can one keep their mind stayed on Thee? Because they TRUST in You! Perhaps my innate inability to ‘keep my mind stayed on Thee’ has to do with my trust in You.

When the wheels begin to fall off my day or my life, I lunge for control. I acquiesce to stress, anxiety, push and pressure. Without even a second thought, no less. No peace, only tension.

But, when my trust is totally and utterly in You and I don’t need to control or handle all ‘this’, then I am able to keep my mind stayed on Thee.

Off to practice peace, to trust and rest . . . pray for me as I am still in my quiet time chair, behind closed doors, in my pajamas, sipping tea, oblivious to the ‘mess’ out there. Wait, perhaps I could just stay here all day with you??? No? Okay, I’m off.

Peace be with you, my friend!

Look What I Got!!

2012-01-15T11:12:00.001-05:00

I am in the process of slowly converting our somewhat traditional 8os Ranch, that we decorated in a Tuscan décor several years ago, into a beautiful ‘shabby chic’ prairie style farmhouse. Not an easy task with all the oak trim that I am not allowed to paint. But, my dear husband has allowed me to paint the cabinets here and there, so there is hope.

We are painting over all the dark and heavy colors with light and airy colors. Mostly, Bone White by Olympic. It is the perfect ‘off-white’ for our house. Not to stark, yet clean and beautiful.

I have dreamt of having a beautiful chandelier in our bedroom and now it looks like my dreams are coming true! It might be too big for the space, but we will see. It is hanging safely in a corner of our room while the room gets painted and we figure out how to hand the beast from the ceiling. It weighs a ton. But oh so beautiful with all the baubles and bangles!! I {heart} crystal chandeliers. I also {heart} Craigslist!

Isn’t she pretty?? I also plan on incorporating that gorgeous antique mirror pictured.

We found a beautiful, massive wood panel that we will make into our headboard. I’ll paint it all Old White and shabby it up. I keep you posted as we progress. Just had to share my lovely find.

Call Upon the Lord

2012-01-13T08:41:00.001-05:00

The battle for my mind and thoughts continues. Some days I seem on top of it, often times I feel like I am casting down wrong thoughts continually. Kind of like disturbing a beehive, all kinds of ‘bees’ buzzing around me, stinging me every now and again.

I am well aware that hormones are factoring in here as things are changing with age, but the torment at times is so frustrating.

My heart is ever before Him for discernment, wisdom, revelation, conviction. I know He leads and shows me things to deal with, but there are times when I just feel so weary of the battle.

Yesterday was one of those days. I began reading Psalm 18. I can’t remember what led me there . . . but I know WHO did.

It is one of those Psalms that just empowers me! I start to sit up a little straighter, my head lifts, the heaviness in my face and heart begins to lighten. The ‘fight’ starts to come back. By the end of the Psalm I come out boxing! Try reading it when you need a pick-me-up.

I also remembered an ‘oldie but goodie’ praise song and could not stop singing it all day. My family seriously began to wonder if I flipped my lid. I would burst out singing and startle every one.

Yesterday turned out the be the most joy filled day I have had in very long time. I don’t mean a good, joy filled day, I mean walking on air, singing all day, crazy kind of joy!

For Thou hast girded me with strength for the battle!!

Praying for you right where you are at that He would be the lifter of your head. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall you be saved from your enemies!!

The Fun I Have In a Day

2012-01-10T22:16:00.001-05:00

Hello, Ladies! I had the idea to share a recent post that I put up on my {re}imagined blog, just so you could see some of the work I am doing.

I thought I would give you some peeks at the fun I have in a day. Most of these are custom orders. Who wouldn’t love a client who brings you pieces to paint and say, ‘I don’t care what color, I will love anything you do.’ Really? She is a peach to ‘work’ for.

Here are a few of the the pieces as well as a few of my own.

This new sign idea came when we met some friends for breakfast and one of them mentioned how they were ‘never what their dad wanted’. I couldn’t let that lie go on without correcting. I quickly pointed out that they ‘were exactly what their FATHER wanted!’ So I made him a sign, just like this, so he never forgets.

This one I made for Mr. {re}imagined, it was his birthday yesterday. He (we all do) needs this message too, and he loves Olive green. Isn’t it great?? Available for custom order if you are interested. Maybe someone you know needs to really know this, or, maybe you need to be reminded. Just let me know.

What’s a girl to do with a cute wood crate? Paint it all chippy and old looking, of course. I painted the ‘Fresh Eggs’ on it and then distressed making it look very old.

This is an adorable table that a sweet gal saw on my ‘yet to be {re}imagined’ post. This beauty was painted in Country Grey, sort of an oatmeal color.

These vintage shelves didn’t even make it to my blog. A couple was here looking at other pieces and picked this for me to paint. Chateau Grey and Old Ochre.

These two are a couple of the fun pieces I am painting for that wonderful client I mentioned. The first one was painted in a custom mix, making it a beautiful jewel color. I didn’t ‘love’ the lines of the second piece, just not my style. But when I though of doing it with this ‘ombre’ idea I LOVED it. It looks amazing!

It is no secret that I {heart} green! I think that is an understatement. I painted this old white dresser with Antibes green and put lots of very dark wax on it. I painted it with lots of texture so the wax would really stick in the grooves. The pictures don’t do it justice, so cute. I will be photographing it officially and putting it on the for sale page soon. Unless someone wants it before I get it there.

See, told you I was having fun. Praying blessings and joy in your life!!

Michelle

Birthday Boy!!

2012-01-09T08:09:00.001-05:00

My Dearest Brian,

Happy Birthday! This is one my favorite days of the year because it is the day you were born! You have been a blessing beyond my wildest dreams in my life. I shake my head in awe, so often, that I would be blessed to be your wife.

You are the epitome of a ‘steady man’. Faithful and true. You are like a rock. Yes, sometimes this bothers me, especially when I want to ‘jump off a cliff’, but I truly am thankful for this quality. We balance each other beautifully, I think.

I cannot believe that you are forty-nine years old. Remember when that seemed so ‘old’? It is so true, what they say, about you anyway, you really, really do get better with age!

I love the fun we have, the laughter we share and the dreams we dream. Nobody makes me laugh like you do. You can be so naughty sometimes . . . and I LOVE it.

You are a treasure, Brian, and I am very rich woman. Happy birthday, my sweet!!

May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you!!

Your adoring wife forever,

Michelle

How He Sees You

2012-01-08T10:43:00.001-05:00

As I am seeking to find out, and really believe who I am in Him; looking to see myself as HE sees me, I am finding all kinds of little nuggets. Before, I would read them and move on. Now, I stop, linger, meditate, ponder what my thoughts would be like if I really BELIEVED this particular scripture.

I find myself still in the first chapter of Colossians. Today it is Col. 1:22. (with part of verse 21)

. . . yet now hath he reconciled

In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:

First of all, I just love the thought that I have been reconciled to God. I was instantly brought back to last March, when the Lord was revealing loads of “guilt and shame” I felt almost as though His voice was calling out to me, pleading with me to ‘be ye reconciled to God’, in my mind. It is already a fact, but I need to believe that I have been reconciled to God!!

On to how He presents me . . .

Holy: set apart, sanctified, consecrated

Unblameable: the absence of internal blemish, legally unaccused

Unreprovable: free from any legal charge at all

Now, I don’t always ‘act’ holy, but because of what Christ did, I am holy. When I read verses like this the ‘yah, buts’ come quickly to my mind. ‘yah, but, you should see how I act sometimes’, or ‘yah,but, you don’t know the unkind or judgmental thoughts I have’, on and on.

But when am I going to stop looking at things ‘below’ and start looking on things ‘above’? When am I going to walk by faith and not by what I see? When am I going to really believe the word over what I see in my own heart?

That is what this year is about for me. Choosing to believe the Truth over what I see. The more I meditate on and believe the Truth the more it becomes a part of me and transforms not only my mind, but also my heart and my actions.

I really believe that holy people (that’s you and me) who really believe they are holy will actually ‘act’ holy. Make sense?

Complete In Him

2012-01-03T08:40:00.001-05:00

Colossians 2:9-10

For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

You (and I) are complete in Him. Complete! When you read that, what thoughts come to your mind?

I challenge you to get in a quiet place and say, ‘I am complete in Jesus, I lack nothing.’ Now, pay attention and even write down what thoughts come to your mind as you meditate on the fact that you are, indeed, complete in Him.

What are your emotional reactions to this thought. I have read that our beliefs drive our emotions and our emotions drive our actions.

Your ‘emotional’ reaction to this thought, more than likely, reveals your true beliefs. If our beliefs are wrong, our emotions are wrong and our actions will also be wrong. We will make wrong decisions based on our emotions that stem from our beliefs.

What I believe about myself, my standing with God and my true identity in Christ determines the how I ‘feel’ about myself and the quality of decisions I make. I can continue to be caught up in a vicious up and down cycle, a sense of lack (incompleteness) or I can begin to believe, really believe what the Word of God says and thereby change my heart, my emotions and break the cycle.

I have begun reading through the New Testament searching for the Truth of what Christ has done and who He says I am in Him and what I have in Him. I am choosing to take His Word at face value, simply believe what it says, even when it contradicts what I see and what I feel. I have purposed to lay down lying vanities, my own opinion, possible false teachings that I have been swayed by, traditions of man and a ‘works’ mentality. I want to hear HIS heart, the Truth, for it is only the Truth that will make me free and break this cycle.

Father God, open our eyes to who you say we are. Let our identity be in You and You alone. Expose the lies we have believed. Teach us. We humble ourselves, lay down our opinions and doctrines and want to learn only from You. In Jesus name we pray.

Speak and Believe:

“I am complete in Him. I lack nothing.”

New Word For 2012!

2012-01-02T18:00:00.001-05:00

I so toyed with the idea of my word for the year being “fearless”. God has been unearthing fear in the deep recesses of my heart. As I recognize more and more of it a holy determination rises up in my spirit.

But alas, my Father has a better plan, which He ALWAYS does! (no matter how much I try to convince Him my plans are pretty good)

He has shown me over the past few weeks where I believe we are ‘going’ this year. It is not so much a fight against fear as it is a filling up of who I am in Him and where my true security lies.

You see, I can fight fear all I want, but until I find my security, my identity, my all in Him and His righteousness it just might be futile battle. Until I believe to my very core that I am righteous, already, because of what Christ did, I will continue to strive and fear and sense a ‘lack’ deep within me.

He has shown me that my fear is rooted in a sense of lack, that something is missing in me, thereby making me ‘feel’ unlovable, unaccepted, unholy, unrighteous, unsafe and unloved.

I am beginning to really grasp that I can ‘think’ I believe certain truths, and ‘say’ I believe certain truths, but how I live my life, how I respond to life shows what I really, truly-ooly believe.

I sense He is taking me on a life changing journey this year. A very exciting journey. It feels like it is the “next” step in this healing process that really took wings in May of 2010, when he radically healed and delivered me from a tremendous amount of bondage. (start at the bottom and work your way up) I have sensed it for weeks and weeks now, something new about to break forth. I feel pregnant (not really pregnant) about to give birth to something beautiful, wonderful and exciting.

The scripture He gave me for the new year is found in Isaiah 43. (the whole chapter, really, but specifically the following)

“ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert. . .
. . . To give drink to My people, My chosen.
This people I have formed for Myself;
They shall declare My praise.

And my “Word” for the new year?? Righteousness!

Yes, righteousness! I have my bags packed, really just my bible, a pen and a journal, and I am ready to go! I hope to share this journey with you. My “goal”, if you will, is to seek to immerse myself in the scriptures about who I am in Him. Meditate and study righteousness. Read, speak and believe the Truth about His righteousness that is now mine.

Do you have a word or scripture for the new year? I would love to hear it.

New!!

2012-01-01T10:33:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! Can you believe it is 2012 already. I have been meditating on what the Lord has done this past year and I stand in awe! I feel, more than ever, that time has flown by. I have decided that MY year only had eight months in it. That’s why it was so busy. A lot got packed into eight months! You know, January, February, March, April, May, June, July and Augember. That is what I call the time frame between August and December, Augember. It was one giant blur!

I looked back to see what my ‘scripture’ for the year 2011 was and just smiled when I realized it was EXACTLY the perfect scripture for our year. Go back and read it, very encouraging. This year, more than ever, has been a “clear cut exhibition of God’s capable care”.

2011

Read Ann’s life changing book, One Thousand Gifts . . .

Our firstborn “Came Home”!!!

I reached my first “1000 gifts”

Started my “I Believes”

Dealt with Guilt and Shame and learned some deep lessons on Peace

Dumped a ton of “Performance” and “Drivenness”

Celebrated One Year of Healing!!

Got free from the “Never Good Enough Syndrome”

Exposed Rejection and and saw how it manifests.

So, this year I read a life changing book and listened to a life changing, paradigm shifting message.

The end of July is when the ~~obsession~~ passion began with find treasures to {re}imagine that would later grow into a wonderful business, much to my surprise.

We were blessed with a precious new grandbaby! And spent lots of time enjoying her.

And that, my friends it where it all turned into a blur. The Lord has blessed us and given us so much favor with this furniture business. But, like most things, there is another side. The ‘success’ of this business sort of sent me into a tailspin as deep self-doubt, fear, insecurity, lack of trust, fear, fear and more fear began to rise to the surface.

Amidst the crazy pace and extremely full plate I was battling these old enemies, and for a time, didn’t even know I was in the battle.

So many more wonderful deliverances, deep valleys, heart struggles. Many beautiful memories and quite a few things I would like to forget. (which I will when I apply my new Scripture of the year, soon to be revealed )

Happy New Year, Sister!

Out Of Darkness

2011-12-29T08:50:00.001-05:00

Hello, Ladies!!! I so totally miss writing my heart out here. Not only has it been nearly impossible to find a few moments alone to do so, but I have been in a very dry and dark place.

The last five months have been a blur, and that is no exaggeration. I find myself still writing the date as August instead of December, I think, because that is when the pace really picked up. I literally feel like yesterday was August and now it is almost January.

As the weeks and months have passed I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the ‘darkness’. What I mean by darkness is just feeling of being empty, lost, dry, and the Word felt so dry. Never has my time with the Lord been so dry. Not that I haven’t gone through seasons of ups and downs, but never so long and so ‘empty’ feeling.

Instead of taking my own advice and trusting that “all the way my Savior leads me” and that “it is not how much time you spend in His Word in this busy season, it’s about loving Him and worshipping Him all day” and, “you can trust Him to keep you, your heart is turned towards Him, He is holding you and knows right where you are in this season”, I began to believe the lies.

I heard the still small voice assuring me that I was secure in Him, but the enemy screams loud and old core beliefs began to resurface. I started to listen to the accuser and question my heart and my God. This thinking only plunged me deeper into the darkness.

It was so strange, because I still sensed His presence all day, saw His hand moving in my life and my heart and even watched Him flow through me as I ministered to others. Yet, somehow I still believed, ‘I must be doing something wrong.’ Even when I asked my Father, initially I heard His reassurance, but eventually I believed the lies over the Truth.

Fear came in and really had a blast messing with my mind. Fear of failure, fear of ‘missing God’, fear of being wrong, perfectionism . . . FEAR, FEAR, FEAR!

I found myself to be a mess. I couldn’t think straight. Depression was looming. I became more tired by the day, which, of course, only produced more fear . . . fear of getting sick again. Ugh! That spirit of Fear is nasty!

Finally, it became so clear (the enemy always trips up at some point and plays his cards just a little too soon)that fear was at the root of what I was experiencing. Just enough light shone through the darkness. I fell to my knees and repented of all that I had recognized and am now experiencing the refreshing of the Lord. Reminds me of Acts 3:19.

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.

I was reading in some old notes I have taken over the years on fear and one sentence really struck me, “your ability to think can be shut down by fear”. Yup, pretty much sums up what happened.

The Lord has been showing me these last few days so much I didn’t know about my own heart. Want a glimpse? It’s sort of messy.

He has shown me that I still don’t ‘believe’ that I am righteous before Him because of what Christ did. That I still somehow think that if I do ‘it’ good enough, then He will be pleased, then I will some how earn this righteousness. Even though I know the ‘proper’ way to respond the question, ‘are you trusting in your righteousness or Christ’s?’, I live and act in such a way that proves what I really believe.

That my fear of being wrong is rooted in my trusting my own doctrines or opinions instead of trusting in Him and finding my safety in HIM!

So much more wonderful, yet ugly, revelations that I am so excited to be dealing with and rid of! I am so very excited to start this new year. Before this latest ‘episode of darkness’ I had a real sense that He is moving in a big way in our lives. I know that even more freedom and deliverance is on its way. I was seeing the start of it before it got really, really dark. I can’t wait to see what He is going to do next.

I hope to write soon about my “word” for the New Year. Last year was “Relentless Pursuit” I’ve got an idea of what the topic is going to be, just can’t seem to sum it up into one word (or two )

Please share what the Lord is doing in your heart right now, I would LOVE to hear it!!

Big HUGS!

Michelle

“ Do not remember the former things,
Nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

You Are Invited To Our Boutique

2011-12-11T18:33:00.001-05:00

I thought you might enjoy seeing what our little “Shop the Barn” sale looked like. I made this video for my mom who couldn’t be here for the sale.

We had an awesome time and were so blessed by the turnout. We had to have people wait outside as we were too full! The Lord provided greatly through this sale and we are so thankful!

Fight For Your Man

2011-12-01T07:11:00.001-05:00

Recently I wrote a post about ‘fighting for our children’ when it struck me, do we fight for our marriages? Do we ‘fight’ for our husbands?

It is easier to get on board to ‘fight’ for our children, but isn’t it harder when it comes to our marriage; our husbands? I mean, for me, the emotions are so different. I tend to get my feelings hurt much easier, and ‘hey! isn’t he supposed to be the ‘spiritual’ one?’

Please head on over to “At the Well” to finish reading.

Power of Encouragement

2011-11-30T08:26:00.001-05:00

Yesterday around 4:30, as I was scrambling to get the last things painted for our big ‘shop the barn’ sale this weekend, I was growing weary. Weary of the painting that I love. Physically tired and achy. It was cold and gloomy all day, I never quiet got warm enough in the garage. My hand was so sore.

I put my head down and cried out to God. I thanked Him for this opportunity and how I knew it was Him that was providing this, but that I was tired. Tears began to slowly fall as I stood there with Him asking for strength to finish strong. I wiped the tears away with the back of my very paint and wax covered hands and finished painting.

It was now after five and I needed to get dinner going. As I was leaning over the sink scrubbing my hands I looked out and saw one of the many beautiful sunsets we get to see. It had been completely cloudy and gray all day and now, just peaking through was the most brilliant colors of pinks, purples and oranges! It was one of those sunsets where everything else is all black and all you see is the brilliance of the sun between the horizon and the line of clouds.

I stood there almost breathless. It was so beautiful, so invigorating. I thanked Him, as He knows what His sunsets do to my heart!

Later that evening I found a sweet, encouraging note from a friend I didn’t even know I had! She has read my blog and chose that day to send a word of encouragement. Again, breathless and invigorating at the same time. I cried, tears of weariness and tears of joy. I thanked her.

This morning I awaken to a beautiful, even more encouraging note from this sweet sister all the way from Georgia. How did she know the perfect words that would minister to so many corners of my heart? Did she have any idea of what those words would do for my soul today? I don’t know, but I do know that her time in typing that note was absolutely not wasted. Actually, she was a vessel of mercy and love sent straight from my Father.

My point in telling you all of this is to encourage you to encourage others. When someone is on your heart and you have the opportunity to shoot a quick email, write a letter, give a quick call, do it! You have no idea how it might bless that person. You might never know, but I am pretty sure it will not be wasted!

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)

Much love and hugs,

Michelle

I Remember Well

2011-11-26T09:03:00.001-05:00

Reading in the Word yesterday and coming across the words, ‘let me not be ashamed’ brought back a flood of memories.

I remember praying, pleading, believing, h.o.p.i.n.g. that Your Word was true and that You would indeed contend with those who contend with us and that You would not let us ‘be ashamed’, for we put our trust—our weak and faltering trust in You.

Oh, Father, how I remember the years, the pain, the sorrow. The times of clinging, barely, to Your faithfulness. I remember where faltering faith often times gave way to weak and anemic hope. I would go from, ‘Your Word is true!’ to ‘Your Word is true . . . right? Please let it be true.’

I remember days that turned into years of wondering if the fiery trials would ever end. Would sadness and grief and the begging kind of hope be my reality forever? Would it always be normal to expect a ‘sucker punch’ at every corner? Would I ever wake up and NOT wince, wondering what was coming today? Would there be a day when I would actually “see” the goodness of the Lord and begin to experience favor and joy and hope and laughter. Would I ever wake up expecting Your favor on my day, or would it always be a weak hope?

I remember well those years, and I see how You held me even when I felt like I was free-falling. I remember each and every one of those feelings and the memories cause me to just shake my head and marvel at how you HEAL and DELIVER and RESTORE and REBUILD. I laugh when I think of how far YOU have brought us and that every single word You have spoken is TRUE and has come true and is coming true.

Lord, let me never doubt Your faithfulness. Let me always know that no matter how horribly dark it gets YOU are faithful and Your Word is true!

I don’t know where you are right now or how deep the valley may be or how very dark your days are, but I am pleading with you to know that He is faithful. He is holding you. He will restore. All the paths of the Lord are mercy. It might not seem like it, but they are.

You are going to make it through, THROUGH, this valley!!

In Awe

2011-11-24T11:03:00.001-05:00

I sit here, in my quiet time chair and just marvel. I look around our bedroom and see seven of our nine children, some on the bed, some on the floor, some perched on the dresser. I see my husband, who for years has tried to have that consistent 'devotions' we are supposed to have as a family. I see the bible in his hand.

It really has happened. Each morning for the past couple of years we all gather in our bedroom before Brian leaves for work. He asks if anyone has anything to share from the Word. Some days we have lots, some days, not so much, but we gather. He ask for prayer requests. "itchy arms", "focus with school", "salvation for loved ones", "mercy for those struggling with losing it all", we all shout out our requests.

We share the Word, we pray together, and sometimes we sing a hymn together. Years and years we have struggled to make this happen on a regular basis. We can't be the only ones, right? I am not sure what changed, but I am so thankful it has. I do know it must only be by His grace, because we have tried and tried.

It's the little things throughout the day, when you take time to notice, they really add up. We do this every day and I guess I often take it for granted, but today, I shake my head in awe at what He has done.

It's not every day we have live worship, but after hearing Isaiah worshiping with his guitar in his room the night before we asked him to play for us. Really?? I 'get' to be the mama here?! Taking note of such sweet things really makes the 3,957 frustrating things in any given day seem so inconsequential.

Such a thankful Mama today!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (James 1:17)

He Always Provides

2011-11-16T10:10:00.001-05:00

First, can I just say, “I miss writing here!!” There is much stirring and brewing in my heart but barely a second to think about writing a post.

It started out as a curiosity to paint a table and then another and then another until it got to the point where my dear husband requested I not buy another piece of furniture until I sold a piece. Seemed like a fair deal.

Well, the next day I sold a table and then another and then another. I did not set out to start a ‘business’, but was just having fun and seemed to be following what the Lord had before me. I couldn’t really believe someone would want to buy ‘my’ stuff. Brian always believed in me and I think he knew we were onto something here, though I didn’t.

Here we are just three months later and I cannot keep up with the painting! I do so much custom work for people that I often times can’t keep my own supply of painted pieces up. I am having a blast! I get to make pretty things, learn new things and bless people.

The Lord has orchestrated me teaching a class too. Who knew?! We are having a huge “shop the barn” boutique sale the first week in December and if half the people come that say they are it will be a huge success.

What does this have to do with the Lord providing, you ask. Well, Brian’s work has been very slow over the last few years and we are really waiting on the Lord for our next step and we have been for some time now. At times we have not gotten a paycheck and in the natural, our financial position does not look that good.

We are in awe of what is unfolding with this whole furniture thing. We all work together as a family in various ways, each using their own gifting. I am not sure painting furniture would provide entirely for a family of ten but it sure is a blessing right now. We marvel at watching the Lord give us favor with purchases and sales. We delight in the people we meet and get to work with. Our family enjoys ministering in any way we can to the ‘customers’ the Lord brings. I cannot put into words the scope of what He is doing, but it is pretty awesome and I just wanted to ‘gush’ on Him a little this morning, thank you for allowing me.

If you are interested in what I am talking about please check out our other blog, {re}imagined just for you. Also, if you are anywhere near our neck of the woods, (someone is actually coming from Indiana!) please, please come to our ‘shop the barn’ sale and say hi!! I would love to see you.

Amazed by His Grace,

Michelle

I Had No Idea

2011-11-05T08:56:00.001-04:00

Today marks twenty-three years of marriage for Brian and I, and I can honestly say that I feel like all my dreams have come true.

In all reality, I didn’t even know to dream this big.

I had no idea of what a marriage with such unity, love and oneness looked like or felt like.

I had no idea what it would feel like to be loved and accepted so unconditionally by someone.

I had no idea of how such love could heal a little girl’s broken heart.

I had no idea what it would feel like to live with such a feeling of safety and protection.

I had no idea what it would feel like to be so cherished and nurtured.

I had no idea what it would be like to encouraged and picked up over and over again.

Our marriage has not been without its bumps and deep valleys, but I am humbled and in awe of the keeping power of God’s grace in this marriage. We have walked through things that can destroy a marriage and only by His grace came out stronger and closer.

Humbled, that is the right word for it. Really, if you knew the two of us, with all our flaws and brokenness you would be in awe of His grace too, trust me

When I think of a verse to describe Brian the following comes to mind . . .

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Happy Anniversary to the man of my dreams! I love you forever and always

Who Meets My Needs?

2011-10-27T09:02:00.001-04:00

The more my trust in God grows, the more I let go of fear and release my husband to God, the more I can see my husband, weaknesses and all, through different eyes. The less I “need” him to fulfill my emotional needs, the more I can love him unselfishly. The less my little feelings get hurt over every.single.thing, the more I forgive, the easier it is to see him as a child of God . . . for the rest of the story hop on over to At The Well

Will We Fight For Them?

2011-10-19T08:50:00.001-04:00

I had quite a sobering conversation in my head yesterday.

Yesterday I sort of reached the ‘end’ of my limit with a certain teenage son, who simply is going through what I would call typical ‘growing up pains’. Each of his brothers before him did too, I know this, but somehow forget and get frustrated.

My normal M.O. is to just get ticked and say, ‘fine, figure it out on your own then.’ (yes, I know not so spiritual nor mature) I want to just wash my hands of the whole stinkin’ mess.

Well, I called Brian, ranted something about ‘just being done with him’. I believe I let him know that this particular son was HIS, and I was just done. He, of course, was shocked by my words and encouraged (begged) me to stop the foolishness coming out of my mouth. I just sat there and stewed while he talked.

When we got off the phone I went about my business, still stewing and a brewing, repeating my above foolishness in my head. What I heard next just about stopped my in my tracks, literally.

“So, you’re done? Well, you might as well be putting him right into the hands of the enemy.” Giant gulp! I literally could picture just handing my son over to the enemy because I was too selfish, lazy and prideful to deal with everyday issues! Ugh, it pains me now to even think about it.

If we don’t fight for our children, who will? There is an enemy who prowls around seeking whom he may destroy. He comes to steal, kill and destroy. A very REAL vicious, relentless killer after our children and I am willing to just say, ‘forget it, too hard, don’t want to deal with this today’???

NO!! I am not willing to give up! I choose to fight with every ounce of my being. I will not let the enemy take my children on my watch. If we don’t fight for them, who will, ladies, who will?

Yep, I repented yesterday. I told God I see that I am wrong, I don’t really have the fight and the love in me to battle this, but I know that He does and I am counting on HIM to equip me.

Let the very cry of our hearts be . . .

Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. (2 Timothy 2:10)

May we be willing to endure ALL things for our children’s sake!

Feeling Barren

2011-10-12T21:47:00.001-04:00

Oh, my, do I miss ‘here’. Where exactly is ‘here’? This blog, sharing my heart, writing. This place where I can open up and pour out what is going on inside.

This season of life is unlike any other. The hours and minutes are completely and utterly filled up. Between homeschooling five “grades” (six, if you count intentional time with my preschooler) and this new business venture the Lord seems to be orchestrating, phew!

I know this is just a season and it is no more important than any of the other season the Lord has had me in. Because of past issues with performance and striving, ( one more link too) I have to guard my heart against feeling better about myself because I am more ‘productive’ right now. I am blessed to be doing this, but THIS is not who I am and does not make me any more valuable. I was just as valuable to my Father when I was in a major season of rest and seemingly unproductive!

You are precious to Him no matter what season you are in. you are valuable because of who He created you to be and WHOSE you are, not because of what you do.

What I really snuggled up here to share is an encouragement the Lord gave me. Last week as my seventeenth year of homeschooling was looming big and I didn’t feel like I had anything to offer, He showed up!

I was pouring my heart out to Him, telling Him just how numb or empty I was feeling. (This pace has left me a bit shallow in my thoughts and feelings. I am a deep thinker and deep feeler and I don’t have time for either right now, which is probably good, keeps me out of trouble )

I expressed to Him that He was going to need to do a work in my heart as I just didn’t have it in me. I was reading through the Psalms, looking for some little nugget, as my quiet time has been rather ‘empty’ feeling too, and I read

Psalm 113

Praise ye the LORD. Praise, O ye servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD.

Blessed be the name of the LORD from this time forth and for evermore.

From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised.

The LORD is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.

Who is like unto the LORD our God, who dwelleth on high,

Who humbleth himself to behold the things that are in heaven, and in the earth!

He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill;

That he may set him with princes, even with the princes of his people.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

There it was. Did you see it? I have always read that last verse about the barren woman to be literally a barren woman. But that morning, feeling extremely “barren” on the inside, empty of love and joy, numb and almost zoned out, this verse took on new meaning.

I was the ‘barren’ woman and HE, HE maketh me to keep my house and maketh me a joyful mother of children! I chose right then and there to believe it and claim it as my own. Do you know that each day since that Monday morning has been gloriously joyful and full of love and excitement to be a keeper of this house and a joyful mother to these children??

Oh, friends, He is so faithful. I am not for one second saying that life is perfect (as if there is perfection) or my days are totally stress-free. What I am saying is that He heard the cry of this tired mama’s heart. He not only heard it, he rescued and delivered me.

He will do the same for you. Cry out to Him, believe Him at His word. I am praying for the tired and ‘numb’ mama tonight. Know you are loved and cherished and that this season will soon pass. (all to quickly)

Blessings, my friends,

Michelle

Overwhelmed

2011-09-29T08:17:00.001-04:00

This word seems to describe to a tee how I feel of late. Not necessarily in the bad sense, I don’t think. I guess it depends on what/who is doing the ‘overwhelming’.

As I have been doing the last minute preparations for our new school year starting next week, I have been a bit emotional. It hit me last night that we are starting our 17th year of home schooling. That is a huge part of my life.

I stumbled across an old paper that had very primitive handwriting on it, that of a very young child. It brought tears to my eyes as I realized just how blessed I have been to have home schooled all these years. I mean I have taught them to read, I have been there for breakfast, lunch and dinner and countless snacks, all day, every day. I GET to be with my children e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e. day!

What a privilege it has been and will continue to be, Lord willing. Molding little souls for my King. Loving and nurturing little hearts. Being the one who GETS to hear their heart, share their dreams. Getting to watch them grow and mature.

So, I am overwhelmed with this precious honor of being a mom, a home school mom.

That is just the tip of the iceberg and all I have time to write about today. There are other things that He has blessed me with that cause me to just bow, bow before Him in gratitude. No words, just tears and humble gratitude.

Really, I GET to be the mother-in-law who gets her daughter-in-law over for a day. I get to take care of her, become friends with her, love on her?? I get to hold that precious little snuggle-buns of a baby all day. Really?

I get to have a blast painting furniture, being creative, meeting people, pouring Jesus out on all who will listen, bless others, AND make money? Really? People ‘want’ my work? Really?

I have the energy and strength to do all this, when not to long ago, getting out of bed took more strength than I had?

This season of life has pushed me to my limit, in a good way. I really don’t think, and I have thought hard, that I have ever had more on my plate, that seems to be ordained by God, then I do right now.

But here is the thing, this ‘overwhelmedness’ ( I know, it’s not a word) is a good thing, I am overwhelmed with His grace, His mercy. I absolutely HAVE to rely on Him, look to Him for my next move. If I think of just one step ahead of Him I am buried, overwhelmed in the bad sense.

This song has ministered to my heart, “More Than A Friend”, of late. I just sit there and sing it, tears streaming down.

“. . .and I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You”

Let Me Introduce You . . .

2011-09-20T08:03:00.001-04:00

to one of the most precious woman in my life. Yikes, ‘woman’. I am calling my daughter a woman!

I have been blessed with a very sweet, tender hearted, creative daughter. This ‘woman’ far surpasses where I was 30 years ago, far exceeds my dreams of just how wonderful a daughter could be.

Victoria is so multi-talented and creative. She loves to cook, bake, sew, craft, knit, crochet, take pictures, play with the little children. She is an avid reader and an accomplished pianist. She loves all things girly and feminine and old fashioned.

She even can look like a movie star, even though she has no idea what a movie star is. lol

(yeah, she’s beautiful too!)

I wanted to introduce you to her because she has a new blog where she sells some of her hand crafts. She has been making beautiful notecards for years now. Friends and family buy them. She even sells them at a ministry in Georgia. Victoria also makes and sells beautiful journals and flower clips for hair.

I invite you to visit her blog, take a look around. See what you might like. In the next couple of days we are going to have a fun give away of some of her products.

Considering myself to be very blessed and humbled by His grace,

Michelle

How His Word Soothes

2011-09-18T09:37:00.001-04:00

I am not sure why it always amazes me, the power, the beauty and the wonder of His word. Do I somehow forget how comforting the living Word is?

It doesn’t matter what ‘season’ we are in, what kind of crazy circumstances or storms we are weathering, His life giving Word can soothe our souls.

This morning my ‘soul’ was feeling a bit frazzled and frayed. Nothing horrible is going on, but life has been at an unusually frenetic pace for the past several weeks. Again, nothing too terribly big, just a lot of busy things.

Simply being a mom to nine (ten if you include my precious daughter-in-law), a Mimi to two keeps me hopping. Thank You, Father for the gift of children and the strength and health to be all that!

Now add into that mix, ministering to who the Lord puts in my path, (why did I ever question if I would have a ‘ministry’?!) figuring out the school year for six children, starting a business of sorts, a very ill father, a mama who is moving across the country . . . oh, yes, feeding, cooking and managing this home. Not to mention, I have an awesome man who needs his woman every now and again.

Can you see how one might be a little frayed around the edges? I have sensed His keeping these past weeks. Often times I hear that still small voice to ‘be still and know’. To keep my eyes on Him and I will have perfect peace. I have had to stop and breathe and say, ‘okay, Father, what next?’

But this morning, feeling a bit like, ‘where do I even start?’ So much swirling around me. My thoughts flit from one thing to the next, no peace. '”What about this? How am I going to do this? Should I be doing that? I want this or that.”

I read Psalm 37. Calm washes over me. Peace begins to reign again. I write out verses that are speaking to my heart.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed .

Ahh, simply trust in Him and do good, do what is in front of me.

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. . . Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. . . And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Delight myself in HIM! Commit all of this to HIM! Trust HIM! He will bring it to pass. Ahh, breathe in, breathe out.

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way . . .

Rest in HIM! Wait and fret not, still breathing.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. . . Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

My steps are ordered by the Lord, even though I fall I shall not be utterly cast down, He upholds me with His hand! I don’t need to do it all, I can rest, I can wait, I can trust, He upholds me.

See how this works?? Don’t you just LOVE His Word? Where do you find yourself today? A bit frazzled and frayed? Have you run to His Word? You really can’t go wrong, the whole book is awesome Share with me what is speaking to your heart lately.

Love you and miss my time here. Thankful for the moments to share my heart.

Homeschool Planning Session {LIVE}

2011-09-09T10:27:00.001-04:00

Okay, today my mom has the children and I am supposed to be planning out our school year. We don’t start until the first week in October each year on strict orders from the principal, as he wants us to make the most of the summer season and doesn’t want me spending all of August ~~obsessing~~ planning school.

Brian and the children left around 9:00 ish. I have ‘put on my face’ (aka make up and hair), had breakfast, responded to some emails, checked blogs.

10:00 am went down to the ~~abyss~~ schoolroom {{sigh}} to see what I could see. Apparently there was a disaster, tornado, earthquake or something, because I am sure there is a table in the center of that room . . . somewhere. We didn’t finish last year all orderly and organized so books are everywhere! I tried to get the principal to call of the school year, but he says we must plow on.

10:15 am can’t stop thinking about painting furniture and the awesome, huge, beautiful barn doors the my husband picked up for me yesterday. Nor can I stop thinking about the plans he showed me last night to make our garage into a “Barn Boutique” for all my {re}imagined furniture!!! Yes, my husband rocks!

These babies are HUGE! We got them for $10 a piece!!! They are going to be the ‘walls’ of my new ‘boutique’. Happy dance, everyone!!

Okay, 10:23 printing up Course of Study for each child (6 of them this year, 10th, 9th, 5th, 3rd, 2nd and preschool!)

I will check in later . . . pray

10:45 am decided to run a load of laundry, sweet distraction, how sad is that?! Went to the ~~abyss~~ schoolroom again, really!? When did this happen? Brought a large container with me this time, lugged up a bunch of books to go through. Smashed my finger and drew blood. Still smiling though, love my job.

11:10 am realizing I need to order more books than I was planning on.

More later . . .

11:45 am seriously making some headway!! Yeah!

12:20 pm have 90% of everyone’s school work chosen and ordered. Now, the hard part, planning it, making copies and scheduling! Well, it is not hard if I prayerfully go about it, trusting the Lord to pull it together.

I definitely think I have made some major progress and am going to reward myself by paint two cute chairs!

2:00 pm Painted two chairs a color I didn’t think I would like, but am actually liking it! cool! Ate lunch and am taking a break. it is so quiet here . . . the UPS lady came and said, ‘where are all those kids?’ I just smiled.

3:22 pm I have been painting and waxing frames, eating Honeycrisp apples with Nutella (shhh, don’t tell anyone) and now I must rest, for I have a date tonight with my rockin’ husband who brought me home those gorgeous barn doors!

Have a great weekend!

Yeah, I Know . . .

2011-08-31T14:57:00.001-04:00

I am SO blessed!

I know she is sleeping and newborns often smile in their sleep, but I think it was because her Mimi was holding her. Don’t you?

I got to spend most of the day pampering and taking care a tired mama whom I love so much and in the mean time, got to hold this sweet little thing!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow . . .

YOU! Have Overcome!!

2011-08-31T08:49:00.001-04:00

This is the encouragement the Lord sent my way this morning, perhaps it will minister to your heart too.

I was led to 1 John 2 and 3

. . . you have overcome the wicked one (1 Jn. 2:13)

. . . because you are strong, the Word of God abideth in you and you have overcome the wicked one (1 Jn. 2:14)

For this purpose the Son of God was manifested that He might destroy the works of the devil. (1 Jn. 3:8)

If Jesus Christ humbled Himself and came to earth, died and rose again, defeating sin and the devil for the express purpose of destroying the works of the devil and redeeming His precious children, then what in the world am I doing wallowing in the ‘mully grubs’—fellowshipping with the devil, allowing his little buddies to defeat me and ruin my day!?!?

Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world!!

Greater is He that is in YOU than He that is in the world!!

I am not sure what mud puddle you might be in today, but get out! Don’t hang out there. Don’t fellowship with the enemy! You have overcome him, believe it, live it, walk it out!!!

Now, don’t be jealous, but I get to have my wonderfully sweet, but tired daughter-in-love and her precious baby girl over for the day. I get to pamper her, MAKE her rest and just love on her. I know, I am so blessed. Don’t go into envy and jealousy

Have an awesome overcoming kind of day!!

The Highs and Lows . . . {sigh}

2011-08-30T08:02:00.001-04:00

Do you ever have one of those days that contain what seems like the most glorious of moments in motherhood only to follow it later with what feels like the most atrocious of moments?

Yeah, me too. I don’t know why it always shocks me. I guess when everything is so perfectly beautiful I have amnesia and forget that it probably won’t always be like this. So, when reality hits, I am jolted; shocked.

Yesterday was one of those days. {sigh} So, I am having a blast painting in the garage, children running in and out showing me things they find, pulling up a milk crate to chat, helping me with little projects, being serenaded with a violin/guitar duet . . . can you hear the angels singing?? I did.

Only hours later the bickering, selfishness, knocked over project that sent a piece of the furniture flying, a complaining toddler, no ideas for dinner and a husband who was working really late . . . can you hear the mama crying?

This summer has been, shall we say, FULL! Our calendar has been very, very full. (with fun things, just full) Also, we, as a family have been in boot camp learning how to really LOVE each other. When God puts you in the “love” boot camp, don’t expect an easy time, trust me! As hard as it has been, He has been speaking to us so richly about “love” and giving us ample opportunity to love.

When I say love, I don’t mean the kind of warm fuzzy feeling that wells up in you as you hold your very new and precious grandbaby. (wouldn’t that be great if that was all there was to love?)

Nope, I’m talking about the God kind of love. You know, love is patient (really?) Love is kind. (good one) Does not behave unseemly?!?! (oops, should of remembered that one last night {sheepish grin} Thinks not her own . . . is not easily provoked . . . bears all things . . . hopes all things . . . endures all things . . .

See what I’m saying?!? It has been a challenging, but good summer. More on “Love Lessons” to come, Lord willing.

I officially have my “blog” for my furniture up. My son moved it to Wordpress and I think it is finally how I want it. (thank you patient Joshua) Would you mind checking it out and letting me know if something is hard to navigate or find? And you can see, in part, why it has been a ~~busy~~ full summer.

{re}imagined . . . just for you

Have You Forgiven Him?

2011-08-25T08:01:00.001-04:00

Is it possible there is a root of bitterness buried deep within your heart? Do you have unforgiveness towards your husband? You absolutely must forgive your husband (everyone else too, but today we are talking about our husbands). Forgiveness is commanded by your Father. It is not an option. . .

Please join me for the rest of this important post over At The Well

We Have A New Grandbaby!

2011-08-19T08:37:00.001-04:00

At 12:15 this morning Jaylin Christine was born! It was so very precious to see Matthew and Elisa do such an awesome job. I had the privilege of being in the room and seeing this precious little thing be born.

How precious to see my son with his baby.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

A Few More Projects . . .

2011-08-15T21:36:00.001-04:00

I can’t find the before to this picture, but imagine the white and gold bedroom set from your youth. LOL With a lot of work and prayer I think I am pretty happy with it. Totally cute, isn’t it?

A very large mirror that I got for a deal. Painted in Old White and glazed.

I got this sweet little drop-leaf table the same day as the mirror. I painted it Provence, lightly distressed and glazed.

Brian and I took a trip to the local St. Vincent de Paul thrift store and found this Ethan Allen table with a hole in the middle of the top. I snatched it up knowing I have peeps who would fill the hole for me.

Here it is completed. I chose Aubusson blue with heavy distressing and glazing. The color of the original table coming through almost has a ‘gold’ hue to it making it look really cool.

This big bad boy was pretty boring and slightly ugly, if you don’t mind me saying so. Please don’t be offended if you have this type of dresser in your house, I do too. LOL

Isn’t it amazing what a little (or a lot, in this case) Chalk Paint can do for a piece of furniture??? I love it. I bought yet another can of Annie Sloan Chalk Paint, this time it was Versailles, a beautiful greenish tan or tanish green, depending on the light. I highlighted some of the trim with Old White and distressed and glazed.

Can you believe it is the same dresser? I was going to replace all the handles and knobs, as I couldn’t stand the original hardware. So I went through the trouble of filling the holes and sanding and sanding, only to realized I did NOT want to put anymore money into this dresser. I had the idea to paint the hardware with the Old White and glaze them and they look AMAZING!

What have you been up to this summer? Oh, and lest you think nothing “spiritual” is going on here, think again! Much to share sometime about what the Lord is doing in my heart of late. I am totally soaking up reading through the New Testament.

Michelle Lynn's Birthday

2011-08-05T11:48:00.007-04:00

Good Morning Ladies, This is Michelle's Mom just wanted to share about my girl.

I would like to share with you about the day God blessed me with a beautiful little baby girl.

It was 45 years ago that I gave birth to the most precious baby girl, she was so small and pink.

When I held her for the first time, I cried, I couldn't believe God would give me such a perfect baby. I promised I would love her with all my heart and protect her from any harm, not knowing how satan would heard that promise and set out to make sure that would not happen. Being a sinner and very broken the events that formed my precious little girl were far from safe. I was not there for her when she needed a Mom the most. I never stopped loving her or praying for her.

God more than anwsered my prayers.

When I look at her now 45 years later, I am amazed at the godly woman she has become. Not only is she a wonderful daughter, a devoted wife, and a incredible mom, she is a great friend, when you are in need of incouragement, understanding and prayer.

Her love for her Heavenly Father and the willingness to hear His voice and obey even when He tells her she's missed the mark. And her willingness to share her struggles with all of us.

Michelle, God has a purpose for your life, I am watching you fulfill that purpose everyday.

I have been priviledged to be your Mom, I love you more than I could ever tell or show you.

I will continue to pray for you daily. Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.

L, Mom

Dearest Mama,

I think it is in everyone. The natural tendency to roll your eyes and shrug off praise.

So, you may not think you are the best Mom in the world, but you are. You may think you are awful at this job of a mom that God has given you. But some rainy day when you feel like everything is against you, read this and know there are 10 people that think you have the most beauty, Character, and Love God ever put into human form. And we'll always think that. Come what may. ;) Love, Victoria.(a.k.a. Sis)

We all Love you and happy Birthday!

Through Fiery Trials

2011-08-05T07:38:00.001-04:00

Hello there, Ladies! I just wanted to let you know that the webinar I did earlier this week is up, you may listen to it here if you are interested. It is about 15 minutes long. I shared on “Through Fiery Trials”. It was a brief telling of our eleven year ‘fiery trial’ and some encouragement for anyone in the valley or ‘fiery trial’.

Through Fiery Trials

I am off to enjoy two days alone with the love of my life! Thanks mom and Noel what an awesome birthday present!!

Yeppers, it’s my birthday. 45 years old! Can you believe it? I cannot! I look way, way to young to be 45, right?

I woke up with a smile on my face today, not just because I get to be with my hubby, alone, for two days, though that is enough of a reason, but because I am so blessed! I don’t have a lot in the material realm, but I have nine children who love me so much, a husband who adores me, a mom and stepdad who loves me to pieces, good friends with whom I trust my heart, health, and you ladies . . . on and on, but most importantly I have a Father in heaven who loves me and sent His Son to save me. Me! A lost, in great need of grace, me! I have a living breathing relationship with Jesus and I love Him so much I think I could bust at times.

So, yeah, I am so blessed and this is probably the best birthday ever! Have a gloriously wonderful day today.

Lord, I pray you open our eyes to the the wonder of YOU today. Help each one of us see Your hand in our lives. Give us hearts of thanksgiving for all You!

I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth!!

So, What Have I Been Up To???

2011-07-29T22:35:00.001-04:00

Well, painting, waxing, stalking Craigslist for steals, making pickles, swimming . . .

Do you see how sad and awful this table looked when we first got it? I was concerned that it was beyond hope.

But look at her now! Isn’t she beautiful? It doesn’t even look like the same table, does it?

Then there was this cute little nightstand that looked like it needed to be {re}imagined.

This picture absolutely does NOT show how beautiful this Aubusson Blue is!

Hobby Lobby, 90 % off and {re}imagined with some Annie Sloan Chalk Paint.

This beyond beautiful pile of antique goodness, which includes a dresser, vanity and gorgeous headboard and footboard, was a wonderful deal and is going to be so b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. when I am done with it!

Very traditional and boring, but not for long! Maybe a Provence blue?

Free piano for Joshua that happens to be a Kranich and Bach, which happens to be an amazing piano! Fully restored pianos like this sell for upwards of $10,000. Score!

This is often the look in our dining room as I am painting anything that sits still for more than a few minutes.

{re}imagined antique fan

Tables in process. Sanding done by Joshua. He is my detail guy.

Luke, well, he is building me some benches for my newly painted and stained dining room table. Yes, we are eating off of our picnic table, going on a week now. The dining room table was just sitting there, waiting to be painted and refinished.

Painting the legs brown so when I paint them Aubusson Blue and distress the brown will show through. This is turning out so beautiful. I will show you the finished product when I am done.

Lacto-fermented pickles.

Brian and I floating together in the pool.

Everyone has chores here.

A day at the beach, where I pulled my calf muscle the first run into the lake! I hobbled and limped into the water the rest of the day, usually needing to be assisted by someone on each arm. It was a great day though.

One more table painted. Isn’t she pretty?

Oh, and I sort of started a business painting furniture. I am working on the blog where I display the pieces I have painted. I don’t know where this will go, but I am enjoying the ride! The name of my “business” is

{re}imagined . . . just for you

Check it out. It is not quite finished, but you’ll get the idea.

The Date Is Set!

2011-07-26T08:54:00.001-04:00

Okay, the date is set for the FREE webinar that I will be speaking on, Morning Motivation. August 3, 2011 at 10:00 AM (central time). You will be there, right?!

I would love it if you could send me a question or two to be answered on the webinar. Just email, shelookethwell (at) gmail (dot) com. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

You Are Going To Love This!

2011-07-24T18:18:00.001-04:00

I have met a really sweet woman, Jennifer, who shares a passion of mine, encouraging women! She is doing three weeks of FREE webinars called, Morning Motivation! Daily Encouragement for Christian Wives!

She has guest speakers lined up each day. I have listened to some of them and they are so encouraging. Only 15 minutes in length, but rich and encouraging. If you simply cannot participate at the scheduled time you can listen to the archived messages. I believe if you listen live you can ask questions and participate.

She has asked me to do one of the mornings, the date is yet to be scheduled. I will let you know as soon as I know.

I plan on sharing testimony of some of the difficult things the Lord has brought me through, including severe Adrenal Exhaustion, loss of six babies and ten years of extremely difficult times! Yes, I know I could never share ALL of that in just 15 minutes, we will see what the Lord has.

I would also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to do a “Q and A”. Perhaps there is something you have always wanted to ask about homemaking, schedules, chores, being a wife, being a mama, etc. If you have read my blog for any length of time you know I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve and I am not afraid to talk about ANYTHING! Please be thinking of question you might have and feel free to email me them or join in and ask them during the webinar.

Be sure to check out Jennifer’s Blog, Morning Motivation. Remember, IT IS FREE! Please go check it out!

Seeing Jesus, Seeing the Father

2011-07-19T20:25:00.001-04:00

It is only two days into ‘Reading the New Testament in 40 days’, and I cannot get enough! Last summer, going through the whole bible in 40 days was an outrageously fast pace read through. I didn’t have time to stop and savor. That is why, in part, I chose to do only the NT. But, I still want to stop and savor. I am trying to journal little things that speak to me here and there, but there are so many neat things!

I have determined to try and really get a picture of the Father’s heart. I know that Jesus was the exact representation of the Father, so as I study Jesus, I see the Father.

One thing I notice so far is that healing is the Father’s heart for His children. Jesus healed ALL who were brought to Him. How many? All! I don’t understand why ‘all’ are not always healed, but I do know His heart is to heal! Go back and look at how many times Jesus healed and delivered in these first two days worth of readings.

There is so much more that I am loving and being convicted of. Matthew 8:13 and 9:29 . . . As thou hast believed, so be it done unto you . . . according to your faith be it unto you! Oh.my.goodness! That can be tough to swallow. What kinds of things am I believing?? Are they all the truth? Just an example of the ridiculous wrong thoughts in the last 24 hours?

This is so hard, I feel so lost. Why bother to figure out our school, never goes how I think it should anyway. What is the point? This child will never change. Today is going to be just as bad as yesterday! I don’t even know what to do and God is not telling me.

Pathetic? And I wonder why I am having a bad day?! These verses shaped me up a bit.

I also loved Matthew 6:7-13 about the Lord’s Prayer. Having grown up Catholic before coming to a saving knowledge of Christ, I am very familiar with this prayer. It took on new meaning as I read the verse preceding it,

for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

I love, love, love, knowing that my Father already knows what I need before I even ask. I felt like He showed me that I get all worked up and almost fret over what I think I need, but He, being a good Father knows exactly what I need! And then, reading the Lord’s Prayer with that in mind, it just popped how much of it is about HIM! and not me. {insert sheepish grin}

Oh, to be at that place (and stay there) where I so know and trust He knows what I need and to just focus on HIM and HIS will. (not me and my will!)

There is so much more that I won’t prattle on about. How about you, what treasures are you finding?

Open our eyes to behold wonderful things out of your Word, O Lord!

There Is Still Time! Join In!

2011-07-18T08:38:00.001-04:00

Today officially starts our “Read Through the New Testament in 40 Days”. It only takes about 30 minutes a day. What an awesome way to close out the summer. Can you think of anything more worthy to spend that 30 minutes on?

Who here could stand to have their eyes opened to behold wonderful things out of His law? I know I could stand to be wiser than all my enemies! Need understanding? Peace? Would you like to be “perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works”? Look no further, jump into His word!

Let’s spend the next six weeks getting to know Jesus, the Word made flesh.

Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. (Psalm 119:18)

For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven. (Psalm 119:89)

Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me. (Psalm 119:98)

How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way. Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. (Psalm 119:103-105)

The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple. I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments. (Psalm 119:130-131)

Thy word is very pure: therefore thy servant loveth it. (Psalm 119:140)

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. (Psalm 119:165)

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Here is the schedule, all you need to do is print it up!

The New Testament In 40 Days

Day 1: Matthew 1-7

Day2: Matthew 8-12

Day 3: Matthew 13-18

Day 4: Matthew 19-24

Day 5: Matthew 25-28

Day6: Mark 1-6

Day7: Mark 7-11

Day 8: Mark 12-16

Day 9: Luke 1-4

Day 10: Luke 5-9

Day 11: Luke 10-13

Day 12: Luke 14-19

Day 1 3: Luke 20-24

Day 1 4: John 1 -5

Day 15: John 6-9

Day 16: John 10-14

Day 17: John 15-19

Day 18: John 20-Acts 4

Day 19: Acts 5-9

Day20: Acts 10-15

Day 21: Acts 16-20

Day 22: Acts 21-26

Day 23: Acts 27-Romans 4

Day 24: Romans 5-10

Day 25: Romans 11-1 Corinthians 1

Day 26: 1 Corinthians 2-9

Day 27: 1Corinthians 10-15

Day 28: 2 Corinthians 16-2 Corinthians 9

Day 29: 2 Corinthians 10-Galatians 4

Day 30: Galatians 5-Philippians 1

Day 31: Philippians 2- 1Thessalonians 2

Day 32: 1 Thessalonians 3-1 Timothy 5

Day 33: 1 Timothy 6-Hebrews 1

Day 34: Hebrews 2-10

Day 35: Hebrews 11 -James 5

Day 36: 1 Peter-1 John 1

Day 37: 1 John 2-Jude

Day 38: Revelation 1-7

Day 39: Revelation 8-15

Day 40: Revelation 16-22

Hungry? Thirsty? Dry?

2011-07-15T21:34:00.001-04:00

Unsatisfied? Longing? Discontent? Lost? Empty? Famished?

Do any of these words describe how you have been feeling lately? They do me. I am in the Word everyday, yet I feel this longing for more.

Last summer, as a family, we felt the Lord leading us to read through the bible in 40 days. Due to schedule and age some of us read the Old or the New Testament or various combinations. I read through the whole bible in that 40 days and it was awesome! It was difficult and very time consuming, but by the grace of God I made it.

Last week I felt the Lord calling me to be in the Word more. As I prayed about it, I decided to read through the New Testament in 40 days. It is only about 30 minutes a day!

I would LOVE it if you would join me. I am going to start July 18, 2011. You can google ‘read through the bible in 40 days’ to come up with a schedule. Let me know if you are going to join in!

Oh, I almost forgot, I am going to be reading through the Psalms and Proverbs during this time too. You know how that works, right? On July 18 I will read Psalm 18, 48, 78, 108, and 138, as well as Proverbs 18. So, you read the Psalm that corresponds to the date and then add 30 until you run our of Psalms and read the Proverb for that date also. Make sense?

Hope you join in!

Nightstand and Lamp Redo

2011-07-13T20:24:00.001-04:00

I almost forgot to take a picture before I started painting these nightstands.

I cannot even count the amount of “tries” I did beforeI came up with the final product. I finally settled on the same green I painted our headboard.

It might be hard to tell, but I really distressed them and then glazed them the same as I did the headboard.

I poly-ed the top and waxed the sides. Ehem. My son actually did the ‘rub-out’ on the waxing, I pleaded that my arm was tired. He took right over. Sweet son.

I did not take a before picture of the lamps, but snapped a picture as they were on their way out the door to Goodwill. I came to despise these lamps.

I found a pair of cream colored lamps at a thrift store for $4!. My dear generous friend, Farmgirlcyn, gave me the black and white toile. I prayed unceasingly, as I have never made a lampshade before and I did not want the finished product to look as though I had indeed never made a lampshade.

A lot of prayers, some hot glue, Krylon Primer (it left a really cool texture) and some black bias tape, and voila! My first lampshades!

Notice the two sweet little birdies? Thrift store, $1 and some spray paint, I know, too cute. I have exchanged my “latte” money for spray paint money I should take a picture of everything that I have spray painted in the last month, might be embarrassing. Next time I hope to show the cool vintage fan I painted.

Using the Word To Defeat Rejection

2011-07-11T21:38:00.001-04:00

If you haven’t read the whole series on Rejection, begin with Rejection Exposed, How Rejection Manifests, and How to Be Free From Rejection.

Once you have repented and removed a spirit of rejection the only thing that will keep you out of bondage and walking in ever increasing victory is the renewal of your mind.

It does no good to remove the spirit of rejection and continue on with the stinkin’ thinkin’ that got you there in the first place. Now that you have begun to recognize the lies from the enemy the real work begins. You must begin to discern your thoughts.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; (2 Cor. 10:3-5)

You have to use the Word of God as your measuring stick.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Heb. 4:12)

I am going to give you the references to some scripture that has really blessed me as I walk this out. Reading, meditating on, writing out the Truth is what will renew your mind. I have recently been using the S.O.A.P method to studying scripture. It has been so beneficial. Are you familiar with it? It is worth checking out.

Psalm 139:1-18 (Memorize this! It is so good)

Isaiah 53:1-6

Ephesians 1:6-7

Deuteronomy 32:9-10

Isaiah 49:15-16

Jeremiah 29:11

Ephesians 2:10

Jeremiah 1:5

Jeremiah 31:3

2 Corinthians 5:17-21

There are so many scriptures that will personally speak to your heart. Be on the look out for ones that speak of the Father’s love and acceptance, or who you are in Him. The Holy Spirit will begin to show you which ones speak to your heart.

Unlikely Friends

2011-07-09T18:14:00.001-04:00

We got two new kitties this week. Maggie and Molly.

Molly is the calico and Maggie is the fuzzy grey kitty.

Molly loves to have her belly rubbed.

Kitty and Peeper cuddling.

Do Unto Others . . .

2011-07-07T08:13:00.001-04:00

I am going to assume your husband is not perfect. Safe assumption? . . . Come read the rest of the story over At The Well.

Pretty Cute, Right?

2011-07-06T17:20:00.001-04:00

I found this table on Craiglist and knew I had the perfect ‘look’ for it. It was a very sturdy table, just old fashioned ‘oaky’ look to it. I knew she could be very pretty.

Ta da!! Don’t you love it?

I primed it with Kilz spray primer. I then spray painted it with several coats of Heirloom White. I couldn’t wait to begin distressing it, that is my favorite part! I finished it off by glazing with some Minwax Colonial Oak gel stain. Just wipe it on and wipe it off. So simple and so cool!

Do you know anybody who would want to buy it? I don’t really have a place in my home for it, I just wanted the fun of making her pretty! So, if your close and would love to give this pretty gal a home, let me know.

I can’t wait to show you what I did to our nightstands!!! You remember the headboard, right? Well, wait until you see the nightstands. Oh, and the lamps that are getting a makeover too. Actually, our whole bedroom is getting a makeover, just taking it slowly, piece by piece.

Announcing the Winners!

2011-07-05T21:23:00.001-04:00

Congratulations

Arwen

Alicia

and

Elizabeth!

Please email me and I will put you in touch with Julia!

It’s Been A Busy Weekend!

2011-07-04T19:57:00.001-04:00

We have been a roofin’, swimmin’, paintin’, stainin’, creatin’, and a eatin’!

We made these delicious, fun popsicles!

These yummy Patriotic strawberries.

We also put sticks in marshmallows, dipped them in chocolate and then dipped them in red, white and blue sprinkles. We, of course had the lick the bowl of leftover chocolate clean, right?

Look what we found under a broody hen!

We took the baby chicks away from their mama ;-( because the other chickens were not playing nice and trying to peck out the baby chick’s eyes! So mean!

The only time the baby chicks are left alone are the hours that my four littles are sleeping. Other than that, they are held, carried, stroked and cuddled.

These chicks are so adorable. When you hold them in your hands on their backs and stroke their tummies, they fall asleep! I am thinking these guys are going to be our new pets. I will draw the line of the chicks sleeping in bed with the children. But, oh my, they are adorable. (until one of them poops in my house!)

We had a wonderfully relaxing 4th of July. Just what this family needed, rest, fun and togetherness! Thank You, Father, for the gift of today.

How To Be Free From Rejection

2011-07-02T19:42:00.001-04:00

Casting blame or throwing a pity party should never be the reason to look back. It does help to see it all, I think, because it really makes it clear to me that it was NOT the person(s) who were ultimately responsible for the rejections and pain in my life.

Yes, people have rejected us over the years, but the truth of the matter is, it is the enemy who is the master mind, not your mother or your father or whomever. Once we have recognized the rejection and pain in our lives, the very first thing we need to do is forgive. Realize that it was not really them, they too were rejected. You know the old saying, ‘hurting people hurt people’. This is so true.

Forgiving someone does not invalidate the rejection, nor does it nullify their responsibility. Their responsibility is NOT our responsibility though! We are commanded to forgive. The following are but a few of the many verses on forgiveness in the Word of God. We simply must forgive if we desire or expect healing and wholeness. Period.

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your transgressions. (Mark 11:25-26)

Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors. (Matthew 6:12)

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Forgiveness is the first and most important step out of rejection and into wholeness. (the subject of forgiveness is beyond the scope of this post, forgiveness, in and of itself could take a whole series of posts!)

I am going to share some things that have been so helpful to me as I am walking out of rejection. I want to point out though, that this is just that, a ‘walk out’. Another word for it might be ‘sanctification’. I personally do NOT buy into the ‘say this prayer, follow these steps and poof! you are walking in freedom.’ It is a daily walk, each step with your Savior.

*You are here, on this earth at this time and in this place because it is the desire of YOUR Father that it is so. No matter what other people have said or think of you, He desires that you be. The sooner you get that and accept it the better. The Creator of everything desires for you to be here.

*You need to accept once and for all that you are loved by God! To believe otherwise is a lie and must be cast down, taken captive and replaced with the Truth. (I will share scriptures to replace these lies in another post)

*Self-rejection absolutely has to go! Do you want to be the one to tell your Father He did a bad job? Just so you know, “woe” is not a very good thing in the Bible.

Woe to him who strives with his Maker!--a worthless piece of broken pottery among other pieces equally worthless [and yet presuming to strive with his Maker]! Shall the clay say to him who fashions it, What do you think you are making? or, Your work has no handles? (Isaiah 45:9)

*Recognize and refuse to take in other people’s rejection. Yep, that is why it is a walk out. I don’t imagine anybody gets this overnight. It is a journey, and you are just a girl!

*Cultivate your relationship with the Godhead, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. You are so loved and cherished, it is insanity to believe otherwise, yet we do, don’t we?

The Lord appeared from of old to me [Israel], saying, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you. (Jeremiah 31:3)

*Make your desire to be free from Rejection, to be whole, known to your Father. Come boldly before His throne and make your requests known (Heb. 4:16)

You might wonder, ‘how in the world can I ever be free from this, it hurts so badly.’ The pain can be so intense and raw, can’t it? Can I just tell you, that from my experience, once the spirit behind the rejection is gone the pain all but goes away? The more you walk out of this, the more the pain goes. There are certain areas that are completely ‘pain free’ for me right now. There are a few left that are a bit tender, but the pain, the deep pain is gone. It’s okay, there is freedom. The Truth shall make you free. You have to trust that God does not lie! When He says that you are Chosen, Holy and Dearly loved, He means it.

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? (Numbers 23:19)

*We have to make a quality decision to choose to receive the Father’s love. We have to make a quality decision to love ourselves and love others. It is time to grow up, pull up our big girl panties and choose to believe the Truth. (phew, I needed that)

Last, but certainly not least, repentance is key to freedom. I have written on this before, it might be helpful to review that post before you go on with the following prayer. We need to take responsibility and repent for listening to these lies and believing them.

The following is simply a ‘model’ prayer. By no means a ‘formula’. Speak to God from your heart, this is just to get you started. He is far more concerned with your heart than He is with your words or just how perfectly you pray.

Remember to forgive all those who have wounded you before you begin.

“Father God, I recognize and take responsibility for allowing a spirit of rejection to keep me in bondage. I repent for listening to the enemy’s lies, for allowing others to determine my value, for believing I am unworthy . . . “

“In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I tell a spirit of rejection to go, I will NOT be listening to your lies anymore.”

It is crucial that we fill our hearts and minds with the Truth. It does no good to forgive, repent and remove, only to listen to the same old lies. We must, must, must renew our minds. We are transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12)

That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. (Ephesian 4:22-24)

Notice the bridge from the old to the new? Renewing your mind. Lord willing, the next post will be, “Demolishing Rejection With The Truth”

Are You Serious?

2011-07-02T09:34:00.001-04:00

Today marks the day that twenty-four years ago I became a mama! Seriously? Twenty-four years!? Yikes! All those years ago, I was entrusted with a teeny-tiny baby, a precious, living soul. I had no idea just how precious that gift was.

Dearest, precious Matthew,

Wow, I can’t even start this without the tears flowing. My heart aches for you to know, to really know how much your Father loves you. To know how much I love you.

Your name means “gift of God”, and that, you have been.

When I found out I was pregnant for you, I was scared, unsure of our future. So many emotions, but one thing I knew, I was so thrilled to be a mama. So thrilled to have a baby of my own to love. That joy and excitement is what pushed all the fears and doubts away. I didn’t care, I had you! Even though I didn’t really know God back then, somewhere deep inside I knew everything was going to be okay.

The years have been filled with every.single.emotion possible, I am sure. So many ups and downs. Life didn’t always turn out like we had planned, but one thing I know, I think I am prepared to say I wouldn’t change a thing. That is big, you know, but I wouldn’t want to change who we are and who we will become because of the circumstances.

I am so proud to be your mama. You truly are a gift. You have taught me things I didn’t even know I needed to learn. You have stretched me to places I have never been. I have made so many mistakes, too many to even count, but you always forgive and love. Your smile, your laughter, your hugs, bring a joy to my heart like none other.

I can not believe you are twenty-four years old! I still see that little boy playing in the little pool . . . that precious face looking up at me . . . I remember your first day of 3 year old preschool, 4 year old preschool, Junior Kindergarten, Kindergarten and First Grade. The only child I know who had five years of school under his belt before being homeschooled in the Second Grade. Sorry it took so long to figure that one out

Teaching you math, trying to convince you that the Saxon text book is NOT wrong . . . playing on the beach, year after year . . . drivers training . . . the long sad drive to Kentucky . . . the wanting nothing more than to hold you close all those years . . . seeing you become a daddy . . . seeing the difference in your face after Georgia . . .

My sweet Matthew, it is a joy and an honor to be your mama! I love you with a love so deep it shocks even me. It is with great, great excitement that I look toward your future. There is no greater joy than to see you walking in the Light, no greater joy than watching you be a husband and a father.

I have just one thing to say,

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

How Rejection Manifests

2011-06-30T22:07:00.001-04:00

In my last post, Rejection Exposed, I gave examples of possible door points for a spirit of rejection to come in and begin to lie to us.

In this post, I would like to show just how a spirit of rejection might manifest in a person’s life. I am not suggesting that each and every one of the following automatically means one has a spirit of rejection. I am merely giving you suggestions that you can take to the Lord and have Him give you revelation on areas of your heart that might need His healing touch.

Ways in which a spirit of rejection manifests:

puts man’s acceptance above God’s
has us searching for love
never allows us to be who God created us to be
causes us to need to be recognized
doesn’t let us receive love from God or others
reminds us of the shame and guilt from the past
keeps us striving and never able to rest
steals our joy
it retaliates when evil is done to it
gives a sense of being unwanted
gives a sense of being unworthy, never good enough
makes us need others to love us, but convinces us they don’t
causes us to withdraw, to write people off
determines our value by whether someone else accepts us or not
#1 defense mechanism is to withdraw
has us always looking for a meaningful identity
makes us feel as though it is always our fault
causes us to feel the need to bear burdens that are not ours to bear

The above are certainly not the only ways in which rejection manifests, but it is a good starting point.

“Father God, we desire freedom from the enemy. We desire to become all you created us to be. If there is any area in our lives that need Your healing touch, please reveal it to us. Give us discernment as we seek wholeness and healing. Give us eyes to see the schemes of the enemy, and to not blame others. In Jesus Name”

The first step to wholeness and freedom is recognition. Once we have recognized rejection’s work in our lives, then what? In the next post, Lord willing, I will share, “How To Be Free From Rejection”

Rejection Exposed

2011-06-29T21:59:00.001-04:00

You have probably experienced it, right? Not being picked. Actually being rejected. It comes in many ways; rejection.

Maybe . . .

. . . you were the girl holding up the wall at the roller rink on Friday night after all the other girls got picked for ‘boys choice’.

. . . you desperately wanted to be a cheerleader and each attempt only met with, ‘sorry, you didn’t make the squad.’

. . . you can remember the breeze from the ‘popular’ girl’s hair as they whip their head around and give you a cold shoulder because you’re not ‘cool’ enough.

. . . you were dumped by the guy you ‘loved’ so much and gave yourself to, heart and . . . body.

. . . you practically ‘sold’ your soul and your body to just be loved, to be desired, to be chosen . . . just this once.

. . . your mama left your daddy, and you wondered what could be so wrong with me that a mama would leave her children.

. . . in fourth grade your teacher told you your handwriting was awful in front of the whole class. She might have been trying to inspire, but the enemy whispered, you’re not good enough.

. . . you were told to ‘lose a few pounds’ and I’ll go out with you.( and you were the farthest thing from overweight!)

. . . you were called awful, cruel names in grade school.

. . . on more than one occasion you were a ‘little girl in a grown up body’ longing to be loved and accepted only to be brought home without a word and never to be called again.

. . . you were a ‘surprise’ to your parents. Maybe they didn’t ‘want’ you.

. . . you never, ever were as good as your sister or brother. Your parents made no bones about the fact that they thought your sibling was wonderful and you, well, frankly, you were not.

. . . your parents want a boy.

. . . you were given up for adoption.

Perhaps the above stories look like a fairy tale compared to your story, or maybe the ‘rejections’ you received paled in comparison and you feel stupid for even struggling with thoughts of unworthiness.

The point is not to determine how badly we were rejected. I write about this to get us to recognize that we have been rejected and that it is a plot of the enemy to keep you from ever accepting and realizing the love that Father God has for us.

The above circumstances and many others like them were ‘doorpoints’ for a spirit of rejection to come in and torment you and keep you separated from the love of God. You see, we will never be able to walk in the freedom and joy that God has for us if we have a spirit of rejection. This evil spirit will never, ever, allow you to receive your daughtership. You will miss out on the confidence of knowing that we are cherished, chosen and loved daughters of God.

Next time, Lord willing, “How Rejection Manifests”

An Exciting Give-Away!

2011-06-28T02:02:00.000-04:00

I am so excited to be able to give away THREE, yes, THREE sets of some wonderful e-books!

I have a very dear friend whose uber-talented daughter, Julia, has written three e-books on making jewelry.

“Julia is a professional jewelry designer and also provides custom jewelry orders. She has done bridal jewelry and other specialty projects and she loves being challenged to create ever better jewelry designs.”

I am so blessed and honored that she is generously giving away THREE sets of three ‘How to Create’ e-books. That means that three very blessed women will receive each of the following e-books: How To Create, Beautiful Beaded Bracelets, Easy, Yet Exquisite Earrings and Noticeably Noteworthy Necklaces! This is a $23.97 value!

I have reviewed Julia’s books, and let me tell you they are so awesome! I knew she was talented, so I suspected they would be good, but had no idea just how professional and well done they would be. The attention she gives to detail is amazing.

The e-books are full of how-to pictures and easy to understand descriptions. Julia tells and shows you what you will need and where to find it. She also gives you other variations for each of the pieces of jewelry at the end of the book. I love this! I am so good at ‘copying’ someone, but then I am stuck for how to change it up a bit. Not a problem with Julia’s ‘How To Create’ e-book series.

Can you tell I think these are awesome?! What a wonderful project to do over the summer with your children or by yourself. The children and I have made our own earrings and bracelets over the years but could never achieve that ‘professional’ look. That won’t be a problem anymore!

The jewelry you create will make beautiful gifts. You will be making professional looking jewelry at a fraction of the cost.

I really want to spread the word about these e-books not only because they are awesome, but also because I am so impressed with Julia’s heart to be a Proverbs 31 woman in any way she can. She quietly serves her family at home and certainly does ‘NOT eat the bread of idleness’. Would you do me a favor and please join me in letting others know about this sweet, young and talented woman.

For an opportunity to win a set of these ‘How To Create’ e-books, please write a post on your blog about the give-away with a link to this post. (It can be just a short mention of the give-away.)

Come back here and let me know you have posted.

Extra entries available for each Twitter and Facebook mention. (come back and let me know you did)

I will draw three winners on Tuesday, July 5, 2011 @ Noon!

Thank you so much for taking part in this Exciting Give-Away and helping me share the word about an exceptional young lady whose heart is turned towards God and family.

Required Listening!!

2011-06-24T11:16:00.001-04:00

Okay, now I can’t really ‘make’ you listen to anything, but, I am strongly suggesting that if my posts on performance, guilt and shame, Drivenness, Never Good Enough Syndrome, as well as really needing to know that you are Chosen.Holy.Loved, spoke to you in any way shape or form, that you listen to the following message. (my dear editor and husband is having a cow about now )

This message is so important to those of us who struggle, at all, in these areas. It is a message of Grace. I would say, that over the years I have whole heartedly agreed with this message, but the way I lived my life was diametrically opposed to it.

Please take the time to listen and come back and comment. It is more than wonderful for the children to listen to it. We have listened to this more than once!

You follow this link and download the Truefaced Message.

And while you’re at it, this song was brought to my attention by a sweet sister in Christ who knew I would LOVE it. She was right.

I Am New by Jason Gray (his story is one amazing story of grace!)

So, there you go, listen to the above two treasures and call me in the morning! Love you all.

Giving Them What They Need

2011-06-22T20:47:00.000-04:00

They just need love. We all do, really. I think our greatest need is to know and experience the love of God. To know in our very core how deep His love is for us. To know He actually chose each one of us to be here at this time, in this place, to be His very own.

To read the ‘rest of the story’, come visit over here today.

Super Cool Garden Project

2011-06-20T16:24:00.002-04:00

I discovered this idea on Pinterest and set out to find a pallet. You can go to the original post, How To Turn a Pallet Into a Garden, she gives far better details than I ever could.

I am very pleased with how this turned out. I do wish I had started it earlier, I wanted to have more herbs in it and my local garden store was sold out by the time I put it together. I did dig up some thyme and marjoram out of my own garden to put in there.

I have lettuce, Swiss chard, alyssum (white and purple), dusty miller (it was the only other kind of flower on the five dollar a flat wagon), basil, marjoram, thyme, a few fillers here and there and viola!

Isn’t it so clever??

Let me remind those of you who have commented that I am ‘so creative’, that while I do have possibly a teeny bit of God given creativity, most of it is copied from other people, and I am okay with that.

PS: This is Brian, and I would like to point out that Michelle is currently battling the enemy and his lies.(note the previous paragraph) As you woman know, she is extremely creative and wonderfully talented in many areas.

A Catch Up Of Many Projects!

2011-06-18T14:13:00.001-04:00

Yeah! I actually remembered a ‘before’ picture! Here is a ‘before’ picture of our plain and boring mantle. It has been like this for years. Why? Lack of inspiration, I guess.

Well, I got inspired! Here it is now! The black mirror was a $3 ugly brass garage sale find that I spray painted glossy black. The tray on the left was a Goodwill find for $2 that had ugly tiles glued to the bottom. I removed them and had my boys cut me a piece of thin wood that I sprayed with chalkboard paint. Love it!

The books are antique books I already had. The super sweet birds nest was compliments of my step dad, eggs and all. The black and white ‘Blessings’ sign was a $2 garage sale treasure. The white and green tin was originally an ugly brass that I picked up for 50 cents. I sprayed it Heirloom White and dry brushed it with my favorite green, stuffed in some hydrangeas I had and, viola!

Another wonderful idea I discovered was this under-the-sink stroke of brilliance! I have been nosing around a website called “Pinterest” and getting all kinds of ideas. I have always been bugged by the spray bottles falling down under the sink. Someone recommended a tension rod to hang them from. I just so happened to have a rod that was the perfect size. It cracks me up how the simplest things make me happy.

This is another project I have been working on. My quiet time table. Sorry, no ‘before’ picture, just an ‘in the middle of’ picture. It was a nice enough table, but I wanted something more fun.

So, I sanded it. Painted it with my favorite green. The same color I used for my headboard. Then I ‘crackled’ it and applied a top coat of creamy white. I then sanded it in spots to remove chunks of paint here and there. The more I took off, the more I loved it. Next step was wiping it with a glaze mixed with some brown paint and wiping it off. I finished with several coats of a spray clear coat. I love it!

Some people don’t ‘love’ the antiqued and distressed look, but I do. I wouldn’t want every piece of furniture like this, but this is perfect.

Here it is in its rightful place, next to my quiet time chair.

Sneak peak! I got this table at Goodwill for $15. It was love at first sight. I called Brian for permission to buy it, anything over $10 I like to check with him. I can get carried away with this passion. Being a furniture lover, he said yes! Wait until you see what I have planned for this!

Hope you enjoyed this lengthy post on what I have been working on lately.

Never Good Enough Syndrome

2011-06-17T07:57:00.002-04:00

Here is what I observe. Most, if not all of the women I am in relationship with or minister to have hearts to please and honor God in all they do. They are not the type of Christian who shows up on Sunday morning for church and then lives like the world the rest of the week.

Nope, they are sold out for Christ. In fact, their lives are marked by an earnest and obvious pursuit to seek, obey, and honor Him in all they do.

Do you know what else I observe? They never feel like they do it good enough. They never measure up. They strive and work to do more, be better, pray harder. They desire to please God so much, but never really feel like they do please Him.

I can relate. “Hi, my name is Michelle. I am a recovering performance based, striving and never measuring up, crazy in love with a God I thought I could somehow please if I could just get it right, Christian.”

Here is the deal, though. I already am good enough. You see, I was chosen while I was dead in my sins to be a child of God! While I was completely NOT doing it right, he picked me to be His own. He made me holy and blameless in His sight. I am complete in Him. I am covered with the robe of righteousness.

Sounds good enough, don’t you think? When I read through the Word of God and see who God says I am – who I really am – aren’t I living in some serious unbelief when I live my life from such a place of striving? Isn’t performance, the never good enough syndrome, really unbelief? When I live from this place, aren’t I saying, “I don’t believe You, God?” (um, ouch!)

We need to recognize that this belief system is from the pit of hell. The accuser of the brethren desires to keep us chasing our tail always trying

SO.HARD.TO.GET.IT.RIGHT

but never able to arrive at that place of feeling ‘good enough’.

The fact that we fall down and sin everyday has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, in Him, we already are good enough! He made us good enough.

I don’t care how many people the enemy used over the years to whisper – you are not worth it – you are not good enough. They were and are all lies.

You, my sister are worth it. You are indeed good enough! It is not me you need to believe, though, it is your Heavenly Father who loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you.

Repeat after me. “I am worthy because Christ made me worthy.” “I am Chosen. I am Holy. I am Loved.” “I am loved with and everlasting love.” “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” “ He made me on purpose knowing every mistake I’d make, and He still chose me and loves me because it is NOT based on what I do, but who I am in Christ!”

Need I go on? If you struggle with this and just can’t seem to grasp this concept, please email me for prayer or to answer any questions you might have. I have certainly not mastered this, but I love sharing what I am learning.

I Guess I Just Need Reminders!

2011-06-15T22:39:00.001-04:00

In the kitchen . . .

In the living room . . .

In the bathroom . . .

And around my neck . . .

You can read here for a reminder of why these three words are so important to me right now.

How To Harvest Basil

2011-06-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

With Summer nearly upon us, I thought it would be helpful to repost this very popular post on How to Harvest Basil. It is one of my posts that receive the most hits. Enjoy.

In this post I have a few photos trying to show how I harvest basil. I also have a video explaining the process. This Perfect Pesto recipe is what I use.

I plant tons of basil plants each year because we LOVE Pesto! Pesto Pizza, Pesto Pasta, Pesto Focaccia . . . Oh my!

I have found if I keep the basil plants harvested frequently it keeps them from getting 'leggy' and also from going to seed. I get a drastic reduction in basil if I just let the plant go. Just about every week or as often as I need it, I go through all my plants and pick all the leaves I can.

It might be hard to tell in the picture, but my scissors are just about the snip the stem right at the base of a newer set of leaves. Can you see them?

It is so easy to do. Find a 'leaf cluster' and follow the stem down. You are looking for where the leaves branch out and are starting a whole other set of leaves. I try to go as far down the plant as I can to keep it stocky and bushy. Don't ever clip the stem where there is no other set of new leaves, it will stop producing. Your goal is bushy with lots of new leaf sets growing.

Here is another shot of the base of the stem with the new leaves on either side.

Have you discovered the delightful taste of basil? Do you grow basil? What do you use it for?

Cheap and Easy “Chalkboard” Labels

2011-06-12T20:47:00.001-04:00

Go here to download the chalkboard font called, “Eraser”
Open the zip folder with the font and double-click the font file
When the font file opens, click “Install” This will install the font in your system
Open Microsoft Excel
Type each label you want in a column of cells
Select all the cells with your labels in them
Change the font to “Eraser”
Change the font to the size desired
You will need to adjust the cell size to fit the text
Change the fill color to black
Change the font color to white
Print the selection

13. Cut out each “label” and tape to your item to be labeled.

I use 3M Packing Tape for just about everything! If I am labeling a jar I just tape the ‘label’ to the jar. If I am taping it to a basket or going to attach it with a ribbon, I ‘laminate’ the label with my packing tape and then attach it. Does that makes sense?

One tip to save on printer ink is to only make the label the size you need. You don’t want to print up a lot of extra black!

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I will submit your questions to my wonderful ‘tech support’, the one who did this wonderful post for me! Thanks Josh.

Another Crafty Treasure!

2011-06-10T10:58:00.001-04:00

I found these two pieces at our local thrift shop.

A bowl with a pedestal base.

A platter.

I used a two part epoxy glue.

One can of Krylon Ivy Leaf Green spray paint.

and

Voila!

I love it! It is so pretty! I must admit my newest passion just might be spray paint. I love this stuff. So much better than it was years ago. So easy to use.

June Garden Tour

2011-06-08T21:18:00.005-04:00

I thought it would be a good idea to post a video of our gardens this summer. I plan to do this the first Saturday of the month for the rest of the summer.

Maybe I will include some tips, recipes or just some odd things that might be going on that particular Saturday. Kind of a ‘day in the life of’ type of thing. I hope you enjoy it. If you ever have questions about how we do things or what we do, please feel free to ask.

Saturdays are always ‘work’ days around here. Brian and I typically start the day with a ‘latte meeting’ to plan the day and make the to-do list for everyone. It is usually pretty extensive. Everybody has many chores to do, and we all work together the whole day.

These videos start right out the back slider and take you through the back yard to the gardens. Sorry about the wind noise a couple of times, I’ll try to fix that next time. I’m not a professional, you know, I just play one on TV.

Look What I Got!!

2011-06-05T09:26:00.001-04:00

The Lord has been doing such a healing in my heart lately. He continues to go deeper, healing areas I didn’t even know were still there.

Three words have been key in this healing. They have been muddling around in my heart and mind for weeks. I wholeheartedly believe that if we really, really had a grasp these three words, and understood the meaning behind them to our very cores . . . the truth of these words literally demolish many, if not all, of the fundamental lies of the enemy.

Do you want to know what they are?

Chosen . . . Holy . . . Loved

Knowing that I have been chosen before the foundation of time by my Father tears down the lies of rejection. Understanding that I am chosen, I mean really understanding, is healing balm over every wound of rejection over the years.

Grasping the fact that I have been ‘set apart’ and am holy and blameless before Him shuts the mouth of the accuser of the brethren, Satan. When I really grasp this concept his lies of my unworthiness and wretchedness meet with a deaf ear.

Nothing has been more clear to me in the past year that THE biggest need of all human beings is to be loved. To know that we are loved and cherished. I have seen the love of God heal and deliver. I have seen the love of God cast out fear. Love heals. We try to fill up this need for love with many things. Our souls long for love, acceptance, to be cherished. The love of a good man is wonderful. The love of our children blesses our hearts. But nothing, NOTHING will ever fill our need to be loved, but the love of our Father through His Son, Jesus Christ.

So, Chosen, Holy, Loved.

See the significance of three little words with huge meanings?

Don’t you just love it??!! I adore it.

This is the necklace I had made by a sweet, sweet woman, named Lora. I highly suggest you check out her wonderful Etsy shop.

Be forewarned, if you are anything like me, you might just want one of everything she makes! For those of you who loved Ann’s book, One Thousand Gifts, you might love this necklace, as I did. I almost bought it, but I am glad I waited, this is the one my Father wanted for me!

Lora worked with me to make this necklace just how I wanted it. I told her what I was thinking and she made it happen and I had it in my anxious hands in a week!

Lord willing, I hope to expound on how deeply these three words have affected me. The Lord also has brought a book across my path that is ministering these truths to me. I haven’t finished it yet, when I do, I will post a review of it.

You, my sister, have been chosen by the God and Father of the Lord Jesus Christ. He picked you!! He made you holy and blameless before Him. He looks at you through the blood of Christ. All your shame and unworthiness is gone as far as He is concerned. And, sister, you are dearly loved with an everlasting love. Let these words sink in and heal. You are Chosen, Holy and Loved!

Book Winners Announced!

2011-06-03T18:28:00.001-04:00

Thank you to everyone who joined in.

The winners of the book Shepherding A Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp are . . .

Jenn, from a Country Girl’s Ramblings

and

Rebecca from, Chicken Scratching's

Congratulations!

Email me with your address so I can get them out on Monday!

Two Books To Give Away!

2011-05-28T11:25:00.001-04:00

I have two copies of a very good parenting book called, Shepherding A Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp.

I read this book years ago and again in the recent years. It is a very good practical and balanced book on shepherding your children’s hearts.

I have acquired two copies that I would love to bless someone with. All you have to do is leave a comment saying you would like the book! That’s it!

I will draw a winner on Friday, June 3, 2011.

Next week, Lord willing, a “Tutorial to Cheap and Easy Chalkboard Labels”.

Have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

More Spring Projects

2011-05-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

This Spring has been all about organization and projects! I love it. Due to health issues and coming out of a very difficult season in life, if feels delightful to be able to do the things I love. One of which is ORGANIZING! I am awful at taking ‘before’ pictures as I am usually in a snit fit to get organizing that I don’t want to stop to take a picture. Sorry, it really would be more dramatic with a before and after photo.

In our bathroom I put these cute, cheap matching baskets in Brian and my drawers. I spray painted the little tins that hold the nail clippers and Q-tips. I painted them black. I found this really cool shelf liner paper. I adore black and white right now. So clean and crisp. Don’t you think?

This is my drawer. I purged tons of old make-up products that I kept for . . . for what, I don’t know. I even lined my box and baskets with the pretty black and white shelf liner, just for the “pretty factor”. It makes all the difference in the world, for me, to have small baskets to keep things in. If I just have one big basket I throw them every which way.

Moving on to our bedroom closet. If you knew what was on these shelves for ten years you would know why it thrills me to see this closet! I leave the doors open sometimes just for fun! I had the big white baskets from a kitchen makeover about 6 years ago that I never used. They were perfect. I put an extra shelf in to use up as much space as I could. The other baskets were from the Dollar General.

I even replaced the mismatched baskets above Brian’s side of the closet with matching white ones. We keep things in there that we don’t need that often, as it is quite a reach.

Now, for the back bathroom! I so wish I had before and after pictures!! This was my nemesis for years. I never could figure out what to do with these cabinets and above them. It was always a mess. Now it looks so nice!! They are the cabinets above the washer and dryer.

In the baskets I have extra rolls of packing tape (the down side to buying in bulk) and light bulbs. I made cute little labels for them, ‘laminated’ them and tied them with a ribbon.

Behind the door on the right are the laundry products. It just so happened to work out that the laundry detergent I use comes in a white container. (yeah!) I removed the label from the bleach and replaced with my fancy ‘chalk board’ labels. I put the Downy in a quart jar because we only use Downy on Saturdays for our sheets. (I still love the smell of fresh Downy sheets) No sense having the super huge Costco size bottle taking up space, that is down stairs in the storage room. (I should show you that sometime, organized, though not as pretty)

See how much space I have since purging and organizing?

This is the left side of the cabinet. I purged out a ton of large vases! How many do I really need? And, they are like a quarter at Goodwill if I ever want more! I’d rather them store them than me.

I am not totally thrilled with the slight curve in the little shelving stand I have, but it serves its purpose and it was free. Found it in my garage.

I have a bunch of skinny, tall vases that I line up on the kitchen window sill that are always falling over so I put them in their own basket. The short vases, are just that, short, so there was always a waste of vertical space. They got their own basket. Any other odd size vases got their own basket too. I try not to let the fact that the two baskets on the left are blue, they were only a dollar each, just wish they were white. I’ll be okay, though.

This little cutie patootie table was only $2!! It was unmarked at a garage sale and I thought they might be asking $10 for it, and I was willing to pay $5. Imagine my delight and inside squeals when the gentleman said $2!! It was a country blue and painted very well, but you know how I feel about green! I wanted to distress it like my headboard, but it was blue under the green, not white. I did apply a light rubbing of stain over it to make it look a little more rustic. It is so cute by the back door. I came in from gardening the other day and set my seed basket on it, I think I’ll keep it there. Looks kind of cute, don’t you think?

On to the pantry!!! One of my favorite spots in the house. This is the rack that has been on the door since we moved in. I have finally accumulated all the same size spice jars. It has taken awhile to figure just what spices I use on a regular basis too. I also removed all the Costco size containers from the top shelf in put them in jars. (except for that rogue bottle on the left, I really just want to throw it away)

Doesn’t it look so cool to see all those labels???

The top shelf here has the more commonly used spices in my house. Italian seasoning, chili powder and cumin deserved larger jars.

I put a ‘sweeteners’ label on the shelf, as things never seemed to get returned to where they belong.

This is the lower rack. A spot for the oils, vinegar and the baking powder, soda, salt and cornstarch (which is really arrowroot, just haven’t changed the label) . . .

On the bottom row I removed all the oddball boxes of tea and put them in jars. Love it!

On a tiny wall just inside the door I have these really cool square jars. I bought them when we did the kitchen remodel six years ago. I reorganized an repurposed them.

Oops, the millet jar is really popcorn. The jar used to be used for millet, I just labeled the other side. I have MY Tazo Cucumber White tea squeezed in between two jars. I drink this every single morning, so it is in a convenient spot. (right there next to chocolate chips, hmmmm)

The bottom shelf in the pantry has baking supplies, flours and sugars. I even made cutesy labels for the onion and potato baskets. Did you get the idea that I love to label thing sin my home? As far as I am concerned, an organizing project isn’t finished unless it’s labeled. Just my opinion.

Phew! That was a long post! I know there are more projects, this is just what I remembered today. I will have to show you all we have done in the garden too. That was the other huge Spring project. Oh, and the guys are doing the roof as we had some leaks and it is nearly 25 years old. Does it ever end? Hope you enjoyed the tour.

My Train Has Crashed!

2011-05-26T07:25:00.001-04:00

For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:8-9)

These verses have convicted me lately. On a good day, they can sound all romantic and flowery. But on a day when I think that I have a better idea, it is not so pretty. Trust me.

A very dear and Godly woman shared that marriage was not about me on my own train, Brian on his, the both of us side by side on the tracks of life riding off into the sunset happily ever after. Not so! Once I married Brian, my train had actually crashed! I was now on his train. . . to read the ‘rest of the story’, head on over to “At The Well”.

He’s Still My Baby

2011-05-24T13:10:00.000-04:00

This is just about the only time of the day that this little guy slows down. I don’t know why I love taking pictures of him sleeping, he is just so peaceful.

He is definitely loved!

He is my baby. He is three and a half years old. I have been longing to be pregnant again, but as the years tick by and me approaching 45 this year, I can only wonder if Elijah will always remain my ‘baby’.

I can say that I have learned a thing or two by the time I got to number nine. Praise the Lord. I was beginning to wonder We spent the last week potty training our ‘baby’. What have I learned? WAIT! Wait until they are ready, especially the boys. I have always pushed and regretted it. Not this time. Nope. I didn’t care if he was going to go to college in diapers. Just kidding. One day he decided it was the day and he had one accident the following morning. But not one since! He even goes poo on the potty, which hasn’t always been the case with other children in the family who shall remain nameless. (ahem)

Perhaps in the years to come Elijah won’t appreciate this picture being on the world wide web, but I can’t help but somehow mark this milestone with a picture. Oh, and it is where I spent the better part of the last week.

I know you hear it often, but it really does go so fast.

Before you know it all the days of endless diaper changes and sleepless nights will be filled with wishing for just one more of those days. Does it really get any better than being a mama?? (hard as it is)

Pictures of Our Celebration

2011-05-23T17:47:00.001-04:00

All the children were so helpful in getting things ready for the party. This little guy was the holder of the lilacs as his sister cut them. Isn’t this adorable?

Our eldest, his wife and Victoria waiting to feel our precious granddaughter move. I never did get to feel her kick!

After the meal we gathered to sing praises and share testimonies of what the Lord has done in the last year. It was a sweet time of fellowship around the Lord.

Then, I called everyone over to the side yard without telling them what we were going to do, just in case they were going to chicken out. I taught them the “Electric Slide” to the song Just a Closer Walk With Thee by Bart Millard. It was a blast!

Even the, ahem, older folks joined in. Everybody seemed to be going in different directions at times, but we didn’t care, we were just having fun!

Wish you all could have been there!

Trash To Treasure

2011-05-21T18:49:00.001-04:00

I have been wanting a new headboard for a long time now. I knew I wanted some type of ‘shutters’ for my headboard. On one of our treasure hunting garage sale days I found an old bi-fold closet door for $2! I knew if I cut them in half they would be perfect.

It is no secret I adore GREEN (and purple), so I set about to find the perfect green. Here is the before.

The pictures do NOT do it justice. I painted them with three coats of a gorgeous green and then sanded them in random places. I then took some old stain we had and rubbed it on lightly. I wiped off the excess and it was beyond beautiful!!!

Here is the ‘after’ picture. Aren’t they so, so cool!?

I have been so busy with tons of projects around the house this Spring. Lots of organizing, purging, painting, and gardening. It has been such a busy, yet delightful time. I hope to put up more pictures of the various projects I have been working on. What have you been up to?

It Was A Slow Fade

2011-05-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

Ten months prior to my healing last May 19 was not really the beginning of my sickness. Over these ten months, my physical body finally collapsed under the weight of many spiritual issues.

It took a lifetime to get that sick. It wasn’t diet or pregnancies or anything else physical, really.

It began slowly, years of whispers from the enemy through other people and circumstances.

There were many rejections over the years that convinced me that I wasn’t good enough. These programmed me to believe that if I just worked harder, did more, was better, prettier, thinner… then I would be loved. Performance began to become a way of life. If I did really, really well and did more than everybody else, maybe someone would notice and love me, accept me, pick me and choose me.

The descent into a life dominated by Fear (yes, I capitalize it because it is an evil spirit and it has a name: see 1 Tim 1:7) began slowly and subtly. The fears produced from a very insecure childhood set me up to not trust, and to fear abandonment. The fear of losing the love I did have was hard on our early marriage. As long as I held on really, really tight, I could control just about everything; or so I thought.

Jesus saved us and it was better for quite some time. Our world was a happy, held together, organized, controlled little world, but not for long. It slowly began to unravel when some pretty horrible and frightening things happened to our family. These were beyond what we could cope with, but we held on as best we could. Severe fear, stress and anxiety began to rule my heart. I didn’t see it. It was all I knew to do to cope.

Years of dealing with a rebellious son and all that goes with that. Giving birth to number four, and then number five, then an emergency ectopic pregnancy. Two 17 week miscarriages that shook my very fragile world and fragile faith. Fear was a way of life now.

We became one, fear and I.

I did go on to give birth to three babies in three years during extremely difficult circumstances with our son. Yes, fear was ruling my mind and heart.

More years of ups and downs with our son, mostly downs, and another difficult, and this time, painful pregnancy.

Looking back, I see my illness had little, if anything, to do with the physical, it was a full on spiritual attack that had amplified slowly over the years. I was totally ill-equipped to see it or handle it.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I had an incredible relationship with the Lord through all of this. I was just completely and utterly blind and had been taken captive in many areas of my mind by the devil to do his will. ( see 2 Tim. 2:26)

It was a slow fade; a long term plan of my enemy to steal, kill, and destroy my life and each member of my family.

I can honestly say my healing and deliverance was nothing but an awesome display of my Father’s mercy towards us. Our family was spiraling down due to my health. Hope was something that had become foreign to me, by then. As deep of a slimy pit as I was in, I had no idea just how deep and how it was our whole family that needed deliverance.

Last May, when we began to have the Truth poured into our hearts by the bucketful, it was nothing short of MERCY. Slowly, for the first time in many years it was all beginning to finally make sense. Puzzle pieces were finally fitting together.

When my mom tells the story, she uses the word miraculous. While it looked “miraculous” because I was sick one day and healed the next, it really wasn’t a miracle. I reserve the word miracle for things like, someone raised from the dead, a new limb grown where one was not – the miracle of new birth.

No, this wasn’t a miracle, it was simply the power of the Word. Truth. It was the Truth that made me free and continues to make me free. (John 8:32) Once the spiritual lined up, my body lined up. My body didn’t need the healing as much as my spirit needed cleansing (2 Cor. 7:1) and once that happened, once the Fear, the Rejection, the Accusation, etc. was gone, my body began to function like it was supposed to.

Praising our faithful and merciful God for one year of continued health and continued deliverance!

Psalm 30

I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me.

O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.

O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.

LORD, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.

I cried to thee, O LORD; and unto the LORD I made supplication.

What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth?

Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be thou my helper.

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;

To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Surprised By a Smile

2011-05-19T11:54:00.001-04:00

She had slept soundly for the first time in many years. Before her eyes even opened something strange had happened. Her hands traced the outline of her lips. She was smiling. Her eyes startled open.

What was this feeling inside her? Just yesterday there was heaviness, today a distinct lightness. Before, profound hopelessness, now hope and joy. Strength and energy replaced extreme exhaustion. The wonder of it all was almost more than she could contain. What a gift, and a surprise gift to boot. Aren’t surprise gifts the most fun??

Ladies, I know we need to believe the following things simply because they are the Word of God, not necessarily because we see, feel or experience them. But, can I just encourage you as someone who has seen and felt and experienced them?

Joy absolutely, truly ooly does come in the morning.

Deliverance comes from the Lord ALONE.

He really does turn our mourning into dancing.

Jesus still heals the broken hearted.

Jesus still proclaims liberty to the captives.

He still opens our prison doors.

Comforts those who mourn.

Gives us beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning.

He gives us the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness!! Hallelujah!

AND

He is no respecter of persons! What He offers for one, He offers for all who come to Him!

Rejoice with me today?! This very day, one year ago is the day I woke up with a smile on my face. Tomorrow we are having a celebration with close friends and family to celebrate what the Lord has done. I will also be sharing a testimony tomorrow.

When I think about the Lord . . .

Makes me want to shout HALLELUJAH!

Who Told You? (part one)

2011-05-16T19:12:00.001-04:00

The scales continue to fall of in so many areas of my life. It seems the Lord reveals lie after lie I have believed over the years that have heaped burden upon burden.

One question He asks me that has become instrumental in my freedom is, “Who told you?” Seems simple, but trust me, it is profound! He asked Adam and Eve that same question in the garden. “Who told thee that thou was naked?” (Gen. 3:11) (who else was with them in the garden?)

Let’s try a few ‘who told yous’ here. I challenge you to begin to ask yourself this question, especially in the areas where you are perhaps feeling guilt, or just plain beat up.

There is great freedom in discerning whose voice led you to do something, Your Father or the enemy. And, even more freedom in letting go of what is not from God.

Who told you that you never do it good enough? Your mothering, your home keeping, your wife-ing? Better yet, go deeper, who has been telling you your whole life you didn’t do it good enough?

Who has told you that you are not tall enough, pretty enough, thin enough, quiet enough, speak up enough? Who told you that nothing you do is ever good enough?

Who told you that you have to be 100% consistent with child training for you children to turn out okay? Perfectly consistent!? That is the message spoken in many popular child training authors, speakers and bloggers. Really? Does God expect us or ask us to be 100% consistent? Wouldn’t that be perfect? Last I checked, not one of us is or will be perfect or perfectly consistent at anything. Who told you? God or man?

Who told you that you need to use this particular curriculum and be this kind of mom? Just because Sister Suzy and “everybody” else reads ‘all’ the classics snuggled on the couch all day, every day, takes nature walks daily, and does lots of fun unit studies all with great joy and organization does NOT mean that God is leading you to do these things! Who told you that you have to do those things? If your Father didn’t, why carry the burden any longer?

If you are bound by any dietary rules, even if you don’t quite see it as bondage (yet), I ask you, “who told you that you couldn’t eat carbs or meat or grains?” I am just asking, I know this one can be a ‘sacred cow’ for many. Just ask yourself, ‘who told me I can’t eat {fill in the blank}, was it God or is it possibly a ‘doctrine of devils’? * see disclaimer at the end of post.

These are just a few “who told yous”. I encourage you to seriously ask yourself this question in all areas of your life. The enemy is so subtle, at times. He somehow convinces us we just have to do something that sounds good and even Godly, yet may never have been from our Father.

* (Disclaimer: most of you know some of my “beliefs” about foods and which might be better choices. Even so, I am reevaluating these beliefs to see which ones line up with the Word and wisdom and which ones were based on fear. When I have written on this topic, my goal has never been to put a burden on anyone. I have encouraged you to seek God and your husband’s counsel before making changes.)

I Am Done Waiting

2011-05-11T08:38:00.001-04:00

What am I waiting for?! I have been “waiting” for years. Waiting for what? Waiting for life to be . . . “perfect” . . . “normal” . . . or “whatever”, to be happy.

How many more years will go by before I realize that there is no “perfect” or “normal” or {{{fill in the blank}}}.

The lie is that When . . .

when my children obey
when I lose weight
when I get pregnant
when I get married
when my house stays clean
when my house stays picked for longer than a nano-second
when it is quieter
when life slows down
when I feel better
when the children are grown
when we make more money
when I have time for friends
when my husband treats me better
when the weather get nice

When . . . When . . . When . . . !!

The truth is, today, right now, the mess, the crazy, the loud is really what I have been waiting for, I just don’t realize it. You, Lord, are right here, Jehovah Shammah, the Lord Who is there.

All the circumstances that I long to be ‘just so’ will only be morphed into other circumstances I long to be ‘just so’.

I am done waiting! I am dancing, NOW. I am laughing, NOW. I am seeing, NOW. I am ‘smelling the roses’. Tip-toeing through the tulips. Seizing the day. No more waiting, You are already here, and You are truly all I need.

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth."
— William W. Purkey

Care to join me? Let’s end the waiting and embrace the NOW! Let’s dance and sing and spin with praises for our God, what have we got to lose?

He Knew

2011-05-09T08:46:00.001-04:00

You are ‘good enough’ (actually way better than ‘good enough’, but this is the lie that some of us here. The, ‘I’m not doing {{{it}}} good enough.’)

Our Father loves you and is so pleased with you, right where you are at in your walk with Him.

Your value has nothing to do with the size of your body, how your house looks, how well or poorly you do anything. He loves and accepts you. Period!

He knew before you were born EVERY.SINGLE mistake you would make. He knew what you would be good at and what you would be bad at. He knew what weaknesses you would have and what strengths. He knew what things you would really struggle with and what things you would conquer easily. He knew every hurt that would come your way and how well or poorly you would handle it.

He knew all these things, yet He still chose you! HE PICKED YOU! Chose you to be His own, to love you with a love beyond comprehension. He laid down His life for you, so that you could be called a son (daughter) of God.

You are no surprise to Him, and you are certainly NOT a disappointment to Him.

He loves and accepts you the way that you are right now. He knows who you were, who you are and who you will become, and He smiles and rejoices over you! He picked you!

Stop trying to measure up, you already do.

Looking Back

2011-05-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

One year ago today, the Lord started us on this beautiful, wonderfully exciting journey to freedom; wholeness, actually.

I had received my copy of A More Excellent Way three weeks prior to this day. I knew immediately upon reading this book that after months and months of searching for answers, we were about to see some serious answers to our cries.

We set out right away to try to get me to Georgia for the For My Life Program. I remember it seemed like everything came against us. My mom and her husband were scheduled for a trip to Europe. (they would be the ones to stay with the children) I knew they would help cover the cost, so that was not an issue. The timing of the tickets, the hotel and the program were not coming together. But the biggest obstacle was leaving the children, we just didn’t have a peace with our options.

My heart sunk. I knew this was what we were supposed to do, but we just couldn’t make it happen. I just didn’t understand why we couldn’t go! I really struggled with anger towards God and accusation towards Him during this time. I was getting worse and all the doors seemed to be closing. ‘Why wouldn’t He let me go?’ “Why would He dangle this in front of me only to yank it away?’ (yes, I now see how heavily I was under the influence of the enemy, the Accuser)

We finally realized that going to GA was not an option right now and decided to pursue the For My Life Online Program.

Little did we know that this was exactly the Lord’s will for our family. Had Brian and I went to GA our family would have missed out on getting this teaching together. The Lord used to it to set our family free, not just Mom and Dad, who in turn would have to come home and hope to share what we had learned with the children, but the whole family.

On May 3, 2010 we started the FML online program. And so began our journey to wholeness. We watched approx. 2-2 1/2 hours a day. This was challenging as we had to work it around Brian’s work, life, a very sick Mama and littles. We watched an hour in the morning before all the littlest were up and in the evening after they went to bed.

I look back with great joy as I remember those three weeks of sitting under amazing teaching straight from the Word of God. It was so good. The weeks were not without their major bumps, but looking back now, it was awesome. We learned, we grew, we REPENTED of so much yuck, we cried (hard) as the scales were peeled away. Those weeks were emotionally draining yet extremely refreshing and exhilarating.

I highly recommend the book A More Excellent Way if you are struggling with health issues in any way. Please, if you have any questions regarding anything to do with the Adrenal Fatigue/Exhaustion that I struggled with or my healing and deliverance, please, please feel free to ask me! I want nothing more than to see others set free from the oppression of the enemy and to walk in the fullness the Lord has for them.

Oh, to the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to YOU! and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever!!

Dear Blog Friend Lost Home . . .Pray!

2011-04-28T12:35:00.001-04:00

Kelly Crawford, from Generation Cedar is a very dear blogging friend. We have been friends since I started blogging. Her home was destroyed by a tornado.

Another friend, June, from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home has set up a way to make donations for the family. Please prayerfully consider donating and please be praying.

Please take the time to follow the above links and respond as the Lord leads. Hug your children extra tight and thank God for the blessings we have. I know I am. Love to all!

Out of the Pit

2011-04-26T08:35:00.002-04:00

For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. (Psalm 40:12)

I have been looking back at last year’s journals and posts. Beginning with the last week in March through the middle of May, were the absolute worst eight weeks of the Adrenal Fatigue/Exhaustion. Which is hard to believe, because 10 months earlier when I officially “crashed”, I was shockingly sick.

I began to spiral downward. Nothing, absolutely nothing was working to stop it either. Not the hundreds of dollars each week in quality supplements. Not the impeccable diet or the copious amounts of physical rest. (I say ‘physical’ because there was zero internal rest going on) Nothing.

I shake my head in awe today, when I look back. How He took me from the pit and put me where I am today just astounds me!

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. (Psalm 40:2)

One thing that was so shocking to me is that it was 100% spiritual. Oh, I know we don’t like to talk about that, do we? For some reason we feel accused when someone mentions that maybe a sickness is a fruit of unrighteousness in our lives. We like it better if we can keep it in the physical realm. Something concrete to pin it on. Something, you know, not my fault.

I think if we could really understand how connected we are, spirit-soul-body, we wouldn’t feel so threatened.

You see, while absolutely, 100% of my symptoms were as real and physical as they could be, behind them or the cause of them, was spiritual. The physical is affected by the spiritual. I believe this is the case way more than we know and way, way more than we give credit for.

If we had an understanding of how our thoughts affect our bodies, how our thoughts, participation with sin affects the physical, we wouldn’t be so ‘scared’ to admit that a little repentance and deliverance might alleviate some of the symptoms, syndromes and diseases we are dealing with.

When we think of ‘sin’, we think of the more obvious sins, lying, stealing, cheating, murder, ect. and we think, ‘what sin could be behind my illness?’ Well, I am talking about things like FEAR!, guilt, rejection, envy, jealousy, feeling unloved, self-hatred, self-bitterness, and more. (these are every bit sin as the above sins)

So many of us suffer needlessly because we are looking in the wrong place for healing! Many, many “diseases” and “syndromes” are not going to be healed through diet, or supplements or drugs or by ‘confessing’ yourself healed.

My heart aches, especially for the Mamas who are sick and have no clue why. (My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge . . . Hosea 4:6) If you know a Mama or are a Mama who is sick with some malady like Adrenal Fatigue/Exhaustion, any of the symptoms that go with it like, depression, anxiety, hypo-glycemia, extreme exhaustion, hypo or hyper-thyroid or any other ‘syndrome’, please feel free to email me or ask any questions. I certainly do NOT have all the answers, but if there is any way I can help, I would be honored.

And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD. (Psalm 40:3)

Back To Routine . . . ahhh

2011-04-25T07:38:00.001-04:00

The last couple of weeks have been anything BUT routine and the ‘naming’ and counting has been sporadic at best. I long for it, this seeing Him in everything, naming the gifts, thanking Him. I jot them down here or there, but long for the routine of seeing them all.day.long, in each moment. I am praying this week to get back to ‘normal’. (what is normal anyway?)

How are you doing with your counting and naming His gifts? Do you find it ‘easy’ to fall out of the habit of gratitude still, as I do?

for a husband who takes off his coat when he is late for work and refuses to leave until he prays with me asking God to help us discern why I feel the way I feel. I was having a mini-meltdown, he was late for work but he laid down his life for me . . . is there a greater love than to lay down your life for a friend? So blessed to be his friend (and wife)

seeing a special someone who shared that she reads my blog and is inspired. What joy and amazement it brings my heart to know that the Lord uses the messy of my life to touch another heart. I shake my head in wonder and ‘name’ this opportunity, GIFT.

visiting with the elderly, putting a ‘show’ on for them with children singing and playing piano. These people who have lived, and lived long, have such tenderness in their hearts, and we get to spend time with them!

meeting a man who has been married 72 years! His bride was upstairs baking cupcakes, we’ll meet her next time. The wonder of 72 years married to the man of my dreams. Beautiful!

seeing cousins I haven’t seen in a long time. Hey, weren’t we always going to be children playing in the orchards and woods, riding bikes and skinning knees?

‘urge to purge’ in a deeper way. As the spiritual purging continues the physical follows. I’ve always been a purger and an organizer, but apparently there is grace to take them to new heights, and I am LOVING the ride.

watching home videos and adoring what I watch. I am pretty sure I am one of the richest women in the world.

gardening with the whole family, planting cabbage and kale.

counting and naming “gifts”, the joy it brings.

Freedom is Sweet!

2011-04-22T09:02:00.001-04:00

One of the ‘indicators’, if you will, of a spirit of guilt operating in your life might be ‘regret’ and/or ‘remorse’.

Several weeks ago, I realized that every time I would look at old family photos, old home videos, or a child was turning 20, or 19 or 15 or 10, the age didn’t matter, I would feel sadness. Something didn’t feel right, but I couldn’t discern it. I could never look back and have joy over the events or revel in the beauty of growth and change.

I prayed, asking the Lord to give me discernment into this. It was obvious that something was not right. It wasn’t long before, through teachings, His Word and circumstances that this kind of thinking was tied to a spirit of guilt. As I repented and removed and began to fill my mind with Truth, freedom came. I was able to discern that the ‘names’ for those feelings were indeed ‘regret’ and ‘remorse’. Discerning, naming, repenting and removing has brought a whole new outlook on life.

It was like I had these dark glasses on that only allowed me to see things through guilt. This is how I would describe what it is like as I discern each new layer of bondage the Lord is removing. Can I tell you the world looks entirely different than it did 337 days ago!?

The joy that fills my soul as I face each day without guilt! (not to mention,a spirit of fear, performance, drivenness, envy, jealousy . . . shall I keep going? )

I watched an old home video last night, guess what? Nothing but pure joy and thankfulness for the life we have lived. No regrets. No remorse. No guilt. Just joy! Freedom is sweet.

Whose Hands Are You In?

2011-04-21T08:37:00.001-04:00

I was reading Psalm 31 yesterday, and so many things ‘popped’ to me, but none more than,

Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth. (verse 5)

Hand: power, strength, assistance. “into thine hand”, means to delegate authority, responsibility, care and dominion.

Commit: entrust

Spirit: my inner man, my life

So, into Your power, strength, authority, responsibility and care, I entrust my very life, my spirit.

My times are in thy hand . . . (verse 15)

Times: circumstances, courses of times.

But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

He KNOWS the way that I take!!

Ladies, commit your spirit, your life, afresh, into the strong hands of our God. He can be trusted, He knows, intimately every detail of what you are going through.

Stop the fretting, the striving, the working. Run to Him and commit yourself to Him. Commit the circumstances that are weighing you down to Him. No matter how alone you feel in your pain or struggle, He knows, give it to Him and find rest in His hands.

You have a Maker Who loves you with an everlasting love. So great is this love for you that He gave His only Son, for you. Don’t just gloss over that because it is familiar. He.loves.you! Because of the great love with which He loved you, while you were yet dead in your sins Christ died for you!

O love the LORD, all ye his saints: for the LORD preserveth the faithful . . . Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. (Psalm 31:23-24)

What If This IS . . .

2011-04-14T08:30:00.001-04:00

I was visiting with a dear friend yesterday. We were leaning over the sink, watching the children and animals run and play. We were talking about how difficult the days were, lamenting over them, really.

I had the thought, ‘what if this IS the way it is supposed to be?

What if this pace, this amount of things getting done in a day, and these things never seeming to get done, the same things happening over and over again—‘what if this is how it’s supposed to be?’

What if I find out twenty years from now, or even on the other side of eternity that the way my days played out, the way the seasons of my life played out were exactly how they were supposed to be?

Imagine the gasp, my hand cupped over my mouth, eyes filling with tears when I realize the hours, the days, the years I longed for my days to be different. You know, more productive, more useful, more organized, more orderly, more ‘whatever’!

What!! Are you serious?! That is how You planned it, and I fought it all those years? I was robbed of the joy and peace that was hidden in the busy, the messy, the often times ugly?

It is a lie, ladies! Today, with it’s often times ugly and busy is full of beauty and grace. Our enemy has us chasing after the ‘perfect’ (or even slightly better would be nice ) day or ‘perfect’ life. You know, the one where everything is the way ‘we’, with our infinite wisdom, think it should be?

But what if we are wrong? What if it is here, in this day—beauty, gift, perfect?

Open our eyes, gracious Father, to the beauty, the perfect, the grace, that You bestow each and every day. Forgive us for not recognizing Your perfect will right before our eyes. Change our hearts, cause our thoughts and desires to line up with Yours. Not my will, but Yours be done.

Anti-Guilt Song

2011-04-10T13:47:00.001-04:00

I stumbled across a beautiful song that ministered to my heart in regards to the recent deliverance from a spirit of guilt from my life.

The words really speak to my heart. Especially the line,

I know you, I love you, I gave my life to save you, Love paid the price for mercy, My verdict, Not Guilty

I stand accused
There’s a list a mile long
Of all my sins
Of everything that I’ve done wrong
I’m so ashamed
There’s nowhere left for me to hide
This is the day
I must answer for my life
My fate is in the Judge’s hands
But then He turns to me and says

I know you
I love you
I gave My life to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict not guilty

How can it be?
I can’t begin to comprehend
What kind of grace
Would take the place of all my sin?
I stand in awe
Now that I have been set free
And the tears well up as I look at that cross
‘Cause it should have been me
My fate was in the nail scarred hands
He stretched them out for me and said

Chorus

I’m falling on my knees to thank You
With everything I am I’ll praise You
So grateful for the words I heard You say

Discerning Drivenness

2011-04-07T15:15:00.003-04:00

Drivenness is friends with Performance. I would suspect that the two usually hang out together. If you see one, the other is probably right there too.

For me, it seemed like Drivenness was the drive behind Performance. It always drives and pushes. It likes to use the word ‘should’. You might think things like, ‘I should be doing this or that . . . I should bring a meal, work in the nursery, do more school with the children, keep this house up better . . . I should, I should, I should!’

One thing I want you to notice is the enemy rarely comes at you in the second person, as in, “you should . . .” That would be easier to detect. No, he’s more subtle and uses the first person, “I should”. Therefore, you think it is you having the thoughts, not him. It actually feels like it is just part of your personality.

I am not saying we shouldn’t be doing all those things, but the question is, ‘what spirit is behind it’? Is it the Holy Spirit leading you? Is it the enemy driving you through Drivenness and/or Performance?

That is another point. Do you feel led or driven? Jesus NEVER drives His sheep. He only leads them. The enemy drives and drives hard. It is relentless, eventually. If I am feeling driven to do anything, that is my clue to stop, pray, listen and discern. My goal is to refuse to do anything I feel “driven” to do.

Drivenness will keep you running and chasing and doing, never able to fully enter His rest. Never able to be at peace on the inside. It will even drive you to try and find that peace.

You can see how Performance fits here too, right? If you feel the need to perform to be loved, Drivenness will come along and help you perform. It is a vicious cycle, often ending in various ‘syndromes’, including, Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, and others.

The enemy doesn’t care, He wants you dead, or at the very least chasing your tail until you collapse. Do not forget the the thief comes to STEAL, KILL AND DESTROY you, your health, your life, your family. He will use anything, even Performance and Drivenness.

When I was delivered from Drivenness last August, it became apparent to me that it had been such a part of who I was, that once it was gone, I felt sort of lost, as though something was missing. (Which is kind of funny, because something was missing, Drivenness! )

I described it as that feeling that whatever was always pushing me from behind was gone. I cried when I realized for the first time in a long time I wasn’t feeling pushed. There was such peace and rest on the inside. Before, I hadn’t realized that that is what it felt like, but now that it was gone, I could really tell. I kept saying, ‘feels like something is missing.’ To which Brian would respond with, ‘um, yeah, a spirit of drivenness.’

Of course there is a ‘walkout’ to this. The temptation to go right back into Drivenness is right there. I have definitely stumbled. I have had countless opportunity to put in to practice what I am learning and it is so cool to handle things without Drivenness! Since last August there have been quite a few big opportunities to walk right back into that crazy mindset. We had my son’s graduation party, a big baptism party, the holidays, a trip to Georgia, starting back at school. I was a totally different person handling these things. I still did what needed to be done, but without the stress and drivenness. I was able to trust God to work things out. If you asked my children today, they would totally agree that Mama is a different person.

I encourage you to examine your motives or the ‘spirit’ behind the things you do. Do you feel like you are always ‘pushed’ and ‘driven’ to do things? Do you lack the inner peace, especially as you set out to accomplish what ‘you’ think needs to be done?

The next time you feel you ‘should’ do something, ask yourself if it is something the Lord would have you do or is there another voice driving you.

Organizing The Bathroom

2011-04-06T20:43:00.001-04:00

While everyone has been sick and laying low, I have been organizing with a frenzy. I have been having a ball! When we are doing school it is hard to find the time to put into re-organizing things, so I took advantage of the ‘off’ time.

This the upper bathroom cabinet before re-organizing. Not bad to start with, but I was inspired to kick it up a notch.

Before picture of the lower cabinet.

This cabinet has been my nemesis for years. It is where we keep our table clothes and pillowcases. It is ALWAYS a mess, and frankly, I have no idea why I didn’t do something about it sooner! Oh, yeah, Adrenal Exhaustion. Healed now, though, remember!!!???

Before under the sink.

Last cabinet before picture.

Some tips that I have always tried to follow when organizing are:

measure your space and find the perfect containers to FILL the space. You don’t want to waste any space.
pull everything out and only put back what you really want.
be ruthless with your purging, do you really need 4 curling irons?? 3 different kinds of gel when you don’t even use gel? I think not. Toss it!
group like items together
use smaller containers within the bigger ones to keep things tidy.

Here are the ‘after’ pictures! I put darling old fashioned scrapbook paper inside the boxes and printed new labels on clear sticker paper.

Here is a close up of the paper and the label.

Too cute!

The lower cabinet always had towels tumbling out. Yesterday I measured and re-measured and hopped on Amazon and found the perfect size containers to fill my space as completely as I could. Now all the towels, tablecloths and bedding fit neatly and perfectly in the containers. I purged out all the old, raggy towels that don’t get used anyway.

A nice basket for diapers and pull-ups. An out of the way place for lotion making supplies, the scale (which I am convinced should be thrown into the deepest ocean, but that’s another story) and heating pad/packs.

Under the sink was organized and purged.

Purged out hair product container, and a few extra things.

Not bad for a days work, is it? Have you been organizing this Spring?